Cohabitation proof

[lizzy4k]

What is the name of your state? NC

My husbands alimony payment to the ex ends upon remarriage or cohabitation. What kind of proof does one need to show cohabitation? We both know that the boyfriend of 2 years sleeps over there, often days at a time. We are in a beach community, and he keeps his boat parked there year round. The youngest son (12) says this guy tucks him in at night. He will often be at late games, etc. THey don't deny he stays over - and brings his kids on some weekends. She stays at his house on occaision - which is 2 hours away.

The real evidence, in my opinion, is that for the past year (or more) both the child support and the alimony checks, payable to the ex wife, are signed over to the boyfriend, and are deposited into his acct in his hometown.

What can we do legally? Is this cohabitation?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by lizzy4k

What is the name of your state? NC

My husbands alimony payment to the ex ends upon remarriage or cohabitation. What kind of proof does one need to show cohabitation? We both know that the boyfriend of 2 years sleeps over there, often days at a time. We are in a beach community, and he keeps his boat parked there year round. The youngest son (12) says this guy tucks him in at night. He will often be at late games, etc. THey don't deny he stays over - and brings his kids on some weekends. She stays at his house on occaision - which is 2 hours away.

The real evidence, in my opinion, is that for the past year (or more) both the child support and the alimony checks, payable to the ex wife, are signed over to the boyfriend, and are deposited into his acct in his hometown.

That seems like a reasonable piece of evidence in your husbands favor.


What can we do legally? Is this cohabitation?

Normally an ex-wife collecting alimony is cognizant of losing alimony and will walk up to that line of cohabitation and not cross it for that reason. My opinion is that this type of person is a loser and always will be.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by lizzy4k

What is the name of your state? NC

My husbands alimony payment to the ex ends upon remarriage or cohabitation. What kind of proof does one need to show cohabitation? We both know that the boyfriend of 2 years sleeps over there, often days at a time. We are in a beach community, and he keeps his boat parked there year round. The youngest son (12) says this guy tucks him in at night. He will often be at late games, etc. THey don't deny he stays over - and brings his kids on some weekends. She stays at his house on occaision - which is 2 hours away.

The real evidence, in my opinion, is that for the past year (or more) both the child support and the alimony checks, payable to the ex wife, are signed over to the boyfriend, and are deposited into his acct in his hometown.

What can we do legally? Is this cohabitation?

If his official home is 2 hours away, its going to be difficult, if not impossible to prove cohabitation. Its odd that she is signing over her alimony and CS checks to him, but there could be an explanation for that. Its difficult to prove cohabitation (which means that he lives there full time and shares the costs of the home) when the other party has a home elsewhere, particularly that far away.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

If his official home is 2 hours away, its going to be difficult, if not impossible to prove cohabitation. Its odd that she is signing over her alimony and CS checks to him, but there could be an explanation for that. Its difficult to prove cohabitation (which means that he lives there full time and shares the costs of the home) when the other party has a home elsewhere, particularly that far away.

That may be the legal definition of cohabitation, but the real definition is that she is stealing money from one man and using it to play hanky panky with another man.

She is a low life and it doesn't get any lower than that.

[nextwife]

Well, actually, I know several couples, married, living together, where they own a seasonal (lake or sunbelt) residence. The wife and family stay at the lake house during the summmer and hubbys in town during the week. They ARE cohabitating, at least on weekends. having two residences is no proof that cohabitation is NOT occurring. These couples consider themselves a family and living together, and having a second residence where he spends the weeks does not mean they are not..

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Well, actually, I know several couples, married, living together, where they own a seasonal (lake or sunbelt) residence. The wife and family stay at the lake house during the summmer and hubbys in town during the week. They ARE cohabitating, at least on weekends. having two residences is no proof that cohabitation is NOT occurring. These couples consider themselves a family and living together, and having a second residence where he spends the weeks does not mean they are not..

However, this is not that situation. They don't live together all year long and are only apart and just spending weekends together during the summer.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

However, this is not that situation. They don't live together all year long and are only apart and just spending weekends together during the summer.

