Can she receive spousal support and ins benefits?

[concernedinmo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My friend has been married for 8 years. She’s left her husband due to what she believes to be an alcoholism and drug (marijuana) problem (he has yet to seek help) on the part of her spouse. The spouse refused to leave the house so she got a very cheap apartment and moved out because she’s completely finished. She works part time, barely enough to cover rent, and is working feverishly to find full-time employment so she can have her own health insurance benefits (although full-time work is scarce these days).

They have two daughters, an 8 year old and a 16 year old (her spouse adopted the 16 year old approximately 7 years ago). My friend goes to the house every day to be with the girls after school and on Tuesday and Thursday mornings my friend goes to the house to get her youngest on the bus for school. They have their 8 year old in a latchkey before school program on Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays (the days my friend works). They have yet to work out a custody arrangement or visitation schedule. My friend hasn’t been able to file for the divorce yet due to financial reasons and her fear of not having health insurance (because she does not having full-time employment yet).

The spouse’s mother purchased the home for approximately $90,000 for them 8 years ago and the house is only in her spouse’s name. Most of the furniture in the house belongs to my friend who brought it with her into the marriage and her sister gave to her to help furnish the house. They have a $50,000 home equity loan on the house and have credit card debt of approximately $10,000. They purchased a new Honda vehicle in 2008 that the spouse will retain and assume full responsibility for the loan.

I believe the spouse has a 401K and my friend does not. I doubt she's interested in fighting for his 401k, however, I do think it's important for her to know what her rights are. At the request of the spouse, she stopped working full-time shortly after they married (she got pregnant and they decided to marry 6mth later) to stay home and be a full-time mother until their youngest daughter started school. Then she began working part time.

My friend makes mere $10/hour and works 20 hrs/week. She applies for jobs daily looking for full-time work.

Because she’s limited on funds, she feels she’s stuck and cannot get any legal advice on what her rights are related to how the divorce process works, what the costs would be, what she’s entitled to (custody of children, child support, spousal support, any entitlement to 401K, etc) and the particulars.

I believe the spouse makes approximately $40,000-$45,000/year (but I'm not certain).
Is she entitled to spousal support for a limited amount of time? Is she entitled to any of her husband’s 401K? Can the courts order him to cover her on his insurance for a period of time as part of the spousal support?
Can you offer any suggestions on where she should/could go for legal assistance in getting her divorce going/finalized?

Any advice/suggestions would be extremely helpful! Thank you for your help!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My friend has been married for 8 years. She’s left her husband due to what she believes to be an alcoholism and drug (marijuana) problem (he has yet to seek help) on the part of her spouse. The spouse refused to leave the house so she got a very cheap apartment and moved out because she’s completely finished. She works part time, barely enough to cover rent, and is working feverishly to find full-time employment so she can have her own health insurance benefits (although full-time work is scarce these days).

They have two daughters, an 8 year old and a 16 year old (her spouse adopted the 16 year old approximately 7 years ago). My friend goes to the house every day to be with the girls after school and on Tuesday and Thursday mornings my friend goes to the house to get her youngest on the bus for school. They have their 8 year old in a latchkey before school program on Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays (the days my friend works). They have yet to work out a custody arrangement or visitation schedule.

Your friend is done and LEFT the children with someone she considers an alcoholic and drug abuser? That was a major mistake.

My friend hasn’t been able to file for the divorce yet due to financial reasons and her fear of not having health insurance (because she does not having full-time employment yet).

Oh but it is okay that the childrne are still living with the man she didn't think was worthy?

The spouse’s mother purchased the home for approximately $90,000 for them 8 years ago and the house is only in her spouse’s name. Most of the furniture in the house belongs to my friend who brought it with her into the marriage and her sister gave to her to help furnish the house. They have a $50,000 home equity loan on the house and have credit card debt of approximately $10,000. They purchased a new Honda vehicle in 2008 that the spouse will retain and assume full responsibility for the loan.

Both are marital property.
Your friend should really be posting here however.

