Can I get alimonty payments in NY?

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by nyclady

And to be honest, I would not have even looked for alimony, but I feel my husband has been messing around for the last 6 years...

So, it's about revenge. That's ok - but don't lie about it.

[nyclady]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Are you sure you're in NYC, or Jersey???

Yes, I am in NYC

[nyclady]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Here's the thing. If you are going to ask for alimony you're not going to be the one judging whether it's worth it or not for you to take lower-paying jobs. If this was a custody/cs case (which I know it isn't) you could well be perceived as being deliberately un- or underemployed and there's every chance a judge would have the same opinion if you filed suit for alimony.

You might have to do what millions of others have to do during/after a divorce and downsize.

Trust me, I never really spent a ton of money in the past and have significantly downsized since separation.

[nyclady]

Originally Posted by Zigner

So, it's about revenge. That's ok - but don't lie about it.

I am not lying about anything here.. I just stated the facts.

[abys32]

Originally Posted by Zigner

So, it's about revenge. That's ok - but don't lie about it.

Do you represent people whose interests do not include revenge, so to speak? Its a divorce. It got so bad that these people can't even tolerate spending time together. It is important to help a client distinguish between revenge and the law, but just because there is animosity, does not mean the lady is not entitled to some alimony.

Anyone here who would not have animosity towards their cheating spouse? Anyone who represents family law clients should probably get a dual degree in couseling because whether or not you like it, you get sucked in. It effects your ability to work with the client and affects your client's judgement.

Anyway, technically, doesn't the fact that the spouse cheated have meaning in NY? Me thinks it does. Its a criminal offense right? I am not a lawyer. I am just asking the experts to clarify.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by abys32

Do you represent people whose interests do not include revenge, so to speak? Its a divorce. It got so bad that these people can't even tolerate spending time together. It is important to help a client distinguish between revenge and the law, but just because there is animosity, does not mean the lady is not entitled to some alimony.

Anyone here who would not have animosity towards their cheating spouse? Anyone who represents family law clients should probably get a dual degree in couseling because whether or not you like it, you get sucked in. It effects your ability to work with the client and affects your client's judgement.

Anyway, technically, doesn't the fact that the spouse cheated have meaning in NY? Me thinks it does. Its a criminal offense right? I am not a lawyer. I am just asking the experts to clarify.

Please stop posting to old threads. The OP hasn't been back in 10 days...The issue was answered. You are not adding anything legally relevant. So stop.

[Proserpina]

(not meaning to flog a dead horse but....)


Sure, it's illegal in NY. But good luck actually getting it prosecuted...and even more luck would be needed to get a conviction.

NY has prosecuted maybe a dozen cases since the early 1970s, and most of them were dismissed.

But that's purely the criminal aspect.

The civil aspect is more worrisome (to the adulterer...); it can have a significant bearing in family court.

[abys32]

Originally Posted by Blue Meanie

Please stop posting to old threads. The OP hasn't been back in 10 days...The issue was answered. You are not adding anything legally relevant. So stop.

This person posted about a week ago? Is that old? I am new here, so I am sorry if I am not familiar with the workings of the free advice forum, like you seniors. If I posted something I considered important, I might go about my day and check back a week later.

In the future, if I or other unfamilair newbies break the social rules of the forum, please feel free to ignore it. It seems like you feel that my post is wasting your time. If you are working on here , I do apologize for taking your time. If not, cut the newbies some slack. You might have just pointed out that it has been a while since the person posted and that often once that happens the post is kinda pointless.

Besides, some of the attorneys might have some thoughts on their unofficial roles of counseling within the legal process. I actually knew an attorney who got a masters in counseling and used it to help clients (in divorce cases)resolve some of their differences if that possibility existed. He was also able to help them stay focused if that was needed. I know it may not be the best way to make money, but he was a really great guy. He did make plenty of money and was really well liked and respected, as well.

Also, I am still interested to know if my admittedly limited knowledge is correct and could it apply here? NY is a fault state only, I believe. Things may work a little diffently as a result.

Also, if she shows she has looked for a job and can't get one yet and becomes dependent on public assistance, couldn't the agreement get thrown out the window? Also, if what I say is true, was OP given the ALL the info needed in her best interest?

Some of what she was told is that she is a liar, and that she is is looking for a crystal ball. Not even lawyers know how things will turn out in court, but if a client came to you with a good case, you would take it, if it was unlikely to prevail you might not. That's why a client comes to a lawyer, because he/she is supposed to have the knowledge and experience to have a better idea than they do. Also, while some people may deliberately hide info, many just don't know that there is an important piece of info missing. So just ask. Your clients must tell you all the dirty details in order for you to do your jobs to the best of your ability. Lawyers are still supposed to represent them in their best interest...I think. Do some lawyers call them liars in their offices too? Some people here are so interested in Newbie etiquette. You've been around here, check yours.

I have seen some of the environmental lawyers call a spade a heart and turn a desperate situation completely over for their client. I know it is different than family law, but that is when you feel you get your money's worth. Holy cow!

[CourtClerk]

If you have your own questions, start your own thread. Otherwise, don't hijack. This thread is dead and it's likely to stay dead.

[abys32]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

(not meaning to flog a dead horse but....)


Sure, it's illegal in NY. But good luck actually getting it prosecuted...and even more luck would be needed to get a conviction.

NY has prosecuted maybe a dozen cases since the early 1970s, and most of them were dismissed.

But that's purely the criminal aspect.

The civil aspect is more worrisome (to the adulterer...); it can have a significant bearing in family court.

OK. That's good info. That law is there, but not very significant? So like what could be the civil consequence?

[abys32]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

If you have your own questions, start your own thread. Otherwise, don't hijack. This thread is dead and it's likely to stay dead.

That's fine. I thought I was responding to the topic here until someone told me not to because they believe it is dead.

I like your running quote.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by abys32

OK. That's good info. That law is there, but not very significant? So like what could be the civil consequence?

For the man adulter, he could lose all marital assets and receive all marital debt and face paying lifetime alimony.

For the woman adulter, nothing.

[abys32]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

For the man adulter, he could lose all marital assets and receive all marital debt and face paying lifetime alimony.

For the woman adulter, nothing.

Really? Did that evolve that way through case law or is it written that way?

I believe you. Am I being gullible? I don't know you personally, but with all the sarcasm around here I am concerned.

That seems like it would work out in this person's favor.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by abys32

Really? Did that evolve that way through case law or is it written that way?

I believe you. Am I being gullible? I don't know you personally, but with all the sarcasm around here I am concerned.

That seems like it would work out in this person's favor.

You have to take everything that Bali says with a grain of salt. He is very bitter about his case and often makes statements that are sarcastic in nature and not legally correct.

[abys32]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

You have to take everything that Bali says with a grain of salt. He is very bitter about his case and often makes statements that are sarcastic in nature and not legally correct.

Thanks for clarifying. Well said. (and touche I think)