Child Support and Alimony

[cebuana]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I am married for almost two years and im going to have a baby soon but all i want to know if the baby will be in my hands, for all that i want. The last few days we've been fighting with my husband for he doesnt give too much time being with me or even attention. I love my husband so much. I understand about his job being a pilot and he's always away but everytime he goes home he never even show how much he cares about me, he has an ongoing court thing too with his sister about the guardianship of his parents and he always with his computer, if not with all the paperworks for the court thing, or going to his sister's house and work that things out. I've been telling him a couple times about attention and giving love to me but he always tells me that i cant live with me then dissolution is the only solution. Im scared because i love him so much and i dont want the baby to know that he doesnt have a complete parents. I want a good family , live in a house happily.
One other thing too, i snoop on my husband's pc and he always join dating sites, is that normal? he is married to me.
please give an advice

[Dogmatique]

Hon, you need a support site; this site is for legal advice.

Did you have a legal question?

[cebuana]

yes i need a legal question like child support and alimony, child custody and more..

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by cebuana

yes i need a legal question like child support and alimony, child custody and more..

Are you a citizen? If not did your husband sponsor you?

[cebuana]

No i am not a citizen yet, i am still a green card holder.

Originally Posted by Blue Meanie

Are you a citizen? If not did your husband sponsor you?

[cebuana]

all i wanna know if the baby will be in my custody, that's all that matters to me..

[CourtClerk]

The baby will most likely be in the custody of BOTH of his parents, just like it should be.

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by cebuana

No i am not a citizen yet, i am still a green card holder.

OP, you need to speak with an attorney.

Because you are a green-card holder this might complicate things a little; but basically your husband and you both currently have equal rights to your child.

Please turn on your PM function; I have a couple of immigrant-specific resources which might be able to help you further in understanding the legal processes of custody, divorce, child support and/or spousal support in the US.

But very simply, you both have equal rights to your child, and there is never a guarantee as to who will have physical custody.

[cebuana]

yeah i thought about it too since i am still a GC holder. I cant afford a lawyer right now that is why i am asking and join this forum to be able to get some advices and tips. I know that we can have both right for the child, but all i wanna make sure is the child is to be with me and will live with me when the divorce is on processing or done. I wanna know what are the things that i need to do, im scared too because my husband earns more money than i do. He can afford to get a good place for the child but not me. And i have found out too that my husband join some dating sites, can i bring that over to the court? and he is such a big liar though, see, last week we never had communication for like four days , he never called me. I don't call him everyday too if he is at work coz he already reminds me that his job is tough and really hard so i understand, so i asked him one day, we're you really busy those last few days and he said no not really, then i ask him even to give me a call for a minute to say your fine you can't do it and he was like, i cant find coverage etc. So i check the online site for me and my husband network like verizon, he made phone calls on those days to anybody for like until 11pm.. i just dont like if he lied to me. i told him that even before but he is such a big liar which i cant stand!

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

OP, you need to speak with an attorney.

Because you are a green-card holder this might complicate things a little; but basically your husband and you both currently have equal rights to your child.

Please turn on your PM function; I have a couple of immigrant-specific resources which might be able to help you further in understanding the legal processes of custody, divorce, child support and/or spousal support in the US.

But very simply, you both have equal rights to your child, and there is never a guarantee as to who will have physical custody.

[Dogmatique]

First things first.

You NEED legal help.

This is a site with Ohio legal aid links [url=http://www.olaf.org/aboutolaf/ohiolegalaidsystem.shtml]OLAF | Ohio Legal Aid System[/url] <--- click and call around to find low/no-income legal help.

Now, him lying to you isn't going to make much difference at all, if any. Lying to your spouse isn't generally a big deal; I don't believe him joining dating sites will hurt much with custody either (though OhioGAL will know much more - she is an Ohio attorney and GAL). It's tacky, yes, but again not illegal.