I believe the spouse has a 401K and my friend does not. I doubt she's interested in fighting for his 401k, however, I do think it's important for her to know what her rights are. At the request of the spouse, she stopped working full-time shortly after they married (she got pregnant and they decided to marry 6mth later) to stay home and be a full-time mother until their youngest daughter started school. Then she began working part time.

And? She could have worked at any time. SHE CHOSE TO QUIT working and she is now working. She may get spousal support but she will also be responsible for paying child support based strictly on what you have stated here.

My friend makes mere $10/hour and works 20 hrs/week. She applies for jobs daily looking for full-time work.

A mere $10 an hour will be imputed to her for 40 hours a week,

Because she’s limited on funds, she feels she’s stuck and cannot get any legal advice on what her rights are related to how the divorce process works, what the costs would be, what she’s entitled to (custody of children, child support, spousal support, any entitlement to 401K, etc) and the particulars.

How do you figure she is entitled to child support? The children live primarily with dad.

I believe the spouse makes approximately $40,000-$45,000/year (but I'm not certain).

How is that your business?

Is she entitled to spousal support for a limited amount of time?

She might be awarded some.

Is she entitled to any of her husband’s 401K?

Half of the marital portion.

Can the courts order him to cover her on his insurance for a period of time as part of the spousal support?

No.

Can you offer any suggestions on where she should/could go for legal assistance in getting her divorce going/finalized?

Legal aid.

Any advice/suggestions would be extremely helpful! Thank you for your help!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

She can look at being ordered to pay child support for two children during the pendency of the divorce.

 

[concernedinmo]

SHE MOVED INTO AN APT A MILE AWAY THAT SHE CAN AFFORD SO SHE COULD STILL "BE THERE" FOR HER GIRLS ON A DAILY BASIS. SHES THERE DAILY AND TAKES THE GIRLS TO STAY WITH HER ON A REGULAR BASIS AT THE APT BUT KNOWS SHE CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE HER GIRLS WITH HER WITH HER FULL-TIME AT HER APT (SHE CAN BARELY AFFORD RENT AND THE GUY REFUSES TO LEAVE THE HOUSE WHEN SHE ASKED HIM TO). THE HUSBAND STOPPED DRINKING WHEN SHE LEFT - SHE'S FINISHED WITH THE MARRIAGE AND TIRED OF THE "JUST ONE MORE TRY" BS. HE WOULDN'T STOP DRINKING WHILE SHE WAS LIVING THERE SO SHE LEFT. SHE KNEW HE WOULD BUTS IS "DONE" WITH WITH THE GUY. ITS IRRECONCILIABLE ACCORDING TO HER!

ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE MY G/F SHOULD BE WRITING HERE HERSELF. BELIEVE IT OR NOT MANY WOMEN ARE SCARED AND WORRIED ABOUT WHAT TO DO. THEY DONT KNOW WHAT TO ASK OR WHO TO ASK.


HOW CAN "SHE" PAY CHILD SUPPORT WHEN SHE CANNOT EVEN FIND A FULL-TIME JOB AND BARELY PAY HER RENT. SHE WANTS FULL CUSTODY OF HER GIRLS BECAUSE SHES BEEN THE PRIMARY CARE GIVER FOR THE ENTIRE 8 YEARS OF THE MARRIAGE. THE "ONLY" REASON SHES LEFT THEM AT THE HOUSE IS BECAUSE OF HER CONCERN OF NOT BEING ABLE TO FEED THEM AND HERSELF AT THE APT. WHERE IS A WOMAN TO GO WITH HER CHILDREN AND WHATS SHE TO DO WHEN SHE HAS LIMITED SUPPORT AND LITTLE MONEY? HOW DOES SHE QUALIFY FOR ANY KIND OF AID WHEN SHE'S STILL LEGALLY MARRIED AND HAS TO CLAIM HIS INCOME WHEN REQUESTING AID. SORRY, BUT WOMEN DONT JUST "CHOOSE" NOT TO WORK ALL THE TIME! SOMETIMES ITS MORE ECONOMICAL ON THE FAMILY FOR THE WOMAN TO STAY HOME WITH HER CHILDREN THEN TO PAY TO HAVE THEM PUT IN BEFORE AND AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAMS THROUGH THEIR SCHOOL DISTRICT OR PRIVATE DAY CARE. IF SHE HAD TO PAY FOR DAYCARE, SHE'D BE IN THE RED WORKING WITH THE PRICE OF DAYCARE AND WOULDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO AFFORD AN APT AT ALL.





