CA Co-habitation and Spousal Support

[LisetteCA]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? California

Married: 14 years
My Ex: Gengis Khan, VP of IT ($170K per year, plus $50k bonuses per yr)
My Income: Self Employed, was $50k, now down to $20k in NC
No kids, he made me have 4 abortions. Talked me into the DINK life.
Double Income No Kids.

I left my life in California, left the Hummer, left the bullcrap.

QUESTION 1:
My lawyer (And I'm going to ask a relative/lawyer in Orange County) tells me that for the 7 years of spousal support, I cannot have any relationship. That would be "co-habitation". I'm beginning to not trust her.

I'm in a relationship (I've only had 3 total my whole life, I'm 38). In love, and want to have his children. She basically said I have to live on my own, I cannot reside with someone else, or its "co-habitation".

SHE SAID IT MUST BE TWO ADDRESSES. But then I did give her two addresses and STILL, there can be SUPPORT, but no I support myself, and STILL they can come back later on and stop spousal support. WHAT FLIGGIN BULLCRAP. So can you guys help me on this?

QUESTION 2:
The settlement meeting is tomorrow Jan 5th. Can I get a new lawyer?
My family relative? My gut tells me this lawyer is in cahoots with the other one. Can I change of venue?

QUESTION 3:
Oh yes, and I can prove mental abuse, physical abuse, abadonment. But why cannot I present this to the judge? She says that does not matter. It does not matter that he's lied about going to a big chin-dig college, that he lies about the value of the house etc...

I thought you could get spousal support for your lifetime.?

Thank you in advance.

[gatorguy3]

He owes you nothing. Move on.

I am sorry for your abortions, but here is what I think on that.

As our great President once stated...

"Fool me once...shame on you...ummmm, fool me twice**************Just don't you fool me again."

Or something like that...

How can someone "make" you have 4 abortions? Better yet, how could you think the 2nd, or the 3rd, or the 4th were viable options?

[stealth2]

If you live with or marry your b/f, that's cohabotation and your alimony will end. Your lawyer is right.

And I have to agree with gator-dude - you agreed to the abortions. There was no legal way that he could have forced you to have them. That decision is on your head.

[nextwife]

Dear, NOBODY can "make you have an abortion.

I DID want children. Therefore, I simply refused to get involved with any guy who was not interested in parenthood. I married my wonderful husband at 41 (9 years ago). He was just turning 50. Guess what? We are happy, adoptive parents now of a 7 year old girl. So you have plenty of years left to become a mom! I have friends in the adoption community adopting at 50 and older.

You are allowed to live with whomever you wish. You just are NOT allowed to live with them AND collect spousal support. You are only 38, worked during the marriage. Why are you not capable of earning MORE than $20,000 annually? If you are in love, move on, make a life with your new guy, start a family and forget about having someone else support you any further. Having love and a family more than makes up for it!

[LisetteCA]

Thank you NextWife.

Now I see the light. Lawyers and the courts are a boys club all-around. The abuses don't matter. So I'm putting on the table a 'cash-out' settlement and I'll get going on my new life.

NextWife, thank you. I will get started living life as it should be--with a
family of ones own. A love child (God willing), my Marine prince and a happy home, our health--life can't get any better.

I'll let you know what happens tonite.

[nextwife]

There you go, girl. You're a YOUNG woman, only 38. Go have the life you wanted. Who needs a frikin, gas-guzzling, environmentally irresponsible, road hogging, hazard-to-all-else-on-the-road Hummer anyway?

Parenting at 40 plus is FUN!!!!! Keeps me young. Whether you make a baby or expand your family by adoption, GO FOR IT! It's worth all the money in the world.