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  #1  
Old 07-28-2006, 02:31 AM
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Can his ex sue for more after all support was paid already??

What is the name of your state? Washington

my boyfriend was separated in 2002 after 20 years of marriage and divorced in Aug 2003...he had two daughters for whom he paid the child support till they were old enough..the youngest one just turned 18 so his child support just stopped...also his alimony that he owed for three years...I do not know what he paid his ex but I do know it is less than she could have gotten..apparently she chose not to use a lawyer ...she kept the house , he the retirement fund...she has had bankruptcy issues and just sold her house and moved with the youngest daughter out of state...her father had to put the down payment on the new house due to her bad credit score...she is not working for the last half year due to "supposed" medical problems...daughter wants to go to junior college now which my boyfriend fully supports and wll pay for though he does not have to by law I believe...??? ANYWAY...he has willingly given them extra money all the time above and beyond what the court decreed just to keep them afloat.( maybe he should have documented that!1??).which i guess is admirable...but he mentioned once that he is worried she could go back to court to sue for more money from him...money that she "could " have gotten had she asked for more in the first place. BUT ..I remember from my lawyer though ( I was married 28 years am getting six years alimony) that once you sign the divorce papers that's IT....if you wanted to sue for something it would cost you at least 20000 dollars to go to court to get it settled...what really is the deal?? and how long is he supposed to keep this up? she could hold out her hand the rest of her life..she's only 40 ..he's 50..does the court not expect her to work? should she ask for disability from the state if she claims she can't work??? also any time he spends any money for himself like a vacation ...she has a fit bec she thinks that money should have gone to her...she does not realize the breadwinner needs a break also ....what to do?? and does she have a case????.....What is the name of your state?
  #2  
Old 07-28-2006, 08:03 AM
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No, she can't go back to court and try to sue for what she COULD have gotten if she hadn't agreed to something less.

However, she could possibly try to get support extended for the younger daughter through the college years. There is no guarantee that she would win, its just possible that she could.
  #3  
Old 07-28-2006, 06:10 PM
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he's already going to do that anyway..

support his daughter...he paid for training for his older one too..there are some savings bonds in place and the rest he will pay for so no problem..I just mainly wondered if his ex can do anything legal about getting more out of him....he's already nice enough to keep giving her some money anyway....should he perhaps give her some lump sum at one point and call it "good"? I don't know what that amount would be and I guess neither does he...is there a way he could "calculate" what she could have gotten and what he gave her and make up some "deal" and then call it quits before this goes on indefinitely..I forgot the "formula" for alimony...I know my lawyer used it too...something about how much he makes per year...( she didn't work) ...length of marriage etcet?? anyone know??
  #4  
Old 07-28-2006, 08:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by safarigirl
support his daughter...he paid for training for his older one too..there are some savings bonds in place and the rest he will pay for so no problem..I just mainly wondered if his ex can do anything legal about getting more out of him....he's already nice enough to keep giving her some money anyway....should he perhaps give her some lump sum at one point and call it "good"? I don't know what that amount would be and I guess neither does he...is there a way he could "calculate" what she could have gotten and what he gave her and make up some "deal" and then call it quits before this goes on indefinitely..I forgot the "formula" for alimony...I know my lawyer used it too...something about how much he makes per year...( she didn't work) ...length of marriage etcet?? anyone know??
Again, she can't get anything based on what she "could" have gotten if she had taken it back to court...or if she had made a different agreement at the time of the divorce. That is all over and done with. The only possible thing that she could get at this point is extended child support for the 18 year old....and even that isn't likely.....assuming that there isn't something unusual written into their divorce orders.

Now, if he feels guilty and feels that he didn't treat her fairly in the divorce...or feels that she was over fair to him in not increasing child support over the years, then of course he is free to do something for her now if he cares to do so....however that would be purely a "gift"...and purely at his discretion.

If there was something unsual written into their divorce orders...(ie child support to increase XXX under certain circumstances...and he was paying her directly instead of through the courts....and didn't honor those clauses)...then he might be in violation of those clauses...but otherwise....he is home free.
  #5  
Old 07-28-2006, 09:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by safarigirl
What is the name of your state? Washington

