Child Support, Need Child SSN

[chesspupil]

What is the name of your state? Georgia, but North Carolina is where the Child Support judgement was initailly started.

My friend has child from a woman he met when he was just starting out in the military. The boy is 10 now. He pays 600$ a month in support for the child, but the SSN has been provided by the mother and where exactly she is living is in question. He has NEVER received a picture of him nor any visitation. He is married now and has 3 children with his wife. (this 600 was never figured or adjusted in the original court order.)

The 600$ seems steep, but the woman at the time said she was working 2 jobs and needed day and night day care. He has not wanted to address the other miriad of issues involved with starting a relationship with the boy, and is punishing himself with the 600$ monthly loss.

Through friends and coworkers a few years ago the mother of the 10 yr old had only 1 job and is remairried. Other intentions of the family are unknown.

Not wanting to have his career impacted with letters to his boss about diliquent child support payments and having little other funds to have an attonery take care of this business, he has decided to continue to make the payments, he takes full responsibility for the child.

His present wife is continually frustrated that he is letting the $600 go when his 3 other children deserve a piece of the $ and that annual tax returns have never included the child. He could also have his health insurance cover some of the 10yrs olds needs if he had the SSN.

I have encourage him to notify his boss about his intentions and possilby do this:

Stop payments. I'm sure that the mother of the child will take notice after missing the 1st or second months payments. Second option is to find a fair schedule of what he would be paying now figuring extra children and reduce the payment accordingly.

This way he could find out where the child is, the SSN for taxes, and possibly find an intrest in a relaionship.

Where does my friend stand with his rights to having the childs SSN for medical care and tax purposes.

Can he post a notification in a few newspapers to serve as proof that he is trying to contact the mother of the 10yr old befor withdawing the $ be done?

Can he have the last decree canceld and refile in another state figuring in his new children. For all he truly knows the child could be dead and the mother is simply collecting on her grief. What LEGAL rights does he have to know the child's SSN and how can he amend tax returns to collect lost income.

[IrishLady47]

What is the name of your state? Georgia, but North Carolina is where the Child Support judgement was initailly started.

My friend has child from a woman he met when he was just starting out in the military. The boy is 10 now. He pays 600$ a month in support for the child, but the SSN has been provided by the mother and where exactly she is living is in question. He has NEVER received a picture of him nor any visitation. He is married now and has 3 children with his wife. (this 600 was never figured or adjusted in the original court order.)

The 600$ seems steep, but the woman at the time said she was working 2 jobs and needed day and night day care. He has not wanted to address the other miriad of issues involved with starting a relationship with the boy, and is punishing himself with the 600$ monthly loss.

If paternity was legally established and a court order issued, your friend (if not married at the time) became eligible for military housing allowances at the with dependent rate and this probably had something to do with the amount of support set. It is entirely his own fault that he has not pursued a relationship with his son. And, that has nothing to do with the financial support ordered.

Through friends and coworkers a few years ago the mother of the 10 yr old had only 1 job and is remairried. Other intentions of the family are unknown.

That has nothing to do with HIS share of supporting HIS son.

Not wanting to have his career impacted with letters to his boss about diliquent child support payments and having little other funds to have an attonery take care of this business, he has decided to continue to make the payments, he takes full responsibility for the child.

No, he has never taken FULL responsibility for the child or he would be seeing him and parenting him.

His present wife is continually frustrated that he is letting the $600 go when his 3 other children deserve a piece of the $ and that annual tax returns have never included the child. He could also have his health insurance cover some of the 10yrs olds needs if he had the SSN.

Either he lied or didn't tell her, otherwise his present wife knew he had another child to support before they had 3 more.

I have encourage him to notify his boss about his intentions and possilby do this:

Stop payments. I'm sure that the mother of the child will take notice after missing the 1st or second months payments. Second option is to find a fair schedule of what he would be paying now figuring extra children and reduce the payment accordingly.

Is he still in the military? If so, and he just stops payment on a valid court order, he will be in violation of the UCMJ and subject to punitive action from the military.

This way he could find out where the child is, the SSN for taxes, and possibly find an intrest in a relaionship.

He can find that out w/o stopping support.

Where does my friend stand with his rights to having the childs SSN for medical care and tax purposes.