A mere $10 an hour will be imputed to her for 40 hours a week,
???? SORRY, PLEASE EXPLAIN



How do you figure she is entitled to child support? The children live primarily with dad.
THE CHILDREN ARE THERE A FEW NIGHTS A WEEK AND WITH HER A FEW NIGHTS A WEEK. SHES GOING TO SEEK PRIMARY CUSTODY OR JOINT LEGAL AND PHYSICAL CUSTODY. JUST A NOTE; SHE'S AT THAT HOUSE EVERY SINGLE MORNING. BEFORE SHE GOES TO WORK, SHE'S THERE TO CARE FOR THEM AND GET THEM READY FOR SCHOOL AND DROP THEM BOTH OFF AT SCHOOL BEFORE SHE GOES TO WORK. ON HER DAYS OFF, SHE'S AT THE HOUSE IN THE MORNINGS TO CARE FOR THEM, GET THEM READY, AND GET THE YOUNGEST ONE ON THE BUS. SHE IS THERE AFTER SCHOOL TO GET THEM. HOW CAN YOU SAY SHE'S LEFT THE KIDS AND THE CHILDREN PRIMARILY ARE LIVING WITH THE DAD? NO ONE SAID HE'S A DEADBEAT. HE'S A HIGH FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC THAT REFUSES TO ADMIT HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE SMOKED POT ON A REGULAR BASIS WITH HIS FRIENDS.
NO ONE IS JUDGING EITHER OF THE PARENTS OF WORTHINESS OF CUSTODY. ITS NOT A MATTER OF WHO IS WORTHY. ITS NOT A MATTER OF LIFESTYLE CHOICE, CAREER CHOICE, EDUCATION, OR FINANCIAL STATUS. ITS A MATTER OF WHO HAS BEEN THE PRIMARY CARE GIVER MOST OF THE CHILDREN'S LIVES; RIGHT? THAT'S THE MOTHER AND CONTINUES TO "BE" THE MOTHER EVEN WHEN SHES NOT LIVING AT THE HOUSE.

WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING? SHE ASKED HIM TO LEAVE AND HE WOULDN'T. HIS MOTHER BOUGHT THE HOUSE AND ITS BASICALLY HIS HOUSE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PUT HER NAME ON IT WHEN THEY MARRIED. HE STOPPED DRINKING (BUT REFUSES TO ADMIT HE HAS A PROBLEM) WHEN SHE LEFT AND SHE SAID SHE'S FINISHED. ID BE FINISHED AFTER 8 YEARS OF PUTTING UP WITH THAT AS WELL.

