Desperate

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by harris

ok - looks like I have no way out of this mess via an appeal to the court for a review?? Everyone is correct, I did agree, at the urging of my attorney. The court was aware that no windfall or inheritance was inline, this all had to be disclosed upfront. its just a mess and I'll try to figure out some way to deal with it. not sure how. getting a second job sounds like a plan, but you'd have to understand my first job. I travel all over the SE, so a second job is not as easy as it sounds, I'm never in one spot more than a day. to date my credit is fine, just loaded. I've missed not debt payments or alimony & child support. Not paying is not my style. I personally don't agree with alimony but that's a different story.

That's why I think you really can't afford not to have this all put in front of an attorney.

Again, nobody here can really tell you if your order is modifiable or not - if it is, then personally I still think you have an uphill battle because your circumstances haven't changed (and in Alabama it generally requires a material COS for an order to be changed unless the language of the order itself allows for something different).

You need to see an attorney.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by harris

ok - looks like I have no way out of this mess via an appeal to the court for a review?? Everyone is correct, I did agree, at the urging of my attorney. The court was aware that no windfall or inheritance was inline, this all had to be disclosed upfront. its just a mess and I'll try to figure out some way to deal with it. not sure how. getting a second job sounds like a plan, but you'd have to understand my first job. I travel all over the SE, so a second job is not as easy as it sounds, I'm never in one spot more than a day. to date my credit is fine, just loaded. I've missed not debt payments or alimony & child support. Not paying is not my style. I personally don't agree with alimony but that's a different story.

No, you cannot appeal an agreement, you can only appeal a judge's order, and then only if the judge made an error of law or abused his/her discretion.

The judge did turn your agreement into a court order, but its still not appealable.

Agreements can sometimes be vacated if fraud was involved, (ie there were hidden, undisclosed assets) or can be modified if there is a "change in circumstance". You do not have either of those.

I honestly recommend some serious downsizing for a few years.

[harris]

I can appreciate all the down sizing recommendations, but honestly I don't think you understand.....what is there to down size? The expense associated with the children are set in the agreement. I don't have any other related issues to down size. it sounds good on the surface but I live with a friend, drive a vehicle with 110K miles, etc.. I guess that is my point in this entire ordeal and questioning process. I don't have anything further to reduce or give up. I lost everything I owned i the divorce, I assumed all of the debt and now......here I am. down sizing sounds easy but I don't have anything to down size from. I was hoping to be able to make some type of hardship claim to the court?? I made a bad deal thinking I could over come it with yearly bonus, but the economy has solved that thought for me. I said many times to my attorney during the back and forth, I don't believe I can do this. His comment was it is probably the best deal we will get based on the judge we drew.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by harris

I can appreciate all the down sizing recommendations, but honestly I don't think you understand.....what is there to down size? The expense associated with the children are set in the agreement. I don't have any other related issues to down size. it sounds good on the surface but I live with a friend, drive a vehicle with 110K miles, etc.. I guess that is my point in this entire ordeal and questioning process. I don't have anything further to reduce or give up. I lost everything I owned i the divorce, I assumed all of the debt and now......here I am. down sizing sounds easy but I don't have anything to down size from. I was hoping to be able to make some type of hardship claim to the court?? I made a bad deal thinking I could over come it with yearly bonus, but the economy has solved that thought for me. I said many times to my attorney during the back and forth, I don't believe I can do this. His comment was it is probably the best deal we will get based on the judge we drew.

With an 18 year marriage and the disparity in your incomes I can see why your attorney thought it was a good deal. You honestly could have been hit with much higher child support and higher alimony as well. Seriously, you are paying less in child support and alimony combined (percentage wise) than the average person pays in just child support for two children...and the alimony is tax deductible.

Where you got screwed was the debt...and even then, if you wanted to preserve your credit rating I don't see how you could have shifted half of that debt onto your ex without your credit rating ending up being totalled anyway.

If you are living with a friend and driving a paid off car I find it very difficult to believe that you are coming up as short as you claim to be.

Again, get a consult with a local attorney and lay everything on the table. However, my belief is that you will end up paying just as much in child support as you are paying in child support and alimony combined, and without the tax break, if you are able to modify anything.

You might have to live very frugally for a few years, but you have enough income that in the long term you will get rid of the debts and be rid of both alimony AND child support.

[harris]

I never said the car was paid for, it's only two years old, that's how much traveling I do. I have a car payment. trust me, I wouldn't get on here and ask for advice on info that wasn't true. I guess the only part I don't understand is that if the debt existed in the marriage then how can a judge even consider upholding payment that equal more than income? I believe the Cs & alimony I am paying is due to the fact that there is no additional income to pay more with? as much as a judge might like for you to pay a certain amount, its seems odd that they would be hard headed enough to believe you can just create additional revenue?? I would have never suggested shifting any debt to her, but I would have expected that instead of alimony I would take the dent instead of spliting?? the CS is what it is and I am ok with that, but seeing how she got all the household items, plus the equity in the house, that seesm like enough in the form of alimony?

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by harris

I never said the car was paid for, it's only two years old, that's how much traveling I do. I have a car payment. trust me, I wouldn't get on here and ask for advice on info that wasn't true. I guess the only part I don't understand is that if the debt existed in the marriage then how can a judge even consider upholding payment that equal more than income? I believe the Cs & alimony I am paying is due to the fact that there is no additional income to pay more with? as much as a judge might like for you to pay a certain amount, its seems odd that they would be hard headed enough to believe you can just create additional revenue?? I would have never suggested shifting any debt to her, but I would have expected that instead of alimony I would take the dent instead of spliting?? the CS is what it is and I am ok with that, but seeing how she got all the household items, plus the equity in the house, that seesm like enough in the form of alimony?

The judge merely did what was asked of him - to affirm what you both agreed to.

He didn't decide himself; he didn't order you to do anything other than what you basically asked him to do.

I made a bad deal thinking I could over come it with yearly bonus, but the economy has solved that thought for me.

Again, I'm not sure how else we can help you on this one; but you gotta try and refocus a little. This isn't the judge's fault, and the court didn't do anything wrong from any legal standpoint (there doesn't seem to be any error in law) - this was an order, an arrangement, to which you voluntarily agreed.

It's not generally the judge's place to go into why you agreed to it; your ex could have been the most intolerable harridan ever known to mankind and you might have paid ANY amount to rid yourself of her - we (and the judge) just don't know and can't fairly be expected to know your reasons for agreeing, you know?

Should you have done so? Perhaps, perhaps not. As L said you're not paying anything out of the ordinary (realistically speaking) and you could have actually been hit harder than you were. Either way, you really do need to speak with an attorney.