Can I stop spousal support payments after losing my job?

[Lolasue99]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My husband was married for 7yrs to someone who was disabled; they have no kids together, she got the house and everything in it and a car she can not drive. When they divorced she went after him for spousal support, she got it and he pays her $1,500/mo($18,000/yr),when they were married then separated he was making $42k/yr. He is getting laid off this week and with mortgage, cars, I have one kid in community college and another getting ready to graduate H.S and was accepted into Va Tech. this fall(neither child is my husbands but when you have kids going to school they go by both your incomes). My measly income of $28k/yr will not cover her support and don't think I should have to, he is looking for employment. How successful would it be to take her back to court ask the judge to stop support and have her go back on disability which she was on before she married him?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Lolasue99

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My husband was married for 7yrs to someone who was disabled; they have no kids together, she got the house and everything in it and a car she can not drive. When they divorced she went after him for spousal support, she got it and he pays her $1,500/mo($18,000/yr),when they were married then separated he was making $42k/yr. He is getting laid off this week and with mortgage, cars, I have one kid in community college and another getting ready to graduate H.S and was accepted into Va Tech. this fall(neither child is my husbands but when you have kids going to school they go by both your incomes). My measly income of $28k/yr will not cover her support and don't think I should have to, he is looking for employment. How successful would it be to take her back to court ask the judge to stop support and have her go back on disability which she was on before she married him?

Virgina Spousal Support (Alimony) FAQ'sDocument Actions By Maddox, Cole & Miller, P.C.

Published: Jul 17, 2004

How can the amount of spousal support be changed in the future?

If spousal support is set by agreement of the parties in a Property Settlement Agreement (instead of a Judge), unless there is a provision allowing for later modification, the amount of spousal support can never be modified.

If a Judge sets a spousal support award, either side may later petition for an increase/decrease upon a showing of substantially changed circumstances. Further, a payor spouse is permitted to petition the court for termination of spousal support in cases where the recipient spouse has cohabited with another person in a relationship analogous to marriage for a year or more.

[Proserpina]

Her disability is a problem here; it might make your husband's case a little more complicated. He could (and should) petition for - at the very least - a modification if he's able to do so. What does the court order actually say?

FWIW, you're also going to be told that your children's father should be helping to support them. Your husband's prior obligations were there before you married him and though it might seem unfair to you, he's not expected - legally at least - to help support your kids. I know your income is combined, and your outgoings are also obviously combined, but that's how it will be viewed.

And you want to get your husband here too. He knows exactly what transpired, and you might not have all of the details.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Her disability is a problem here; it might make your husband's case a little more complicated. He could (and should) petition for - at the very least - a modification if he's able to do so. What does the court order actually say?

FWIW, you're also going to be told that your children's father should be helping to support them. Your husband's prior obligations were there before you married him and though it might seem unfair to you, he's not expected - legally at least - to help support your kids. I know your income is combined, and your outgoings are also obviously combined, but that's how it will be viewed.

And you want to get your husband here too. He knows exactly what transpired, and you might not have all of the details.

Her disability was pre-existing the marriage contract and therefore not a marital issue.

It would be the preference of lawmakers to sucker someone into marrying a person with a disability to keep taxes low, but do you think that's realistic??

[Proserpina]

Yeap, I know the disability was present pre-marriage; I'm just not convinced that would come into play at all.

MY thoughts on the topic aren't important (and would be so littered with expletives that that your eyes would water and your teeth would curl!); but I've seen it happen all too often where the non-disabled party is ordered to keep supporting the disabled party regardless of whether or not the disability was present prior to the marriage, and without taking into account any change of circumstances.

Is it fair? Personally, I don't think so.

But fair and legal are often two entirely different animals - you know this!

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Yeap, I know the disability was present pre-marriage; I'm just not convinced that would come into play at all.

MY thoughts on the topic aren't important (and would be so littered with expletives that that your eyes would water and your teeth would curl!); but I've seen it happen all too often where the non-disabled party is ordered to keep supporting the disabled party regardless of whether or not the disability was present prior to the marriage, and without taking into account any change of circumstances.

