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  1. #1
    Tattoodonny is offline Junior Member
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    Do men get alimony if disabled

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.
    My wife left me again this time for good. We were married for 25 years. I am disabled from the military and she has been the bread winner for the last 5 years. I haven't been able to work because of my disability. She makes about $25,000 a year. She has been taken care of me/us but now wants to be free of my illness? I can't pay the bills and her boss has already given her an appartment and utilitys (he owns them, hes a dentist). What can I do, she left me with all the bills and no way to take care of myself? Please help me. Thank you
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tattoodonny View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.
    My wife left me again this time for good. We were married for 25 years. I am disabled from the military and she has been the bread winner for the last 5 years. I haven't been able to work because of my disability. She makes about $25,000 a year. She has been taken care of me/us but now wants to be free of my illness? I can't pay the bills and her boss has already given her an appartment and utilitys (he owns them, hes a dentist). What can I do, she left me with all the bills and no way to take care of myself? Please help me. Thank you
    Do you have disability? If not, time to get it. $25000 a year is NOT a lot of money. As such you may not receive alimony/spousal support. And if you did, it would be iminimal.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tattoodonny View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.
    My wife left me again this time for good. We were married for 25 years. I am disabled from the military and she has been the bread winner for the last 5 years. I haven't been able to work because of my disability. She makes about $25,000 a year. She has been taken care of me/us but now wants to be free of my illness? I can't pay the bills and her boss has already given her an appartment and utilitys (he owns them, hes a dentist). What can I do, she left me with all the bills and no way to take care of myself? Please help me. Thank you
    You are disabled from the military and you are receiving no VA benefits or military retirement?
  4. #4
    Tattoodonny is offline Junior Member
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    I get disability

    Yes I get 50% and if anyone knows that isn't enough to live on. She left me because im always sick or in really bad pain. My body was hit with chemicals during the war, and the gov't won't admit it (just like agent orange from Viet Nam). If she has to pay me anything that would be better then nothing. So what you are saying if she only makes $25,000 a year, I'm screwed again. Not that I would or could but I now see why people just kill there spouses. I never could understand why a person would kill someone, just leave them if they are that bad, but the way I feel, I see how it could happen. I don't wish her any harm, I love (loved) her for 25 years, thru affairs, thru her abuse of me while I was in no state of mind to defend myself. And she just leaves because I can't have sex when she wants it. She is just selfish and I want to get what I can from her, even if its a $200 a month. What do I do next? I guess I should call a lawyer, but they want money. Maybe I should just kill myself and hope she gets blamed for it. I'm so lost. The medication Im on really f's with my head and I can't always think straight. Thanks to those who answered me. God bless you all.
  5. #5
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tattoodonny View Post
    Yes I get 50% and if anyone knows that isn't enough to live on. She left me because im always sick or in really bad pain. My body was hit with chemicals during the war, and the gov't won't admit it (just like agent orange from Viet Nam). If she has to pay me anything that would be better then nothing. So what you are saying if she only makes $25,000 a year, I'm screwed again. Not that I would or could but I now see why people just kill there spouses. I never could understand why a person would kill someone, just leave them if they are that bad, but the way I feel, I see how it could happen. I don't wish her any harm, I love (loved) her for 25 years, thru affairs, thru her abuse of me while I was in no state of mind to defend myself. And she just leaves because I can't have sex when she wants it. She is just selfish and I want to get what I can from her, even if its a $200 a month. What do I do next? I guess I should call a lawyer, but they want money. Maybe I should just kill myself and hope she gets blamed for it. I'm so lost. The medication Im on really f's with my head and I can't always think straight. Thanks to those who answered me. God bless you all.
    You really need to call a counselor and have yourself admitted for some help.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  6. #6
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    If you are incapable of working then you need to contact your VA rep so that you can get your case re-evaluated and hopefully get your rating increased.

    It's difficult to support ONE person on $25k/year, let alone 2.

    When marriages break down, both parties are to blame.

    I agree, you need to seek treatment right away.
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tattoodonny View Post
    Yes I get 50% and if anyone knows that isn't enough to live on. She left me because im always sick or in really bad pain. My body was hit with chemicals during the war, and the gov't won't admit it (just like agent orange from Viet Nam). If she has to pay me anything that would be better then nothing. So what you are saying if she only makes $25,000 a year, I'm screwed again. Not that I would or could but I now see why people just kill there spouses. I never could understand why a person would kill someone, just leave them if they are that bad, but the way I feel, I see how it could happen. I don't wish her any harm, I love (loved) her for 25 years, thru affairs, thru her abuse of me while I was in no state of mind to defend myself. And she just leaves because I can't have sex when she wants it. She is just selfish and I want to get what I can from her, even if its a $200 a month. What do I do next? I guess I should call a lawyer, but they want money. Maybe I should just kill myself and hope she gets blamed for it. I'm so lost. The medication Im on really f's with my head and I can't always think straight. Thanks to those who answered me. God bless you all.
    Exactly how much is your military retirement/disability a month.

