Can He just STOP alimony??

[ExWifeFL]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLorida

Hello,

I got a text from the exH last Friday, he said he was no longer going to pay alimony and or was filing for a modification since he was/is no longer is employed.

He has worked for the Federal Government for 20+ years, has 300+ thousand in his TSP account, the house we bought I signed over to him. He has since been married and again divorced in the past 3 years.

Due to an illness that I had before we were married I was awarded permanent alimony, of which he agreed to in the settlement. I have worked at the same job for the past 12 years and would work more if I could....
now the majority of my income is gone, I can't pay my rent, insurance....

I know he can DO THIS as he did, but what actons can I take? Most of it will be Pro Se ....

HELP! and thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLorida

Hello,

I got a text from the exH last Friday, he said he was no longer going to pay alimony and or was filing for a modification since he was/is no longer is employed.

He has worked for the Federal Government for 20+ years, has 300+ thousand in his TSP account, the house we bought I signed over to him. He has since been married and again divorced in the past 3 years.

Due to an illness that I had before we were married I was awarded permanent alimony, of which he agreed to in the settlement. I have worked at the same job for the past 12 years and would work more if I could....
now the majority of my income is gone, I can't pay my rent, insurance....

I know he can DO THIS as he did, but what actons can I take? Most of it will be Pro Se ....

HELP! and thank you!

You need to file for contempt, immediately. However you also need to realize that you may not be able to collect from him, even if he is found in contempt. So you need to plan your future as if you won't be getting alimony any longer.

Could you get a roommate to help defray costs?

 

[ExWifeFL]

Thank you for the reply,

I'm already looking into a roomate, but...I wasn't able to pay my rent this month. The alimony was my housing expenses. I'm really not trying to cry about this too much, just see what options I have. I know I can't pay my CC's as I'd rather have health insurance.

We did the QDRO and it is on file...I wonder if I could file some sort of hardship thing and get it early vs waiting for him to retire? according to the text, after 20 plus years he was "let go"?

I can file the contempt motion and maybe have some sort of order drawn up and submit to his TSP?

I'm not greedy, I gave up our home in lieu of alimony, I live a very modest life and well, he's getting another divorce.

What all do I need to file a contempt motion?

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you for the reply,

I'm already looking into a roomate, but...I wasn't able to pay my rent this month. The alimony was my housing expenses. I'm really not trying to cry about this too much, just see what options I have. I know I can't pay my CC's as I'd rather have health insurance.

We did the QDRO and it is on file...I wonder if I could file some sort of hardship thing and get it early vs waiting for him to retire? according to the text, after 20 plus years he was "let go"?

He's a 20+ yr. FED and he was "let go"??? That's about impossible: he must've done something EPIC, or he's lying to you.

You'd need an attorney to change the QDRO. I can't imagine a layperson being able to do it him/herself.

I can file the contempt motion and maybe have some sort of order drawn up and submit to his TSP?

Again, you'd need an attorney to get TSP money from the Feds earlier than the QDRO states.

And I want to be clear that I am not saying you can get the QDRO changed at all. I don't know if you can or not.

I'm not greedy, I gave up our home in lieu of alimony, I live a very modest life and well, he's getting another divorce.

What all do I need to file a contempt motion?

The contempt motion is filed with the court that issued the alimony order, or that most recently modified it. The forms is available on the court's website, with instructions on how to use and file it:

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/960.pdf

 

[mistoffolees]

He's a 20+ yr. FED and he was "let go"??? That's about impossible: he must've done something EPIC, or he's lying to you.

You'd need an attorney to change the QDRO. I can't imagine a layperson being able to do it him/herself.


Again, you'd need an attorney to get TSP money from the Feds earlier than the QDRO states.

And I want to be clear that I am not saying you can get the QDRO changed at all. I don't know if you can or not.


The contempt motion is filed with the court that issued the alimony order, or that most recently modified it. The forms is available on the court's website, with instructions on how to use and file it:

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/960.pdf

I would definitely go the contempt route. No need to mess around with the QDRO at this point. First, it will be expensive and, as you point out, there's no guarantee the court will change it. Second, that means that OP will not have the money she needs to retire.

File for contempt. Ex will have to come up with the money - even if it means selling his house.

 

[ExWifeFL]

He's a 20+ yr. FED and he was "let go"??? That's about impossible: he must've done something EPIC, or he's lying to you.



You'd need an attorney to change the QDRO. I can't imagine a layperson being able to do it him/herself.


Again, you'd need an attorney to get TSP money from the Feds earlier than the QDRO states.

And I want to be clear that I am not saying you can get the QDRO changed at all. I don't know if you can or not.


