back alimony in TN

[lisagr33]

What is the name of your state? TN

This question is for my husband. How can he go about getting his ex-wife to understand that until the estate settles, he can't give her a time-frame or deadline as to when she receives her back alimony?

He owes back alimony in the sum of $20,000 from where his former employer shut the company down and moved out of the country and neck surgery in 2002. He had all the paperwork from where he had been out but the judge would not listen. Anyway, my husband's mom passed away last June and the estate has yet to settle because the house has yet to sell. His ex-wife has been sending him letter after letter wanting to know when she would get her back alimony. He has tried to explain to her in letters that as soon as the estate is settled, she would get paid. The most recent letter from her dated January 13, 2008 stated that she had ways to go about and get her money and that she needed a time-frame or deadline as to when she can receive her money. He explained to her that the estate has still not settled due to the house still not selling and is afraid that she will not like that.

His mom's will states that any monies due to my husband should go into a trust but my husband is afraid that his ex-wife will fight that. Hubby's mom knew what his ex-wife was like and didn't want her getting anything that belonged to him and that is why she did it that way.

[Ohiogal]

Here is the problem -- unless the order states that back alimony will be paid from the settlement of the estate (and I can guarantee you it doesn't for a variety of reasons unless the judge was trying to make up law) your husband owes the alimony today. And yesterday and when it was first due to be paid. He may plan to pay her out of the settlement of the estate but that does not mean ex-wifey needs to wait for it.

[LdiJ]

Since hubby has an inheritance pending, it might be in his best interest to take out a loan to pay her off, and then pay off the loan with the inheritance.

He owes her the money. She has every right to ask for it and he is 100% obligated to pay her. It has nothing to do with "how she is".

[tuffbrk]

Keep in mind that his Ex has been owed some portion of this money for almost 6 years now. At what point does he expect to pay it? How would he have paid it if he wasn't receiving an inheritance?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tuffbrk

Keep in mind that his Ex has been owed some portion of this money for almost 6 years now. At what point does he expect to pay it? How would he have paid it if he wasn't receiving an inheritance?

The problem here is that the husband through no fault of his own COULD NOT pay the alimony.

The idiot judge said, "I don't care whether you can pay it or not, MY ORDERS ARE THAT YOU WILL PAY IT!!

If they were still married and the husband lost employment, what would the judge order???

I say the judge is acting ridiculous!!

[tuffbrk]

Oh Darlin' Bali - you know I agree with that one. But it's the same for CS. If Mom/Dad are unemployed, the child just can't go on the school trip or get the Jordan sneakers. Yet arrears accrue at the same amount. So once you're paid current, the school trip is over and what - now Mom gets the child the Jordans? I don't think so. You can't "make up" what they did without while they did without it. Everyone else had to do without yet the child is insulated? It wouldn't happen if the parents were still married.

I understand that the custodial parent deserves to receive compensation for the additional housing/food/expenses. I'm the CP - I get it, I do. Yet if involuntarily unemployed, I think it would make more sense for a lesser amount to accrue, as realistically - Mom or Dad didn't have a job and weren't making money and that's life.

Alimony - no different. If I'm not voluntarily underemployed, but am unemployed just the same - if we were married, we'd have to tighten our belts. But since we're not - now only I have to tighten my belt? That's ridiculous. If you choose to hang onto someone's skirts/pants/paycheck after a divorce, you should have to accept that there may be down times - because that's life too.

Or course, this doesn't take into account the irresponsible parents that choose to purposely withhold or withhold an amount that keeps them in arrears but out of jail. However, the system should be set up fairly to accomodate the majority. You should be presumed responsible until proved otherwise...Family Courts and their laws are nothing but a joke.