If he has a birth certificate or other legal documents showing he is the father, he can have his son entered into DEERS and his son will be covered by the military health care system (TRICARE).

Can he post a notification in a few newspapers to serve as proof that he is trying to contact the mother of the 10yr old befor withdawing the $ be done?

Can he have the last decree canceld and refile in another state figuring in his new children. For all he truly knows the child could be dead and the mother is simply collecting on her grief. What LEGAL rights does he have to know the child's SSN and how can he amend tax returns to collect lost income.

He needs to contact an attorney about filing a modification to the original court order. I do not know if it will have to be done where originally ordered or if venue can be changed. Hopefully, another poster on this forum can address this issue. He will NOT be able to go back retroactively and claim this child on his taxes. He may request this issue be addressed in any NEW court order.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by chesspupil

What is the name of your state? Georgia, but North Carolina is where the Child Support judgement was initailly started.

My friend has child from a woman he met when he was just starting out in the military. The boy is 10 now. He pays 600$ a month in support for the child, but the SSN has been provided by the mother and where exactly she is living is in question. He has NEVER received a picture of him nor any visitation. He is married now and has 3 children with his wife. (this 600 was never figured or adjusted in the original court order.)

The 600$ seems steep, but the woman at the time said she was working 2 jobs and needed day and night day care. He has not wanted to address the other miriad of issues involved with starting a relationship with the boy, and is punishing himself with the 600$ monthly loss.

Through friends and coworkers a few years ago the mother of the 10 yr old had only 1 job and is remairried. Other intentions of the family are unknown.

Not wanting to have his career impacted with letters to his boss about diliquent child support payments and having little other funds to have an attonery take care of this business, he has decided to continue to make the payments, he takes full responsibility for the child.

His present wife is continually frustrated that he is letting the $600 go when his 3 other children deserve a piece of the $ and that annual tax returns have never included the child. He could also have his health insurance cover some of the 10yrs olds needs if he had the SSN.

I have encourage him to notify his boss about his intentions and possilby do this:

Stop payments. I'm sure that the mother of the child will take notice after missing the 1st or second months payments. Second option is to find a fair schedule of what he would be paying now figuring extra children and reduce the payment accordingly.

This way he could find out where the child is, the SSN for taxes, and possibly find an intrest in a relaionship.

Where does my friend stand with his rights to having the childs SSN for medical care and tax purposes.

Can he post a notification in a few newspapers to serve as proof that he is trying to contact the mother of the 10yr old befor withdawing the $ be done?

Can he have the last decree canceld and refile in another state figuring in his new children. For all he truly knows the child could be dead and the mother is simply collecting on her grief. What LEGAL rights does he have to know the child's SSN and how can he amend tax returns to collect lost income.

The advice you are giving your friend is some of the worse advice I have ever heard.

If he stops making his court ordered child support payments then he is subject to possibly severe penalties for being in contempt of court. The penalties can be even worse for someone in the military. What's more, he will still owe the money, and will end up having to pay it back, with interest.

If the child support amount was set 10 years ago, and his income has increased during that period of time, then if he were to take the case back to court, it possible that he could end up with an increase rather than a decrease. Child support is based on income...and most people's incomes increase over time rather than decrease. If he is still in the military then his income has definitely increased.

He absolutely positively is not entitled to any tax exemption for the child. Unless a judge specifically makes court orders that parents must alternate the exemption, or that he should receive the exemption, the tax regs rule.
The tax regs are specific on the issue that the exemption belongs to the custodial parent. Therefore he needs to completely forget the idea of amending his tax returns......and he will only get in serious trouble with the IRS if he attempts to take any future tax exemptions for the child without a court order allowing him to do so.

Obviously the child has medical coverage through the child's mother, otherwise the CS agency would have required him to cover the child under his coverage. Therefore, apparently the child's needs are being met in that respect.

Your friend could certainly attempt to track the mother down and establish visitation rights......and he should be encouraged to do so. The child certainly deserves to know his paternal family....and all the kids deserve to know all of their siblings.

However, you really need to stop giving him advice....because the kind of advice you are giving is only going to get him in serious trouble.

[chesspupil]

My friend has tried on a couple of occasions to reach is son, but the mother reamins completely elusive. Paternity has never been in question.

