Can I end Alimony???

[tom_rob]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

Well, here's the deal... I live in Florida. I was divorced in '08 and in the final decree (all mutually agreed upon, nothing court ordered) I agreed to pay $700 a month in alimony for three (3) years). I thought there was a clause saying that it would end upon her remarriage, well in all the changes there is not....
My ex has now been remarried for 3 months. I assumed the alimony would just end, but she she sent me an e-mail tonight stating that her new husband doesn't have a job and they can't afford to live without my alimony.
I'm in the aviation industry and make $40,000 a year, I pay her $1,500 a month in alimony and child support (after taxes!!!), which since the industry has not turned out like it was supposed to, I am not financially able to do....

Do I have any sort of leg to stand upon?? I'm going to contact a lawyer in about a week... but does anyone have any ideas or advice for me?
They already tried to move to Costa Rica and take my son from me (3 years old, I have him 2 days a week), which they dropped the day before court (after depositions and mediation, ugh).

Thanks for the help...

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by tom_rob

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

Well, here's the deal... I live in Florida. I was divorced in '08 and in the final decree (all mutually agreed upon, nothing court ordered) I agreed to pay $700 a month in alimony for three (3) years). I thought there was a clause saying that it would end upon her remarriage, well in all the changes there is not....
My ex has now been remarried for 3 months. I assumed the alimony would just end, but she she sent me an e-mail tonight stating that her new husband doesn't have a job and they can't afford to live without my alimony.
I'm in the aviation industry and make $40,000 a year, I pay her $1,500 a month in alimony and child support (after taxes!!!), which since the industry has not turned out like it was supposed to, I am not financially able to do....

Do I have any sort of leg to stand upon?? I'm going to contact a lawyer in about a week... but does anyone have any ideas or advice for me?
They already tried to move to Costa Rica and take my son from me (3 years old, I have him 2 days a week), which they dropped the day before court (after depositions and mediation, ugh).

Thanks for the help...

If the divorce decree says alimony for 3 years, and doesn't state that it ends upon her remarriage...then you may have a problem. I think that FL may allow you to petition to end alimony in that scenario, but you need to confirm that with an attorney and you need to keep paying until a court orders otherwise.

I will also add...just to make sure that you are aware...you do realize that alimony is tax deductible to you and taxable income to her? That will at least help you somewhat and would allow you to adjust your withholding to reflect that.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by tom_rob

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

Well, here's the deal... I live in Florida. I was divorced in '08 and in the final decree (all mutually agreed upon, nothing court ordered) I agreed to pay $700 a month in alimony for three (3) years). I thought there was a clause saying that it would end upon her remarriage, well in all the changes there is not....
My ex has now been remarried for 3 months. I assumed the alimony would just end, but she she sent me an e-mail tonight stating that her new husband doesn't have a job and they can't afford to live without my alimony.
I'm in the aviation industry and make $40,000 a year, I pay her $1,500 a month in alimony and child support (after taxes!!!), which since the industry has not turned out like it was supposed to, I am not financially able to do....

Do I have any sort of leg to stand upon?? I'm going to contact a lawyer in about a week... but does anyone have any ideas or advice for me?
They already tried to move to Costa Rica and take my son from me (3 years old, I have him 2 days a week), which they dropped the day before court (after depositions and mediation, ugh).

Thanks for the help...

Are you paying both alimony and child support without having a court order directing you to do that?

[tom_rob]

LdiJ,

Yeah, I keep on paying it... I really thought it would be a non-issue after she was remarried; guess we had different ideas.... Obviously I have no issue with the child support, but paying the alimony to support her new husband kills me!
Thanks for the info on it being deductable, that is the one... tiny... little.. bright spot! :-)

Thanks!

Tom

[tom_rob]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Are you paying both alimony and child support without having a court order directing you to do that?

No, We had an attorney draw up, and signed, a court order stating I would pay the Florida child support for my income, and $700 a month for three years ($1500 total).

I'm probably fighting an uphill battle here... but It just doesn't seem right to me.

Thanks.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by tom_rob

LdiJ,

Yeah, I keep on paying it... I really thought it would be a non-issue after she was remarried; guess we had different ideas.... Obviously I have no issue with the child support, but paying the alimony to support her new husband kills me!
Thanks for the info on it being deductable, that is the one... tiny... little.. bright spot! :-)

Thanks!

Tom

Ack! I had quietly hoped that there wasn't actually a binding order regarding the alimony.

Yes, you really do need to speak with an attorney. LdiJ and others might correct me if I'm wrong but very often if the agreement doesn't contain verbiage which would allow early stoppage or modification, the obligor is out of luck.

In all honesty I don't think anyone can fairly predict what would happen if it went to court; most of us (I believe) would support the notion that remarriage (I'd actually go with cohabitation too, but that's just me!) would automatically cause alimony to stop but that's not set in stone unfortunately.