    I agree with the other posters that you need to seek treatment. That is not a slam against you, you clearly need some help right now.
  8. #8
    Tattoodonny is offline Junior Member
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    Treatment

    To the one who asked how much 50% is for me its $850 a month. But when you get out of the military on medical disability they give up a severance pay, the problem with that is you have to pay it back (oh, with no interest). The severance I got will take over 20 years to pay back. I've paid for the last 15 years only 5 to go. To those who think I should be committed, I see a shrink thru the VA, but again if anyone has ever been to a VA shrink, well then you know how much they really care. Hell if they could make it in the real world why would they work for the VA. If you have no insurance or way to see a real doctor you have to go where you can. For me that is the VA. They are real good about given out medications. I have 24 pills a day I am prescribed for physical and mental problems. For those who want to cut me down, I've only done what ever I could for this woman. NEVER LAID A HAND ON HER, did cheat when I was sent overseas at 21, but at 44 I haven't since. She can't say the same, but each time I went to counseling because of children were young and I truly loved her and wanted a family in the worst way. Neither one of us had familys when we were kids. We wanted better for our kids. Now I get sick because of the Gulf War, and she leaves me and I'm not owed alimony? This country is set up for women and illegals. What happened to the USA? Send you to war, and give up on you when your no longer useful. But this site is for advice about divorce, and I guess I got it. Thank you to those who helped with there input. Hope you can help others who are in need as I was (am). God bless you
  9. #9
    frylover is offline Senior Member
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    I don't think anyone was trying to "cut you down". I think your comments about killing yourself alarmed them and they were just urging you to find help with those feelings.
  10. #10
    frylover is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    When marriages break down, both parties are to blame.
    Sorry, but I don't believe this to always be true. Sometimes people do abandon a spouse for purely selfish reasons.

    A former coworker of mine suffered a stroke in her mid thirties. After a bout a year, when it became clear she wasn't going to be 100% again, her wonderful, loving husband who had tearfully insisted he would always be there for her came home one day, tossed divorce papers at her, and told her, "I want a divorce, take the kids and go live with your parents." He wanted the beautiful and perfect wife and mother to show off to the world, the woman who would take care of everything so he didn't have to, and when the going got tough he traded her in on an "undamaged" model.

    Good riddance, actually....she met a wonderful man who doesn't mind that her speech is a little hesitant and that her gait is just a tiny bit off, and would do anything for her.
  11. #11
    Tattoodonny is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy That is it

    She is leaving me because I am not 100% healthy. Because of the med's I am on I have ED. She thinks I don't find her pretty, and that is not true. She is Beautiful. Not because I was with her for 25 years, she really is. But if any man out there has ever had or has E.D. you know that your brain just won't allow you to do what you want to do. Even with pills that help those with ED, don't always work. My brain just doesn't find any women as a sexual being. There was nothing more I wanted to do then to satisfy her, but if your body won't work, WHAT DO YOU DO? This even with our counselor explaining it to her, never sank in. It was always me not wanting her. So now she has left me and I cannot pay for this place and will be homeless soon, while she gets a free apt from her boss. I took care of this family for nearly 15 years before getting so sick I was in the hospital for months trying to figure out what was going on with my body. If it was me a man leaving my wife of 25 years would I have to pay her alimony? Shouldn't she have to pay to help me survive since she was the bread winner for the past 5 years? If not then the system is really broken. I'm just running on, thank you for those who have tried to help me with your advice. I just don't know what I can do when the lights go out, the water stops, and the landlord wants his place back? At least if I ended it all, my son would get my life insurance and he could take care of himself. He's 19, going to college and working part time. He's my worry now. I can't ask him to stop school and get another job to help dad. It don't work that way, dad is supposed to help the son. Thanks again. God Bless you all for helping...
  12. #12
    frylover is offline Senior Member
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    What people were trying to make you understand, I think, is that even if she is ordered to pay you some support, it just won't be that much on a $25,000 a year salary. That's really NOT a lot of money. That's why they were suggesting other options.
  13. #13
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Spousal support has more to do with income disparity then one spouse doing wrong to the other.
  14. #14
    WittyUserName is offline Senior Member
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    OP, please consider carefully the advice about getting help. The suicide hotline (1 800 SUICIDE) is free, and as a daughter whose parent survived a suicide attempt, I can tell you that no amount of insurance money is going to make up for what killing yourself will do to your son emotionally.

    You are in a rough place, and it's hard. Be a good parent, and take care of yourself.
  15. #15
    IrishLady47 is offline Member
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    If you cannot work at this time, please go back to the VA to see if you can get a temporary 100% rating due to unemployability. DAV or AmVets have people who can help you present your case. This would give you enough to live on and is much more reliable than depending on alimony.

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