It is my understanding that when you pay child support, your income is deducted and added to the other persons... or is that specific to alimony only?

I understand a child can only be claimed on 1 tax-return, but is child-support just lost income for him?

You bring up a great point that his increase in salary could mean exta payments form him.. but with having 3 kids from another marriage isn't that figured in as well? Meaning that his income may have come close to trippling in 10 years, but now he has 4 kids.

His new wife did know about all this at the beginning of their time together.

He has no birth certificate from his son... can he ask the state for a copy of it with out a SSN or current address for the child?

The mother of the 1st child refuses to cooperate or anser any calls... IF in fact she is being reached.

The mother does not care to have the DEERS coverage or the insurance. But it seems that childsupport should not be payable without some sort of visitation... he hasn't been abusive to his current wife of 8 yrs and I see no reason to think otherwise of his past.

[Neal1421]

Originally Posted by chesspupil

My friend has tried on a couple of occasions to reach is son, but the mother reamins completely elusive. Paternity has never been in question.

It is my understanding that when you pay child support, your income is deducted and added to the other persons... or is that specific to alimony only?

I understand a child can only be claimed on 1 tax-return, but is child-support just lost income for him?

In a nutshell, yes.


You bring up a great point that his increase in salary could mean exta payments form him.. but with having 3 kids from another marriage isn't that figured in as well? Meaning that his income may have come close to trippling in 10 years, but now he has 4 kids.

Georgia does not take into account subsequent children, so no that wouldn't be figured into the equation.

His new wife did know about all this at the beginning of their time together.

He has no birth certificate from his son... can he ask the state for a copy of it with out a SSN or current address for the child?

The mother of the 1st child refuses to cooperate or anser any calls... IF in fact she is being reached.


The mother does not care to have the DEERS coverage or the insurance. But it seems that childsupport should not be payable without some sort of visitation... he hasn't been abusive to his current wife of 8 yrs and I see no reason to think otherwise of his past.

The courts do not automatically award visitation with child support, they are two separate issues. He needs to petition the court for visitation with the child. Without an order in place for visitation, she does not have to let him see the child.

[ceara19]

OP - Your "friend" really has no excuse. It NOT a matter of him not being ABLE to find mom, it's a matter of not WANTING to, so that he could win by default. If he really wants to go to court and try and modify the order, he doesn't need to try and locate her. The child support that he is paying is going SOMEWHERE and I bet that's where he could find mom.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by chesspupil

My friend has tried on a couple of occasions to reach is son, but the mother reamins completely elusive. Paternity has never been in question.

It is my understanding that when you pay child support, your income is deducted and added to the other persons... or is that specific to alimony only?

I understand a child can only be claimed on 1 tax-return, but is child-support just lost income for him?

You bring up a great point that his increase in salary could mean exta payments form him.. but with having 3 kids from another marriage isn't that figured in as well? Meaning that his income may have come close to trippling in 10 years, but now he has 4 kids.

His new wife did know about all this at the beginning of their time together.

He has no birth certificate from his son... can he ask the state for a copy of it with out a SSN or current address for the child?

The mother of the 1st child refuses to cooperate or anser any calls... IF in fact she is being reached.

The mother does not care to have the DEERS coverage or the insurance. But it seems that childsupport should not be payable without some sort of visitation... he hasn't been abusive to his current wife of 8 yrs and I see no reason to think otherwise of his past.

No, you are not misunderstood, you are completely misunderstanding how the law works.

No, child support is not deducted from his income and added to mom's. Only alimony is tax deductible.

All parents support their children with "after tax" income. Whether the children live with them or not.

Many states do not give credit for additional children. Some do, but the credit isn't particularly high. If his income has tripled since the child support order was made, he can expect a serious increase if he should petition for a modification, even with additional children.

If his wife knew about his child support obligation when they chose to have additional children, then his wife went into things with her eyes wide open.

He cannot ask for a copy of the child's birth certificate unless he is listed on the birth certificate. Since he didn't follow through with visitation or any other parental rights, I doubt that he made the effort to have his name placed on the birth certificate. Without at least a birth certificate, he can't get a copy of the child's SSN number.

As you have already been told, child support and visitation are completely separate legal matters.