More importantly though, you need to be able to answer this question:

Why should the child remain with you? Why can't Dad have primary custody?

Please understand I'm not being mean or argumentative - but if Dad fights you on this you'll have to show why being with you is best for the child.

Can you do that?

While it's very unlikely that a newborn will be removed from his/her mother the longer term custody arrangements are pretty much anybody's guess at this point.

[cebuana]

well, for me the child should be with me because i can takes care of the baby than my husband esp of the kind of job he is right now. His dad is not responsible enough to takes care of the baby, he doesnt even know what are the baby stuff that needs to get, he never tried to make a search what are the needs for the baby. He always said " i have no idea and i never had a baby before neither married before, so all your decision"...
Although he makes more money than i do,but i feel i am responsible enough for the baby.

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

First things first.

You NEED legal help.

This is a site with Ohio legal aid links [url=http://www.olaf.org/aboutolaf/ohiolegalaidsystem.shtml]OLAF | Ohio Legal Aid System[/url] <--- click and call around to find low/no-income legal help.

Now, him lying to you isn't going to make much difference at all, if any. Lying to your spouse isn't generally a big deal; I don't believe him joining dating sites will hurt much with custody either (though OhioGAL will know much more - she is an Ohio attorney and GAL). It's tacky, yes, but again not illegal.

More importantly though, you need to be able to answer this question:

Why should the child remain with you? Why can't Dad have primary custody?

Please understand I'm not being mean or argumentative - but if Dad fights you on this you'll have to show why being with you is best for the child.

Can you do that?

While it's very unlikely that a newborn will be removed from his/her mother the longer term custody arrangements are pretty much anybody's guess at this point.

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by cebuana

well, for me the child should be with me because i can takes care of the baby than my husband esp of the kind of job he is right now. His dad is not responsible enough to takes care of the baby, he doesnt even know what are the baby stuff that needs to get, he never tried to make a search what are the needs for the baby. He always said " i have no idea and i never had a baby before neither married before, so all your decision"...
Although he makes more money than i do,but i feel i am responsible enough for the baby.

Like I said, you do need to speak with an attorney.

It's unlikely that a newborn would be removed from your care, but you haven't shown any reason why Dad wouldn't eventually get the very least joint legal custody, and possibly joint physical (perhaps even full physical) custody. I know you feel that you are more prepared for a baby, but that's something that Dad can learn very very quickly and generally won't be held against him.

What kind of work does Dad do?

Why isn't Dad responsible enough?

What makes you more responsible?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Like I said, you do need to speak with an attorney.

It's unlikely that a newborn would be removed from your care, but you haven't shown any reason why Dad wouldn't eventually get the very least joint legal custody, and possibly joint physical (perhaps even full physical) custody. I know you feel that you are more prepared for a baby, but that's something that Dad can learn very very quickly and generally won't be held against him.

What kind of work does Dad do?

Why isn't Dad responsible enough?

What makes you more responsible?

The couple is married. Why would the baby be removed from dad's care and NOT mom's care? That happens in a divorce. The baby will spend time with BOTH parents. As for what makes her more responsible -- she has the uterus. She carried and gave birth to the baby.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

The couple is married. Why would the baby be removed from dad's care and NOT mom's care? That happens in a divorce. The baby will spend time with BOTH parents. As for what makes her more responsible -- she has the uterus. She carried and gave birth to the baby.

let me know when we can trade that honor.

[Dogmatique]

Because she hasn't given birth yet, is it likely that the newborn would reside with Dad and not Mom, assuming Mom isn't declared unfit?

I know OP is probably running with the assumption that carrying/birthing child = more rights than Dad (initially if nothing else), but I think I might be having difficulty actually getting it across that giving birth does not automatically make her primary custodian or give her any greater rights to the child than Dad.

Maybe that's how I should've phrased it ...

OP, giving birth to the baby does NOT give you more rights than Dad or automatically make you more suitable to care for the baby. K?