Complicated Issue

[WantsToNo]

What is the name of your state? SC . . . Next month will mark my 8th anniversary of being "married" to this man. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison 3 months after we got married. I stood by him all the seven years of time he served, foolishly neglecting my own needs to take care of his, until I couldn't any longer. It wasn't until I had a nervous breakdown, lost my health and my job that I stopped putting him before everything. After he was released from prison last March, he didn't even come home. He lives somewhere in a nearby state but I never see him or hear from him. I want to divorce him, and change my name so I can erase any trace of him from my life. Since I still don't have a job, and he does, can he be made to pay alimony?What is the name of your state?

[WantsToNo]

There is a question that I didn't place at the end of my question that asks what the name of my state is. If you're asking me that again, I answered at the beginning. SC stands for South Carolina.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by WantsToNo

What is the name of your state? SC . . . Next month will mark my 8th anniversary of being "married" to this man. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison 3 months after we got married. I stood by him all the seven years of time he served, foolishly neglecting my own needs to take care of his, until I couldn't any longer. It wasn't until I had a nervous breakdown, lost my health and my job that I stopped putting him before everything. After he was released from prison last March, he didn't even come home. He lives somewhere in a nearby state but I never see him or hear from him. I want to divorce him, and change my name so I can erase any trace of him from my life. Since I still don't have a job, and he does, can he be made to pay alimony?What is the name of your state?

[url]http://www.divorcesupport.com/divorce/South-Carolina-Spousal-Support-Maintenance-729.html[/url]

And check SECTION 20-3-130 from the next link:
[url]http://www.scstatehouse.net/code/t20c003.htm[/url]

[WantsToNo]

Thank you for your prompt response, but I was already aware of the information on the Alimony Factors site. (I have been surfing for a few hours.) But now I have a headache from trying to figure out what part of the South Carolina Legislature (Section 20-3-130) says anything about prison exempting him from alimony payments. ie: A friend of mine told me that because he never contributed to the household because, up until the time he was arrested, all the money he made went up his nose, that he would not be required to pay alimony, since I provided everything we had. See he came into my life at a vulnerable time. My mother had just passed, and was the last member of my family in this state (besides my children), and I was grieving deeply. This man saw a tender checkbook (I made a handsome salary) and poured on the charm. Before I knew it, my knight in shining armour turned out to be a giant leech! He had nothing but the shirt on his back and a huge backpack of lies. He was one of the smoothest operators I've ever met, because I was no niave' child. I deliberately took my time, observing him for almost a year before I gave in to his requests to marry him. Then he opened that backpack and let the white horse out. That's why he got arrested. I didn't annul the marriage right then only because I believed God wanted me to honor the vows I had pledged to uphold "til death do us part". Well now the marriage is dead and he has departed, so I want to see if I can recoup some of my loss and bury the memories. If there is no chance of recoupment, that's all right too; I just didn't want to dismiss the idea without determining if it were possible. So if the fact that he now has an income and I don't, he has no property obtained with any income he had while we were married, and we have no children together, does all that legalese indicate I might be eligible for some payback?

[IrishLady47]

I'm confused about what "payback" you are referring to. You said he was arrested 3 months after your marriage and sentenced to prison. Since he was released, he does not live with you, correct? So he has never supported you during the marriage and you only financially supported him for 3 months prior to imprisonment. What is it you want "payback" for?

Of course you can always request SS in a divorce action. And, only you can decide if it is worth spending the money on the extra legal fees.

Honestly, I think you have a snowball's chance in he11 of getting it. And, do you really want to count on payments from an ex + ex-con to boot. I'd look harder for a job.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by IrishLady47

I'm confused about what "payback" you are referring to. You said he was arrested 3 months after your marriage and sentenced to prison. Since he was released, he does not live with you, correct? So he has never supported you during the marriage and you only financially supported him for 3 months prior to imprisonment. What is it you want "payback" for?

