Do I really have to pay?

[sylviat]

What is the name of your state? DC - My husband is ssi disabled (but works and gets money under the table), has filed for divorce after leaving this area 5 years ago to move in with another woman, has returned to DC and wants alimony from me. We have one child and I'd like to know does the fact that his ssi is so little (about $750 a month) and the fact that I make $50,000 a year will weigh in court even though I have been taking care of my child with little or no assistance (ssi gives about $100 a month). Will I really have to pay him? He was so abusive and I've hired a lawyer but I just want to know what you think.

[brisgirl825]

Did I read your post to mean that he has lived apart from you for 5 yrs?

[sylviat]

Yes. He just came back to the area this year and has filed for divorce, wants alimony and half of everything I have including my 401K and profit plan. He worked for a major delivery company (excellent benefits) before he became disabled and when he quit, he took all of his 401K out and his shares and SPENT THEM with his then, new girlfriend. I believe that he's on the downlow.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by sylviat

Yes. He just came back to the area this year and has filed for divorce, wants alimony and half of everything I have including my 401K and profit plan. He worked for a major delivery company (excellent benefits) before he became disabled and when he quit, he took all of his 401K out and his shares and SPENT THEM with his then, new girlfriend. I believe that he's on the downlow.

Hopefully your attorney will argue to the effect that he has been supporting himself without alimony for the last 5 years...and therefore can't demonstrate that he needs financial support from you. Also, hopefully your attorney will argue that 5 year period, as well as the fact that he spent his own 401k funds, in relationship to any split in assets.

[sylviat]

I was hoping that was the case. He told me that judges will automatically go with terminally ill patients no matter what the case and that I should just agree to give him alimony without the costs of attorneys - like I'm Sam Sausagehead. I believe that when the judge sees that he's working under the table, has lived fine while he was out of town (with another woman and another MAN (lover) for all those years and wants to mysteriously come back to get money from me is going to raise some red flags. I was also told that in DC, if you have any history whatsoever with respect to a restraining order, physical violent charges, etc., it almost eliminates any award of alimony or spousal support. Do you know if there is any fact to that or where I could/can go to verify this information?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by sylviat

I was hoping that was the case. He told me that judges will automatically go with terminally ill patients no matter what the case and that I should just agree to give him alimony without the costs of attorneys - like I'm Sam Sausagehead. I believe that when the judge sees that he's working under the table, has lived fine while he was out of town (with another woman and another MAN (lover) for all those years and wants to mysteriously come back to get money from me is going to raise some red flags. I was also told that in DC, if you have any history whatsoever with respect to a restraining order, physical violent charges, etc., it almost eliminates any award of alimony or spousal support. Do you know if there is any fact to that or where I could/can go to verify this information?

Your attorney can probably give you a better answer on that question.