The contempt motion is filed with the court that issued the alimony order, or that most recently modified it. The forms is available on the court's website, with instructions on how to use and file it:

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/960.pdf

Thank you for finding that form!!! I've looked on that website 50 times or more but did not see that one!! I was just typing it up on my own going on some earlier court documents and 15 hours of online research. Whew!!

As far as him lying?...it's par for the course. I asked if he did an early retirement since he had his 20 years in or did a medical retirement. I looked on the OPM.Gov website and saw his options. His short texts said "no, I was let go" and to stop trying to insinuate he was trying to pull a fast one, that he was nice enough to notify me by text that the alimony was over that he could not afford to buy dinner.

Ok, as far as the TSP goes, I waived my rights to the mariatal share and went with a slightly higher alimony, along with accepting less for the marital home (MISTAKE)!!! I have been to the TSP website and can see they have a "Attorneys Guide Handbook" and the wording needs to be specific when ordering a garnishment. They do have examples that can be used and I can easily type up.

Along with the contempt motion I am going to include the TSP form asking the Judge to order said amount to be deducted from his TSP acct. I am not sure on the wording of that though....you have to be specific with TSP. I would like it to be an ongoing thing not a lump sum as he's only 1 month behind right now.

I really do not want to mess with the QDRO as it IS my retirement....but...ahhhhhh he couldn't finish his 2nd divorce before the
3rd divorce was filed. Me? I just want to live quietly, have food on my plate and pay my bills.

Thank you for the help, I know this is going to be difficult but I can do it. I don't have much choice. Also, I know this is just general advice from the forum and I thank you again for that

 

[Silverplum]

You're very welcome.

Look up posts by Gracie3787. She has TONS of FL info in her posts.

One great piece of info from Gracie is this: You can get a low cost consult by calling the Florida Bar Lawyer referral Service at 1-800-342-8011.

Thank you for finding that form!!! I've looked on that website 50 times or more but did not see that one!! I was just typing it up on my own going on some earlier court documents and 15 hours of online research. Whew!!

As far as him lying?...it's par for the course. I asked if he did an early retirement since he had his 20 years in or did a medical retirement. I looked on the OPM.Gov website and saw his options. His short texts said "no, I was let go" and to stop trying to insinuate he was trying to pull a fast one, that he was nice enough to notify me by text that the alimony was over that he could not afford to buy dinner.

Ok, as far as the TSP goes, I waived my rights to the mariatal share and went with a slightly higher alimony, along with accepting less for the marital home (MISTAKE)!!! I have been to the TSP website and can see they have a "Attorneys Guide Handbook" and the wording needs to be specific when ordering a garnishment. They do have examples that can be used and I can easily type up.

Along with the contempt motion I am going to include the TSP form asking the Judge to order said amount to be deducted from his TSP acct. I am not sure on the wording of that though....you have to be specific with TSP. I would like it to be an ongoing thing not a lump sum as he's only 1 month behind right now.

I really do not want to mess with the QDRO as it IS my retirement....but...ahhhhhh he couldn't finish his 2nd divorce before the
3rd divorce was filed. Me? I just want to live quietly, have food on my plate and pay my bills.

Thank you for the help, I know this is going to be difficult but I can do it. I don't have much choice. Also, I know this is just general advice from the forum and I thank you again for that

 

[ExWifeFL]

Question?

Could his new wife be held responsible for any of his debts, like alimony?

Could the courts construe look at them as double income?

If so, this would explain why she filed for divorce in July....yes, it makes sense now.

 

[mistoffolees]

Question?

Could his new wife be held responsible for any of his debts, like alimony?

No.

Could the courts construe look at them as double income?

No. He doesn't have double income. He has income and his wife has income. And never the twain shall meet.

If so, this would explain why she filed for divorce in July....yes, it makes sense now.

No, it doesn't. At least not for the reason you're postulating.

 

[ExWifeFL]

No.



No. He doesn't have double income. He has income and his wife has income. And never the twain shall meet.



No, it doesn't. At least not for the reason you're postulating.

Yes, you're right. I am, without a doubt, on legal information OVERLOAD!!

I want to be prepared to the best of my ability for what's ahead, which is pretty hard when the ex has a super cloaking device on his life.

Forms are typed and printed.

Call is in to the attorney referral

Wondering if I should wait until Monday (or when I get a quick consult) before I fle?

Ahhhh.....

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, you're right. I am, without a doubt, on legal information OVERLOAD!!

I want to be prepared to the best of my ability for what's ahead, which is pretty hard when the ex has a super cloaking device on his life.

Forms are typed and printed.

Call is in to the attorney referral

Wondering if I should wait until Monday (or when I get a quick consult) before I fle?

Ahhhh.....

Your ex has NO OBLIGATION to allow you access to his life.

 

[mistoffolees]

Your ex has NO OBLIGATION to allow you access to his life.