THIS IS JUST A FORUM WHERE THERE'S LIMITED INFORMATION. DON'T PLACE JUDGEMENT ON PEOPLE WHEN YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF ALL THE FACTS. MAYBE HE'S A DECENT GUY BECAUSE HE GOES TO WORK EVERY DAY AND BRINGS IN A PAYCHECK TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY. HOWEVER, DOES THAT MAKE IT OKAY TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH SOMEONE BEING ANGRY ALMOST DAILY WHEN THEY GOT HOME FROM WORK (THAT IS "WHEN" - NOT KNOWING FROM DAY TO DAY WHAT TIME THAT WAS GOING TO BE - HOWEVER, NOW THAT SHE'S LEFT HIM HE SUDDENLY IS ABLE TO LEAVE THE OFFICE PRETTY CONSISTELY AT THE SAME TIME AND CAN GET HOME AT A DECENT HOUR EVERY DAY). HIS BEST DAYS ARE ON WEEKENDS WHEN HE WOULD GO OUT WITH HIS BUDDIES, DRINK TO THEY ARE OBLIVIOUSLY DRUNK AND STONED WHILE SHE WAS HOME. HE MADE SURE HE'D LEAVE AFTER HIS CHILDREN WERE IN BED - SO THAT MADE IT OKAY. RELIGIOUSLY, EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT - NURSING HANGOVERS EVERY WEEKEND. WOULD YOU SUGGEST THAT BECAUSE HE'S NOT PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE SHE SHOULD CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THIS ENVIRONMENT?
EXPLAIN "HOW" A WOMAN WHO HAS NO PROFESSIONAL SKILL OR FORMAL EDUCATION GO OUT AND MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT HERSELF LET ALONE HER CHILDREN. SHE "NEEDED" TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR SANITY SAKE ALONE AND MADE A WISE CHOICE BY STAYING AS CLOSE AS SHE COULD AND FINDING SOMETHING WITHIN HER PRICE RANGE.
JUST BECAUSE THE GUY QUIT DRINKING WHEN SHE LEFT DOESN'T MEAN SHE SHOULD JUST SAY ALL IS WELL. THERE'S A POINT WHEN PEOPLE WHO LIVE WITH ALCOHOLICS GET FED UP AND MOVE ON - EVEN WHILE THEY ARE STILL MARRIED. THEY BECOME NUMB AND SICK OF THE ILLNESS. SHE'S NOT PERFECT AND TAKES RESPONSIBILITIES FOR WHATEVER MISTAKES SHES MADE IN THE MARRIAGE HOWEVER, THE HUSBAND STILL REFUSES TO BELIEVE HE HAS A PROBLEM AT ALL. HE HASN'T FIGURED OUT ONCE AN ADDICT, ALWAYS AN ADDICT.
I FIND THIS WOMAN QUITE COURAGEOUS AND BRAVE. SHE'S DOING WHAT SHE CAN TO CONTINUE TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN ON A DAILY BASIS AND ITS SAD SHE'S DAMNED IF SHE DOES AND DAMNED IF SHE DOESN'T WORK - LORD KNOWS HER HUSBAND WASN'T GOING TO CHANGE OR MAKE ANY ADJUSTMENTS TO HELP. IT HAD TO TAKE HER LEAVING FOR THIS GUY TO FINALLY WAKE UP AND STOP THE BEHAVIOR (SO WE THINK - HE COULD STILL BE DRINKING WHILE SHE HAS THEM STAYING WITH HER AT THE APT). LIKE MANY WOMEN THAT COME TO THIS, SHE'S PAST THE POINT OF RETURN.




How is that your business?
MAYBE IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS. HOWEVER, I WROTE HERE TO FIND HELP FOR MY CLOSEST FRIEND. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO WHEN THEY ARE HELPING THERE FRIENDS. I'M A TRUSTED FRIEND. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE BRAVE AND STRONG ENOUGH TO ASK QUESTIONS. NOT ALL WOMEN KNOW WHAT QUESTIONS "TO" ASK. I THOUGHT THE FORUM ENCOURAGED QUESTIONS.

 

[ShyCat]

Please stop SHOUTING. Typing in all caps may be easier for you but it is much harder for everyone else. On the internet, it is considered to be the same as SHOUTING and very rude. I suggest you edit your post to use appropriate capitalization, punctuation, etc. To do otherwise is quite inconsiderate of the people you are asking for help.

 

[concernedinmo]

My apologies... the "all caps" was not intentional... the keyboard on the computer I was using to type that is less than adequate and the caps lock gets "stuck"...
My sincerest apologies...

 

[stealth2]

Having been in a somewhat similar situation, what one does is plan ahead and not leave until there is a plan in place to take the kids with or file to have the other spouse removed. What your friend has done is state implicitly to the court that Dad is fit to care for the children, whether she goes over every morning or not. That was a bad move.

ETA - if she can't find a F/T job, perhaps she should get a 2nd P/T one. At least her finances will be in a better place.

And it really would be best if she posted here herself. You don't know even half the story.