cohabitation

[B.S.]

What is the name of your state? PA

my ex-wife is engaged to a man who lives in a different state.
He is out of state because of his job.
When not working, they spend the great majority of their time together; but, because he is out of town for work, they each have a house in separate states.
They have significant financial/social/sexual interdependence.
Is there any case law supporting the termination of support based on cohabitation even if he spends most of his time out of town because of work?

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by B.S.

What is the name of your state? PA

my ex-wife is engaged to a man who lives in a different state.
He is out of state because of his job.
When not working, they spend the great majority of their time together; but, because he is out of town for work, they each have a house in separate states.
They have significant financial/social/sexual interdependence.
Is there any case law supporting the termination of support based on cohabitation even if he spends most of his time out of town because of work?

What does the judgment in your lawsuit say about this?

[LdiJ]

As seniorjudge told you, what your orders say is critical.

However...I have to also comment on a couple of other issues. Social and sexual interdependence is pretty irrelevant.

I also think you are going to have a hard time proving financial interdependence when they are maintaining separate households.

[B.S.]

there has not been a law suit yet,
I am trying to determine if there are grounds to pursue the termination of support,
I think the financial relationship will be shown through shared travel expenses, transfer of $ from one to another (which they claim is related to her employment for his company -- I doubt this) etc

I consider the social interdependence to be of importance re: the the relationship he has with her (and my) children and vice-versa (including the fact that she orchestrated an adoption in his name and she was the primary care-giver for the newborn for the first 2 months of life -- although, it was his name only on the adoption papers)

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by B.S.

...there has not been a law suit yet....

So y'all are not divorced then?

[tigger22472]

The point is what does your original decree say about spousal support. I agree with LDIJ that you aren't likely going to get far with it considering they live and maintain separate homes. Even if they lived together it would boil down to what the CO says because not all eliminate support with cohabitation.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by B.S.

there has not been a law suit yet,
I am trying to determine if there are grounds to pursue the termination of support,
I think the financial relationship will be shown through shared travel expenses, transfer of $ from one to another (which they claim is related to her employment for his company -- I doubt this) etc

I consider the social interdependence to be of importance re: the the relationship he has with her (and my) children and vice-versa (including the fact that she orchestrated an adoption in his name and she was the primary care-giver for the newborn for the first 2 months of life -- although, it was his name only on the adoption papers)

Shared travel expenses isn't shared living expenses.....and shared living expenses is what would be critical to your case. In other words....you would have to prove that she doesn't need support from you because someone else is picking up a share of her living expenses. If they are maintaining separate households that would be darned near impossible to prove.

I think you need to go get yourself a consult with a local attorney so that you have more definative answers to your questions. At this point I honestly think that you are "reaching"...mightily.

[B.S.]

the divorce decree is vague,
it just says that support will be terminated based on cohabitation,

In addition to travel expenses, he is giving her several thousand dollars per month, which they call a salary, but, I don't believe the amount of work she does warrants this amount of "salary"

although she is writing the checks for her household expenses, she is covering this with the $ she receives from him (in addition to the support she receives from me each month)

[nan1208]

Cohabitation is difficult to prove. If they are maintaining separate houses, forget it. It doesn't matter how much time they spend together. Your best bet is to simply wait until they marry, at which time alimony will stop.

[trustknow1]

I think there should be an additional category added to "Craigslist" or similar exchange type forums. It could be called

"Spousal Support Matchmaker"

Paying Parties Receiving Parties



Assuming your "ex-spouse's" new boyfriend has an "ex-spouse" of his own he is paying spousal support to, as you are**************

You would list your name in the "Paying Parties" column, and his "ex-spouse" would list her name in the "Receiving Party" column. Both columns are also required to list the dollar amounts involved with their name entries.

Then both "dangling" parties (you and his "ex") would have the option to "hook up" with each other first, prior to opening your names up to the other listed people (for convenience and compatibility due to mutual connection). If that does not work, you both are free to search for an appropriate financial match to solve your problems.