my boyfriend was separated in 2002 after 20 years of marriage and divorced in Aug 2003...he had two daughters for whom he paid the child support till they were old enough..the youngest one just turned 18 so his child support just stopped...also his alimony that he owed for three years...I do not know what he paid his ex but I do know it is less than she could have gotten..apparently she chose not to use a lawyer ...she kept the house , he the retirement fund...she has had bankruptcy issues and just sold her house and moved with the youngest daughter out of state...her father had to put the down payment on the new house due to her bad credit score...she is not working for the last half year due to "supposed" medical problems...daughter wants to go to junior college now which my boyfriend fully supports and wll pay for though he does not have to by law I believe...??? ANYWAY...he has willingly given them extra money all the time above and beyond what the court decreed just to keep them afloat.( maybe he should have documented that!1??).which i guess is admirable...but he mentioned once that he is worried she could go back to court to sue for more money from him...money that she "could " have gotten had she asked for more in the first place. BUT ..I remember from my lawyer though ( I was married 28 years am getting six years alimony) that once you sign the divorce papers that's IT....if you wanted to sue for something it would cost you at least 20000 dollars to go to court to get it settled...what really is the deal?? and how long is he supposed to keep this up? she could hold out her hand the rest of her life..she's only 40 ..he's 50..does the court not expect her to work? should she ask for disability from the state if she claims she can't work??? also any time he spends any money for himself like a vacation ...she has a fit bec she thinks that money should have gone to her...she does not realize the breadwinner needs a break also ....what to do?? and does she have a case????.....What is the name of your state?
Stay out of business that is not yours....And don't complicate it more by adding your experience.

Have Dad come back and express his case without much emotion. Start a new thread.

You are way more involved than you should be.

Goodbye.
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  #6  
Old 07-28-2006, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LdiJ
Again, she can't get anything based on what she "could" have gotten if she had taken it back to court...or if she had made a different agreement at the time of the divorce. That is all over and done with. The only possible thing that she could get at this point is extended child support for the 18 year old....and even that isn't likely.....assuming that there isn't something unusual written into their divorce orders.

Now, if he feels guilty and feels that he didn't treat her fairly in the divorce...or feels that she was over fair to him in not increasing child support over the years, then of course he is free to do something for her now if he cares to do so....however that would be purely a "gift"...and purely at his discretion.

If there was something unsual written into their divorce orders...(ie child support to increase XXX under certain circumstances...and he was paying her directly instead of through the courts....and didn't honor those clauses)...then he might be in violation of those clauses...but otherwise....he is home free.
Who gives a crap?

This is a step-parent/girlfriend wanting to intrude in on business that is not hers.

Unusual it may be,....But it is the business of the Dad and Mom....Steps/girl-boyfriends sticking their nose in it only complicates it.

Granted, stepparents feel an obligation/need...but in reality they have no say..

This is not about how we may feel for the stepparent/girl/boy friend position, (as many of us are),,,BUT the law states otherwise.

And the law states that it is none of the posters business!
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  #7  
Old 07-28-2006, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StickyFingers
Who gives a crap?

This is a step-parent/girlfriend wanting to intrude in on business that is not hers.

Unusual it may be,....But it is the business of the Dad and Mom....Steps/girl-boyfriends sticking their nose in it only complicates it.

Granted, stepparents feel an obligation/need...but in reality they have no say..

This is not about how we may feel for the stepparent/girl/boy friend position, (as many of us are),,,BUT the law states otherwise.

And the law states that it is none of the posters business!
So...because the poster is a step/girl-boyfriend etc they don't deserve an accurate answer?...particularly when CS is basically done?

Sorry...I disagree. If the kids were still young I might agree with you...but this is an after the fact situation.
  #8  
Old 07-28-2006, 10:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LdiJ
So...because the poster is a step/girl-boyfriend etc they don't deserve an accurate answer?...particularly when CS is basically done?0
No, But it is not any part of the SO/step parrent business..either way, No matter how old the child(ren) are.

Quote:
Sorry...I disagree. If the kids were still young I might agree with you...but this is an after the fact situation.
Who cares?....5 yr olds or 17 yr olds....The fact remains that anything involving custody is NOT Step-Moms business!

This whole post is writen by a step. I want to see Dad here writing on his own accord complaining of same things....

Sorry, but Steps have no rights...No matter how old their step-children are..or how many years have gone by.

It is time for certain people to step up! ...Time to be a man/woman....Time to get sh!t on the track!....That is my concern/problem.

It's not personal Ldij.
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  #9  
Old 07-28-2006, 10:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StickyFingers
No, But it is not any part of the SO/step parrent business..either way, No matter how old the child(ren) are.



Who cares?....5 yr olds or 17 yr olds....The fact remains that anything involving custody is NOT Step-Moms business!

This whole post is writen by a step. I want to see Dad here writing on his own accord complaining of same things....

Sorry, but Steps have no rights...No matter how old their step-children are..or how many years have gone by.

It is time for certain people to step up! ...Time to be a man/woman....Time to get sh!t on the track!....That is my concern/problem.

It's not personal Ldij.
I realize that its not personal....however this is a forum for legal advice......and if you will note steps and significant others don't get much respect in the other forums on issues of child custody or support...nor should they.

However, in this instance the questions were basic and financial....and mostly unrelated to children.
  #10  
Old 07-28-2006, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LdiJ
I realize that its not personal....however this is a forum for legal advice......and if you will note steps and significant others don't get much respect in the other forums on issues of child custody or support...nor should they.