Of course you can always request SS in a divorce action. And, only you can decide if it is worth spending the money on the extra legal fees.

Honestly, I think you have a snowball's chance in he11 of getting it. And, do you really want to count on payments from an ex + ex-con to boot. I'd look harder for a job.

She is probably pissed because she put $$ in his canteen and he left her as soon as he was released...

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by baystategirl

She is probably pissed because she put $$ in his canteen and he left her as soon as he was released...

She also could have been paying his bills while he was in as well....car payment, credit cards etc.

[MoneyShot]

You say "I want to divorce him, and change my name so I can erase any trace of him from my life" and yet you want alimony. Does anyone else see some inconsistency here? Which do you want - separation from the past or an ongoing financial relationship?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

She also could have been paying his bills while he was in as well....car payment, credit cards etc.

So what? What about husbands who pay their wifes bills while the wife sits on the couch eating doughnuts? In the end the husband gets whacked with alimony anyway.

This man has paid his debt to society. He is going to have enough trouble re-adjusting and doesn't need a freeloader on his back. He doesn't owe her a nickel in alimony.

[WantsToNo]

Okay, I have a few replies to respond to: First, when I say "payback", I am indeed referring to the time I supported him before he was arrested, plus the fines and fees I paid trying to defend him, plus (as previously stated) the cash I put out for his canteen priviledges, his expensive collect calls, his replacements for (as he put it) "the sorry stuff the state gives us", and the money I spent driving all across the state to visit him every weekend until I was too exhausted. Not to mention, I don't see why I shouldn't be afforded some compensation for the pain and anguish I suffered due to his behavior during the time I was trying to keep the marriage intact until he could return home. If I had deserted him the way he has me, I would still have my job and wouldn't have to think about whether I want to sue him for Alimony or not. And yes, I did say I wanted to erase him from my life, but if I should be able to receive Alimony, I expect I shouldn't have to see or converse with him to get a payment through the courts. If I am not able to obtain any payments, I have no problem with wiping my feet and galloping off into the sunset. As for you, Mr. Bali Hai, and I'm assuming you're a man by your comment, I'll have you to know I am no freeloader, Sir. I have worked since I was 14 years old and have never depended on anyone to take care of me! But in light of the fact that I am now unemployed as a result of the emotional trauma I suffered at this man's hands, I think it only apropos that he contribute something to relieve the strain on my budget while I earn my degree. I did not get married alone, and since he couldn't hold up his end of the bargain in the beginning, it would be fitting that he should do something besides trick women and drain them of all their money. And as far as his paying his debt to society, he was looking at 20 years when he went to court, but he only got ten because I spoke up for him at his trial.

[Silverplum]

I don't think you have a snowball's chance in Iraq in the summertime. Re-read the statutes.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

I don't think you have a snowball's chance in Iraq in the summertime. Re-read the statutes.

Clear and concise, however I don't believe OP wants to hear that.

I will add that OP MARRIED this loser AND why should anyone feel sorry for her for that??

[moburkes]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Clear and concise, however I don't believe OP wants to hear that.

I will add that OP MARRIED this loser AND why should anyone feel sorry for her for that??

I agree. He didn't commit a crime in that 3 moth period before he went to jail. She says that he saw a checkbook, but I'm really trying to see what she saw in a person who was on his way, LITERALLY, to jail when they married.

Married people shouldn't need "payback" for the sacrifices that they made while being married. They made those sacrifices out of love, right?

[WantsToNo]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

I don't think you have a snowball's chance in Iraq in the summertime. Re-read the statutes.

Thank you for your input. It is very much appreciated.

[WantsToNo]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Clear and concise, however I don't believe OP wants to hear that.

I will add that OP MARRIED this loser AND why should anyone feel sorry for her for that??

I did not ask ANYONE to feel sorry for me. What I asked for was information, which I have received from someone who doesn't seem to have a chip on their shoulder. If you are a judge, I do hope you don't take such a hostile approach in your court room.

Glad I don't need you,
GOODBYE!