You, of course, know this, but for OP's benefit, there is an exception to that statement. If the court order requires ex to keep you informed of things like his address, then he is required to do so. So read your court order to see if there's a requirement for ex to tell you where he lives or when he retires or whatever. Other than that, of course, OG is correct.

 

[ExWifeFL]

Of course I have no right knowing about ex's personal life, neither do I want to. However, not knowing certain things are detremential to MY life. A person who is going through a life crisis, a financial crisis or whatever it may be, and is "disobeying" the law to stop himself/herself from falling over the edge will more than likely HIDE things and DO things intentionally.

Things I have found out during the last 2 weeks.

He bought me out of the marital home 2 years ago. I signed a quit clame deed. He has never changed it to his name only, mine is still there? This is NOT good as I can see it's gone into foreclosure.

Former Husband was supposed to designate me as irrevocable beneficiary and increase it as security towards alimony and INFORM wife of policy in force every 6 months. As far as I know, he has not complied with any of that.

I did read in the QDRO if former spouse leaves service early and applies for a refund of contributions he is to notify me. If he intends to file for early retirement he is to notify me. Will he? No. The OPM does have my current address so they should automatically notify me anyway if he doesn't.

Did I go on with my life and think he would do what he agreed to do and what the court ordered him to do? Yes. My mistake.

Now I have to figure out what to do about the foreclosure that I saw when I looked on the clerk of courts website.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Ohiogal]

Of course I have no right knowing about ex's personal life, neither do I want to. However, not knowing certain things are detremential to MY life. A person who is going through a life crisis, a financial crisis or whatever it may be, and is "disobeying" the law to stop himself/herself from falling over the edge will more than likely HIDE things and DO things intentionally.

Not necessarily.
After all look at Joe Paterno -- he hid things and he is not in a financial crisis or a life crisis.

Things I have found out during the last 2 weeks.

He bought me out of the marital home 2 years ago. I signed a quit clame deed. He has never changed it to his name only, mine is still there? This is NOT good as I can see it's gone into foreclosure.

Did he refinance you off the mortgage? A quit claim deed does NOT remove your financial obligation if you are on the mortgage. If he did not refinance the mortgage into his name the quit claim deed doesn't do anything. If he didn't file the quit claim deed then you are still an owner of the house. And if your attorney told you that signing the quit claim relieved you of your responsibilities, he was extremely wrong.

Former Husband was supposed to designate me as irrevocable beneficiary and increase it as security towards alimony and INFORM wife of policy in force every 6 months. As far as I know, he has not complied with any of that.

Have you asked for a copy of the policy in force every six months?

I did read in the QDRO if former spouse leaves service early and applies for a refund of contributions he is to notify me. If he intends to file for early retirement he is to notify me. Will he? No. The OPM does have my current address so they should automatically notify me anyway if he doesn't.

THe QDRO should automatically kick in regardless of whether or not he tells you. To have those items in the QDRO seems ridiculous quite frankly.

Did I go on with my life and think he would do what he agreed to do and what the court ordered him to do? Yes. My mistake.

Your mistake was intending to live off of him for the rest of your life quite frankly.

Now I have to figure out what to do about the foreclosure that I saw when I looked on the clerk of courts website.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You would have to be served if you are a party to the foreclosure.

 

[ExWifeFL]

I don't know Joe Paterno's personal situation to say if he is in a life crisis or financial crisis. He hid things, maybe swept them under the rug, and from what I have heard, he also notified other people and seemingly washed his hands of it. Out of sight, out of mind. It appears he went on with his life while others crashed and burned and will be scarred forever... my sympathy goes towards the people who tried to do the right thing and those with the power abused them.

My name is not on the financial contract. No I was not served. I can look on the clerk of courts website and see Mortgage Co Vs his name, my name. I also can see the homeowners assoc vs his name my name.

My mistake was not intending to live off him for the rest of my life. I do work very hard at my employment, as much as my body allows it, if the opportunity arrises for more hours and I can do it, I do it. I do not squander my money on luxuries, I pay my bills. I dropped the alimony 450.00 during a
2nd mediation because I did not need that amount. I live a simple life and enjoy the simple things. His earnings are/were 200K + mine are/were 40K, now it's 20K.

Yes I've asked for the documents per the court order. Did he every supply me with them? No. He was too busy planning a spectacular wedding in Puerto Rico, taking many trips to Las Vegas and buying expensive cameras
( but thats his business not mine)

The QDRO was done by a law firm that does just that as the Federal Government needs things worded specifically, I have no control over what they write. It was accepted by the OPM.

Is receiving alimony wrong?

The things he did have left me traumatized for life, scarred for life, this is why I live the quiet life I do now or used to.

Do emotions play a part in upholding the law?

I am not a scavenger, far from it. I gave up a lot for what he agreed to, just so he could go do his thing.