[tom_rob]

Yeah, I'm not holding out too much hope...
The thing is... she married this guy who has loads of money and they just moved into a house on the ocean... he doesn't work...
Then she tells me my alimony is entitled to her, even more so because he doesn't have a job....
Well, I'm not going to let it consume me (although it would be very easy to let it!!! :-) ) But I'm hurting here to make the bills....
Tom

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Ack! I had quietly hoped that there wasn't actually a binding order regarding the alimony.

Yes, you really do need to speak with an attorney. LdiJ and others might correct me if I'm wrong but very often if the agreement doesn't contain verbiage which would allow early stoppage or modification, the obligor is out of luck.

In all honesty I don't think anyone can fairly predict what would happen if it went to court; most of us (I believe) would support the notion that remarriage (I'd actually go with cohabitation too, but that's just me!) would automatically cause alimony to stop but that's not set in stone unfortunately.

[Proserpina]

Dang, Tom!

I know this isn't legal help and it's not going to help you at all right now but....great googly moogly that's exactly the type of behavior and attitude (that of your exwife) that gives every other woman (and we're not all bad) on the planet a bad rap.

And while I like to think karma usually takes care of things, I do recognize that in doing so it doesn't always help you in the here and now.

Keep checking back to see if some of the more experienced folk - like LdiJ - are able to offer any suggestions. And do see an attorney; even though you are also to blame for agreeing in the first place - you're dealing with the consequences of those actions - (I have a feeling you kick yourself on a daily basis for that) - there might still be an avenue available that hasn't yet been discussed.

[tom_rob]

Dom, more of a "throw myself off a cliff" than a kick in the butt... I kid... kind of... :-) Yeah... I can't believe it's come to this... and I signed it...
Hey... thanks for the input.. really...
Tom
I honestly tried to do everything I could possibly do (financially) to help her during the divorce... I didn't think she would use it against me... and I should have been A LOT smarter putting limitations on (what I thought) was being nice...

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by tom_rob

LdiJ,

Yeah, I keep on paying it... I really thought it would be a non-issue after she was remarried; guess we had different ideas.... Obviously I have no issue with the child support, but paying the alimony to support her new husband kills me!
Thanks for the info on it being deductable, that is the one... tiny... little.. bright spot! :-)

Thanks!

Tom

It actually might be a bit more than a "tiny little bright spot". As a single person, at 40k, your marginal tax bracket would likely be 25%.

[tom_rob]

Haha! Keep the positivity flowin'!!! I need it!!!
Thanks L...
Tom

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tom_rob

No, We had an attorney draw up, and signed, a court order stating I would pay the Florida child support for my income, and $700 a month for three years ($1500 total).

I'm probably fighting an uphill battle here... but It just doesn't seem right to me.

Thanks.

Well the attorney was obviously representing her and not you.

AGREEING to pay alimony rather than have a judge order it presents all kinds of problems that you are experiencing.

When a judge orders the alimony, any statutes on the books like remarriage, cohabation etc. usually provide for legal recourse in the event those things happen.

But when you agree to pay alimony, that legal recourse usually gets thrown out the window and you must abide by the terms of the agreement.

Anyone out there thinking about AGREEING to pay alimony?? DON'T DO IT!! Force the court to order it.

[Golfball]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Anyone out there thinking about AGREEING to pay alimony?? DON'T DO IT!! Force the court to order it.

Depends. During my divorce from my X, I was offering (via agreement) to pay a piddling amount of alimony, rather than go to court (again) over it.

I was offering 4% of what she had previously petitioned a court for (that suit was thrown out), and my attorney let my X know that she was unlikely to get anything in the correct court. (The amount I was offering was less than what my attorneys fees would have been defending the suit.)

My X opted for a slightly bigger property settlement (about 2/3 of what I was offering in alimony), rather than have to deal with collecting the alimony.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Golfball

Depends. During my divorce from my X, I was offering (via agreement) to pay a piddling amount of alimony, rather than go to court (again) over it.

I was offering 4% of what she had previously petitioned a court for (that suit was thrown out), and my attorney let my X know that she was unlikely to get anything in the correct court. (The amount I was offering was less than what my attorneys fees would have been defending the suit.)

My X opted for a slightly bigger property settlement (about 2/3 of what I was offering in alimony), rather than have to deal with collecting the alimony.

That's all well and good. However, I have a problem with the concept of alimony in the first place and it's use as an effective negotiating strategy to get more marital assets or money from someone after divorce when it should not be an issue in the first place.

Then along comes our OP who ignorantly signed an agreement without knowing all the ramifications. Men are programmed by women and the system to EXPECT to pay alimony when divorced. Men should expect the opposite and let the court decide.

Eventually wive's and their lawyers will get the message that alimony will NOT be on the table and if they are seeking alimony, a judge will make the decision.