However, in this instance the questions were basic and financial....and mostly unrelated to children.
Ldij...I respect most of your postings and find merritt in your sentiment. But who gives a crap about the recognition of SOs or whatever..I rarely post anymore..and I don't know about "trends" on this board. I speak my mind..and here it is..

If this was Dad...MY reaction would be different. This seems to be just another controlling step and find most of her rantings to be more emotional than anything else.

No one here will hug her and tell her wants she wants to hear...and say everything is OK.


And I will NOT give HER advice on what to do!....She can't do crap! It is not her kid!


Like I said..I will be more than happy to help "Dad". But I will not help a stranger interfere in business that is NOT hers.

She needs to butt out and just let "Mom and Dad" work on issues.

She is more of the problem than anything else...this post proves it!
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Last edited by StickyFingers; 07-28-2006 at 10:33 PM.
  #11  
Old 07-29-2006, 01:46 PM
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wow how rude!!!!

man this board really sucks..what the hell ? I'm nOT a stepparent..don't even know the daughters...I'm his long time girlfriend and only wanted to know the answer to the legal question...it's cause he was concerned and I love him and don't want him to freak out..so back down whoever you are with my "butting" in..I don't want control over his money or anything...he just deposited some more money into both the daughters accounts so good for him cause he's a nice guy...I just wanted the legal advice..so thanks for that...so "cool" down whoever you are...thanks for the support from the other one...I will never be a stepparent if I can help it...besides they are old enough to take care of themselves....
  #12  
Old 07-29-2006, 09:10 PM
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Quote:
man this board really sucks..what the hell ?
Then leave....Trust me...We will not miss you.

Quote:
I'm nOT a stepparent..don't even know the daughters...I'm his long time girlfriend and only wanted to know the answer to the legal question...it's cause he was concerned and I love him and don't want him to freak out..so back down whoever you are with my "butting" in..
You have no say...and don't matter in the least bit.You are insignifigant
.No worry about you.

Quote:
I don't want control over his money or anything...he just deposited some more money into both the daughters accounts so good for him cause he's a nice guy...I just wanted the legal advice..so thanks for that...so "cool" down whoever you are...thanks for the support from the other one...I will never be a stepparent if I can help it...besides they are old enough to take care of themselves....
***sigh***

What an idiot.
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Last edited by StickyFingers; 07-29-2006 at 09:20 PM.
  #13  
Old 07-30-2006, 03:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by safarigirl
man this board really sucks..what the hell ? I'm nOT a stepparent..don't even know the daughters...I'm his long time girlfriend and only wanted to know the answer to the legal question...it's cause he was concerned and I love him and don't want him to freak out..so back down whoever you are with my "butting" in..I don't want control over his money or anything...he just deposited some more money into both the daughters accounts so good for him cause he's a nice guy...I just wanted the legal advice..so thanks for that...so "cool" down whoever you are...thanks for the support from the other one...I will never be a stepparent if I can help it...besides they are old enough to take care of themselves....
While I don't really see the harm in answering your question, Sticky is right, this matter is not your business. Considering the fact that you haven't even met the children and you have no intention on marrying this man, your reasons for trying to "help" him are questionable. I have never known anyone in a "long term relationship" that didn't, at some point, meet the kids.

Since dad apparently has no problem with sending his children money, there is no reason for you to even ask your original question.
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  #14  
Old 07-30-2006, 03:36 PM
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just wanted answer to a simple question

and I guess I got that so thanks I guess.....I have briefly met one daughter the other is out of state with mother so doubt we'll ever meet ...and who cares...HE not I....just wanted to know and he didn't ask me to write this I was just curious..if the ex could come back to "bite' him for more so to speak....BECAUSE it's not that he does not want to help his daughters out but how much longer will the ex be asking for a handout?? He can't even tell her he's going on vaction with me for fear she will just bitch and bitch about it and keep asking for more and more handouts....I told him he's entitled to do whatever he wants with his money and stop having a guilt trip...anyway thanks for all the messages.....
  #15  
Old 07-30-2006, 04:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by safarigirl
and I guess I got that so thanks I guess.....I have briefly met one daughter the other is out of state with mother so doubt we'll ever meet ...and who cares...HE not I....just wanted to know and he didn't ask me to write this I was just curious..if the ex could come back to "bite' him for more so to speak....BECAUSE it's not that he does not want to help his daughters out but how much longer will the ex be asking for a handout?? He can't even tell her he's going on vaction with me for fear she will just bitch and bitch about it and keep asking for more and more handouts....I told him he's entitled to do whatever he wants with his money and stop having a guilt trip...anyway thanks for all the messages.....
When two people marry the woman (wife) expects to own the man financially for the rest of his life. That is a fact.

The court system in this country encourages this, just in case you haven't noticed.

Don't go away mad just because a few women "scorned" on this forum have choosen to beat you up.

If you can't handle that, what will you do face to face with the same mentality?
Last edited by Bali Hai; 07-30-2006 at 04:09 PM.
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