Is it fair? Personally, I don't think so.

But fair and legal are often two entirely different animals - you know this!

Yes, I'm aware that judges have far too much "discretionary" power. If they say black is white and white is black, that's the law!!

It's time to enact comprehensive laws relating to matrimonial issues and strip most of that discretionary power away from the idiot judges!

[Lolasue99]

I have read all of the paperwork, it was court ordered, the judge had brought it down to $500/mo until her mother stepped in and said if she only gets $500 and files for disability she would lose the house, which is not so(she also hasn't taken him off the loan and his idiot lawyer at that time had him sign a quit claim so noww he isn't on the deed but on the loan. My husband doesn't support my kids BUT when they turn 18 and off to college even FASFA says our combined income come into play on how much WE pay and no my EX would not pay one dime to educate the kids. The divorce paperwork states that she has to try and get Social Security disability/medicaid but that she doesn't qualify making $1500/mo. If he doesn't have a job now shouldn't the support stop and make her gett SSI to benefit herself. In all this she and her family has said they would rather get $1500/mo from him and make his life miserable than get $1450/mo from SSI. It doesn't matter either way she isn't getting her payment this month my mortgage is more important than supporting her and her sister who now lives with her.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Lolasue99

I have read all of the paperwork, it was court ordered, the judge had brought it down to $500/mo until her mother stepped in and said if she only gets $500 and files for disability she would lose the house, which is not so(she also hasn't taken him off the loan and his idiot lawyer at that time had him sign a quit claim so noww he isn't on the deed but on the loan. My husband doesn't support my kids BUT when they turn 18 and off to college even FASFA says our combined income come into play on how much WE pay and no my EX would not pay one dime to educate the kids. The divorce paperwork states that she has to try and get Social Security disability/medicaid but that she doesn't qualify making $1500/mo. If he doesn't have a job now shouldn't the support stop and make her gett SSI to benefit herself. In all this she and her family has said they would rather get $1500/mo from him and make his life miserable than get $1450/mo from SSI.

And that's the most believable statement I've read on here today!

It doesn't matter either way she isn't getting her payment this month my mortgage is more important than supporting her and her sister who now lives with her.

Your husband needs to file for a modification.

See an attorney.

[Proserpina]

I understand you're frustrated.

But unless that court order is changed, your husband can/will be held in contempt if he doesn't pay his support this month.

SSI is based on income so no, she wouldn't qualify - but if she has worked enough quarters, she will still (assuming she is considered disabled) generally qualify for SSDI. The two are different and it might be a very important difference.

[Lolasue99]

We really can't afford one we are going to try to do it ourselves, seeing we dont have the money or find someone who will let us make payments, we have always said we would rather pay a lawyer than pay her, my husband has been paying this since 2000, thats longer than they have been married. She was born with this disability to me its so unfair to make him pay so much money to someone who was on disability before they were married. Just hoping her family doesn't do something to our cars or my little house like they did to him and his mom and dad when they first was separated.

[Proserpina]

If they damage any property you call the police and have them take care of it.

Believe me, we do understand your frustration. But the court order isn't a suggestion - it must be followed until and unless it's modified.

She might not file for contempt, but she might, and that's a position your husband really wants to avoid.

[Lolasue99]

He will be laid off as of Friday I told him Monday we need to file a motion to modify/stop spousal support. He agreed. I told him better to do it now than later, better for us to step up and file than her find out before we/he files.

[Proserpina]

Good stuff.

Again there's no guarantee that he'll be able to have the order modified but he has to at least try.

[MominCarolina]

Originally Posted by Lolasue99

My husband doesn't support my kids BUT when they turn 18 and off to college even FASFA says our combined income come into play on how much WE pay

Even if he is still paying alimony by the time you are filling out the FAFSA forms, alimony paid out is NOT considered income.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by MominCarolina

Even if he is still paying alimony by the time you are filling out the FAFSA forms, alimony paid out is NOT considered income.

Correct...alimony paid out should not be included as income on the FAFSA forms.