[stealth2]

The best thing you could do to help your friend is to tell him to speak with a lawyer in the state where the order was originated. You are NOT helping him with your other advice as you are completely misinformed. PLEASE don't hurt his situation any further - tell him to speak with a professional.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by chesspupil

What is the name of your state? Georgia, but North Carolina is where the Child Support judgement was initailly started.

My friend has child from a woman he met when he was just starting out in the military. The boy is 10 now. He pays 600$ a month in support for the child, but the SSN has been provided by the mother and where exactly she is living is in question. He has NEVER received a picture of him nor any visitation. He is married now and has 3 children with his wife. (this 600 was never figured or adjusted in the original court order.)

The 600$ seems steep, but the woman at the time said she was working 2 jobs and needed day and night day care. He has not wanted to address the other miriad of issues involved with starting a relationship with the boy, and is punishing himself with the 600$ monthly loss.

Through friends and coworkers a few years ago the mother of the 10 yr old had only 1 job and is remairried. Other intentions of the family are unknown.

Not wanting to have his career impacted with letters to his boss about diliquent child support payments and having little other funds to have an attonery take care of this business, he has decided to continue to make the payments, he takes full responsibility for the child.

His present wife is continually frustrated that he is letting the $600 go when his 3 other children deserve a piece of the $ and that annual tax returns have never included the child. He could also have his health insurance cover some of the 10yrs olds needs if he had the SSN.

I have encourage him to notify his boss about his intentions and possilby do this:

Stop payments. I'm sure that the mother of the child will take notice after missing the 1st or second months payments. Second option is to find a fair schedule of what he would be paying now figuring extra children and reduce the payment accordingly.

This way he could find out where the child is, the SSN for taxes, and possibly find an intrest in a relaionship.

Where does my friend stand with his rights to having the childs SSN for medical care and tax purposes.

Can he post a notification in a few newspapers to serve as proof that he is trying to contact the mother of the 10yr old befor withdawing the $ be done?

Can he have the last decree canceld and refile in another state figuring in his new children. For all he truly knows the child could be dead and the mother is simply collecting on her grief. What LEGAL rights does he have to know the child's SSN and how can he amend tax returns to collect lost income.

First of all, he doesn't have to ask the mother's permission to be involved in his 1st kid's life. That what courts are for. He has during 10 years had every chance to take the mother to court and gotten to know his son. By waiting so long, it will be getting trickier to start a relationship, because the 10 year old is probably going to wonder where the hell dad has been during his 10 year life, and why dad didn't give a hoot about knowing him during all those years.

And if the new wife is bitter about the man she CHOSE to marry and procreate with, having to support his FIRST child, then maybe she should stop popping out kids for a while and get a job to help support HER kids. She has zero rights in having a say about hubby's PREVIOUS kid with ANOTHER woman.

Tell your "friend" to get a lawyer, go to court and get visitation with the son he has ignored for a decade. And if that means that he'll have to pay more cs to the son, then so be it. If money is worth more than his own firstborn, then you'll know what kind of "man" your friend is.

[msiron]

So far..... he's paid out $78 grand and doesn't know where it's going? OK. Well after a total of 18 years of CP he will have paid $140,400 all for 10 seconds of pleasure... and anyone can obtain anyones birth certificate if you know at least the state that the child was born in, it's not top secret info, it's public record.

[acmb05]

Originally Posted by msiron

So far..... he's paid out $78 grand and doesn't know where it's going? OK. Well after a total of 18 years of CP he will have paid $140,400 all for 10 seconds of pleasure ... and anyone can obtain anyones birth certificate if you know at least the state that the child was born in, it's not top secret info, it's public record.

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. You cannot obtain a copy of anyones birth certificate unless you are listed as a parent on that certificate. Or with a court order.

[acmb05]

Besides if it was that important to the OP she would not have waited 4 months to come back and check this thread for advice.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by acmb05

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. You cannot obtain a copy of anyones birth certificate unless you are listed as a parent on that certificate. Or with a court order.

You're right, you cannot actually get a certified birth certificate, but a person can GO to the vital statistics office and view the birth record or do it online if the county has that option. BUT, that doesn't always mean a person will find the info they are looking for. Even though the record itself is public, the parents names are NOT listed in the online record where I live. All it shows is the child's name, DOB and the date the birth was reported.