They're also not married.

From [url]http://dictionary.law.com/[/url]

Cohabitation
n. living together in the same residence, generally either as husband and wife or for an extended period of time as if the parties were married. Cohabitation implies that the parties are having sexual intercourse while living together, but the definition would not apply to a casual sexual encounter. Legal disputes have arisen as to whether cohabitation would refer to same sex partners, which is important to those involved since "cohabitation" is the basis of certain rights and privileges under various laws, regulations and contracts. The findings of the courts vary on this question, but the trend is to include long-standing homosexual relationships as cohabitation.

What OP has described is not cohabitation - it's spending a LOT of time together, yes, but I don't imagine a judge would determine this to be cohabitation. Not unless he'd call what me and my BF have as cohabitation given that we spend 5/7 nights together in one of our homes. We spend more time together than my husband and I did. But we're not cohabbing.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by CJane

They're also not married.

From [url]http://dictionary.law.com/[/url]

Cohabitation
n. living together in the same residence, generally either as husband and wife or for an extended period of time as if the parties were married. Cohabitation implies that the parties are having sexual intercourse while living together, but the definition would not apply to a casual sexual encounter. Legal disputes have arisen as to whether cohabitation would refer to same sex partners, which is important to those involved since "cohabitation" is the basis of certain rights and privileges under various laws, regulations and contracts. The findings of the courts vary on this question, but the trend is to include long-standing homosexual relationships as cohabitation.

What OP has described is not cohabitation - it's spending a LOT of time together, yes, but I don't imagine a judge would determine this to be cohabitation.

Well that's a shocking revelation.

Not unless he'd call what me and my BF have as cohabitation given that we spend 5/7 nights together in one of our homes. We spend more time together than my husband and I did. But we're not cohabbing.

Is this a cloaked message for all those alimony money stealing ex-wives on how to cohabitate and keep the alimony check coming in?

[CJane]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Is this a cloaked message for all those alimony money stealing ex-wives on how to cohabitate and keep the alimony check coming in?

I wouldn't know, as alimony is completely foreign to me. But it IS the legal def of cohabitation.

[lizzy4k]

what if his recent exwife got their home, and he's renting... does that matter? His type of work allows him to take jobs here as well as there. Does any of that matter? They were secretly dating before he left his wife. So, at least he's serious. Why would anyone want to give up alimony and get married, when you can have it all??

[CJane]

Originally Posted by lizzy4k

what if his recent exwife got their home, and he's renting... does that matter? His type of work allows him to take jobs here as well as there. Does any of that matter? They were secretly dating before he left his wife. So, at least he's serious. Why would anyone want to give up alimony and get married, when you can have it all??

Your husband can certainly try to get a modification to end the spousal support, but cohabitation is one of those iffy things, and it's really up to the judge. But as long as he's maintaining a completely separate residence from her, I don't think they're cohabitating. If he'd (the BF) sublet his apartment, or was supposedly living in a hotel or something, I think your husband would have a better shot at it.

If I were an ex receiving alimony, I'd want it ended as soon as possible if for no other reason than to get the ex out of my azz... but I hear I'm the exception.

[moburkes]

Originally Posted by CJane

Your husband can certainly try to get a modification to end the spousal support, but cohabitation is one of those iffy things, and it's really up to the judge. But as long as he's maintaining a completely separate residence from her, I don't think they're cohabitating. If he'd (the BF) sublet his apartment, or was supposedly living in a hotel or something, I think your husband would have a better shot at it.

If I were an ex receiving alimony, I'd want it ended as soon as possible if for no other reason than to get the ex out of my azz... but I hear I'm the exception.

No, I'm with you. Not everyone is a golddigging loser.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by lizzy4k

what if his recent exwife got their home, and he's renting... does that matter?

No because terms of the divorce are final.

His type of work allows him to take jobs here as well as there. Does any of that matter? They were secretly dating before he left his wife. So, at least he's serious. Why would anyone want to give up alimony and get married, when you can have it all??

You will need to ask the author's of these rediculous alimony laws.