Divorcing my disabled husband

[Cia2013]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
I have been married for 14yrs to my disabled husband. While I believe he could at least work part time he never has. I've struggled to support us the entire time.
He does little to nothing at home besides play games. I make about 4200/mth and it's enough to pay all bills including utilities, rent and everything else. He only makes $220 off of his disability.
While I understand $220 in a month isn't enough to support him for room and board, I'm not exactly rich with my income. We have two children, one of which is disabled and has multiple extremely expensive medical needs. My income barely covers everything that is needed, and I have no idea how I will support his room and board AND mine and my children's (he wouldn't even want to take primary custody).
Am I screwed????

 

[stealth2]

I think you can expect to be paying spousal support.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
I have been married for 14yrs to my disabled husband. While I believe he could at least work part time he never has. I've struggled to support us the entire time.
He does little to nothing at home besides play games. I make about 4200/mth and it's enough to pay all bills including utilities, rent and everything else. He only makes $220 off of his disability.
While I understand $220 in a month isn't enough to support him for room and board, I'm not exactly rich with my income. We have two children, one of which is disabled and has multiple extremely expensive medical needs. My income barely covers everything that is needed, and I have no idea how I will support his room and board AND mine and my children's (he wouldn't even want to take primary custody).
Am I screwed????

You agreed to this situation for 14 years. You're not screwed any worse than a man in your position would be. You can get a second job if your disposable income isn't what you want it to be after you pay your alimony.

 

[tuffbrk]

$220 a month in disability? Something is wrong with that figure.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Nope, SSDI and due to her income he does not get an SSI kicker. Remember when you married for better or worse, in sickness and in health? He appears to be the equivalent of a stay at home wife with an SSDI kicker.

 

[NellieBly]

I am sure the OP would not feel so strongly if the husband at least tried to help around the house.

I'm disabled and have cancer and I have a part time job. Heck, I love my job. (Don't tell my boss)

My son is disabled and he wants a job.

 

[tuffbrk]

Nope, SSDI and due to her income he does not get an SSI kicker. Remember when you married for better or worse, in sickness and in health? He appears to be the equivalent of a stay at home wife with an SSDI kicker.

Believe that only holds true for SSI, not SSDI. it's entirely possible that he is only receiving the indigent allocation under SSI.

 

[NellieBly]

Believe that only holds true for SSI, not SSDI. it's entirely possible that he is only receiving the indigent allocation under SSI.

Isn't the indigent allocation $700 if the person lives alone?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

SSI is income based, wifes income prohibits it being paid. Hence his only getting SSDI based on prior work. If she divorces him, it can be structured so he lives there once the divorce is final and applies for low income disabled housing which will be basically free. Once he is in the housing, he can get the full SSI kicker to about $780 or so, scaled rent of about $100 and can request SSDI for the child in lieu of support so she would get about $220 for the child. If they can agree to work it out that way and they have not accrued significant assets that he would end up with more than an old car and little in assets. Don't spread the word. I am only supplying the info for moms benefit.

 

[LdiJ]

Believe that only holds true for SSI, not SSDI. it's entirely possible that he is only receiving the indigent allocation under SSI.

Yes, but SSI is based on need, and his wife's income would make him ineligible for SSI. That is why its more likely that he worked just enough to get a small amount of SSDI.

Once he is divorced his SSI might go up (definitely would if he did not receive alimony).

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Yes, but SSI is based on need, and his wife's income would make him ineligible for SSI. That is why its more likely that he worked just enough to get a small amount of SSDI.

Once he is divorced his SSI might go up (definitely would if he did not receive alimony).

Not if he lived there until the divorce was final and then obtained housing based on his SSDI. Once he obtained housing he could file for the additional SSI. It would be contingent on her working with him to structure it AND them not having enough in assets he would not qualify for SSI once in gov't disability housing.

 

[tranquility]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
I have been married for 14yrs to my disabled husband. While I believe he could at least work part time he never has. I've struggled to support us the entire time.
He does little to nothing at home besides play games. I make about 4200/mth and it's enough to pay all bills including utilities, rent and everything else. He only makes $220 off of his disability.
While I understand $220 in a month isn't enough to support him for room and board, I'm not exactly rich with my income. We have two children, one of which is disabled and has multiple extremely expensive medical needs. My income barely covers everything that is needed, and I have no idea how I will support his room and board AND mine and my children's (he wouldn't even want to take primary custody).
Am I screwed????

Are YOU screwed? No, don't think of it as that. Think of the fact we all make decisions. Some decisions have legal ramifications. Some of the random of life have ramifications. Some are born in the US, some have rich parents, some are white, some are stupid; all things have the ability to screw a person in society.

I suggest an attorney. Many things you may be ordered to do will last for a long time. In difficulties with my wife that could have lasted for a long time, I stayed. I went and go to sleep in distress over if I was not as emotionally supportive as I could have been. At the very least, I should have made posters of celebration and happiness to put over the cat box she could see as I lifted her out of the wheel chair onto the the toilet a couple of times each day.

Life is hard. You made choices. A disability is real. But, you should see the statistics of people who get divorced from those disabled during the marriage. It is more likely than not. Few should judge, other than those who would not. However, once you make the legal choice to marry, you have duties and responsibilities. 14 years? That is not going to be easy to unwind. If you made an exceptionally bad choice, you will have an exceptionally hard time to rid yourself of the problem.

I don't really know your facts or really know your situation. It's just that the law will assign multiple responsibilities for your decisions. If you think those responsibilities demanded differ from the law, you need an attorney.

 

[NellieBly]

SSI is income based, wifes income prohibits it being paid. Hence his only getting SSDI based on prior work. If she divorces him, it can be structured so he lives there once the divorce is final and applies for low income disabled housing which will be basically free. Once he is in the housing, he can get the full SSI kicker to about $780 or so, scaled rent of about $100 and can request SSDI for the child in lieu of support so she would get about $220 for the child. If they can agree to work it out that way and they have not accrued significant assets that he would end up with more than an old car and little in assets. Don't spread the word. I am only supplying the info for moms benefit.

How would the child qualify for SSDI if Dad only gets SSI? My son had SSI and got SSDI when his father retired.

 

[Bali Hai]

Yes, but SSI is based on need, and his wife's income would make him ineligible for SSI. That is why its more likely that he worked just enough to get a small amount of SSDI.

Once he is divorced his SSI might go up (definitely would if he did not receive alimony).

If alimony isn't ordered, you and I will foot the bill. With the divorce made easy mindset by women, and, agreed to by some so-called men in the legislature as well, I've said society should foot the alimony bill for over a decade.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

The SSI would be to supplement the SSDI to the max SSI level. Child would be entitled to childs benefits of about the same amount as dads SSDI amount or $220.