When you find a "match", it really does not have to be a romantic connection. It could just be a temporary financial solution. The "paying" party and "receiving" party construct a financial arrangement similar to what your "ex" and her "boyfriend" have put together. Now you and your choice of "receiving" partner have a solution to restore your financial status.

You pay your "ex", which she combines with her boyfriend's income. When you connect with his "ex" who receives spousal support paid by your "ex's" boyfriend to her...with your income**************.....everybody is back to a financial status similar to their original position. The result is actually just a transfer of funds within a four-person financial "circle jerk" of shifting money between couples.

Hey, it is an ugly and messy set-up, but compared to the alternative of solo financial ruin; or for that matter....marriage in general...it is not a bad set-up.

Then when one of the parties cases changes....i.e. ,one couple gets married, the remaining "partnership" can either be dissolved or continue, based on the preferences of each "partner".

You gotta admit, it does not sound any more difficult than trying to keep a normal marriage together these days.

OK<OK,,,, this was just a humorous suggestion for a possible solution to your financial problem, which is actually a terrible experience in reality.

But, the more I think about it, the more it actually looks like a viable option. Whatta ya think? It is sort of like a twisted version of "Swapping Wives"....or whatever that stupid reality show on TV is called.

hey......false hope is better than no hope at all......right?

[casa]

Originally Posted by B.S.

the divorce decree is vague,
it just says that support will be terminated based on cohabitation,

In addition to travel expenses, he is giving her several thousand dollars per month, which they call a salary, but, I don't believe the amount of work she does warrants this amount of "salary"

although she is writing the checks for her household expenses, she is covering this with the $ she receives from him (in addition to the support she receives from me each month)

Problem is he is her boss...he will say he pays/paid her X amount of $ for x,y,z. She is paying all the household bills via her own account.

If they dump ea. other, PM me...sounds perfect- a guy who's gone 1/2 the time and yet still overpays me for virtually nothing. hmmmm

[casa]

Originally Posted by trustknow1

I think there should be an additional category added to "Craigslist" or similar exchange type forums. It could be called

"Spousal Support Matchmaker"

Paying Parties Receiving Parties



Assuming your "ex-spouse's" new boyfriend has an "ex-spouse" of his own he is paying spousal support to, as you are**************

You would list your name in the "Paying Parties" column, and his "ex-spouse" would list her name in the "Receiving Party" column. Both columns are also required to list the dollar amounts involved with their name entries.

Then both "dangling" parties (you and his "ex") would have the option to "hook up" with each other first, prior to opening your names up to the other listed people (for convenience and compatibility due to mutual connection). If that does not work, you both are free to search for an appropriate financial match to solve your problems.

When you find a "match", it really does not have to be a romantic connection. It could just be a temporary financial solution. The "paying" party and "receiving" party construct a financial arrangement similar to what your "ex" and her "boyfriend" have put together. Now you and your choice of "receiving" partner have a solution to restore your financial status.

You pay your "ex", which she combines with her boyfriend's income. When you connect with his "ex" who receives spousal support paid by your "ex's" boyfriend to her...with your income**************.....everybody is back to a financial status similar to their original position. The result is actually just a transfer of funds within a four-person financial "circle jerk" of shifting money between couples.

Hey, it is an ugly and messy set-up, but compared to the alternative of solo financial ruin; or for that matter....marriage in general...it is not a bad set-up.

Then when one of the parties cases changes....i.e. ,one couple gets married, the remaining "partnership" can either be dissolved or continue, based on the preferences of each "partner".

You gotta admit, it does not sound any more difficult than trying to keep a normal marriage together these days.

OK<OK,,,, this was just a humorous suggestion for a possible solution to your financial problem, which is actually a terrible experience in reality.

But, the more I think about it, the more it actually looks like a viable option. Whatta ya think? It is sort of like a twisted version of "Swapping Wives"....or whatever that stupid reality show on TV is called.

hey......false hope is better than no hope at all......right?

LMAO!

My X's new wife told me that she receives her child support, deposits it, then writes me a check for support & mails it. (same exact amount too!) lol The problem is, I can't see myself involved with her X in anyway!