edlerly spousal support

[tpreza]

What is the name of your state (only U.S)? Florida

My father-in-law remarried after he was widowed. Her family is trying to force through the courts him to pay spousal support ($4,000) a month to pay her assisted living costs. He had no knowledge they were placing her in the facility and has now banned him from seeing her since he is unable to pay.

Can they force him to sell his assets to pay...

Is she entitled to items from his will with his previous wife of 50 years.

During the 10 year marriage they still owned their own homes. He paid all the monthly utilities for both homes and all houshold expenses. Her money went to an account that only her daughter and her could access. They have indicated they have to money no pay her bill even though she should have over $100,000 in her account since her pension went into it and his wife never took anything out. Please can someone shed some light. There is not much out their on elderly divorce proceedings....

[Ohiogal]

Who is suing who for divorce? Your FIL needs an attorney. How much does he earn? Because he won't be made to pay $4k a month in Spousal support.

[tpreza]

FIL had to file divorce to protect himself in response to their filing for spousal support. More importantly, they were both in their seventies, had their own pensions... They think since he has a second home in NY from his previous marriage they can force him to sell it and liquidate his assets to pay it. He make the proposed amount a month for his pension.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by tpreza

FIL had to file divorce to protect himself in response to their filing for spousal support. More importantly, they were both in their seventies, had their own pensions... They think since he has a second home in NY from his previous marriage they can force him to sell it and liquidate his assets to pay it. He make the proposed amount a month for his pension.

He seriously needs an attorney. This is beyond the scope of an internet message forum.

[BlondiePB]

I agree with the dad needing an attorney.

What's perplexing me is that the couple were married for 10 years & the dad here didn't know his wife was being placed in an Assisted Living Facility.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by BlondiePB

I agree with the dad needing an attorney.

What's perplexing me is that the couple were married for 10 years & the dad here didn't know his wife was being placed in an Assisted Living Facility.

Well, he was married to his first wife for 50 years, and this one for 10. The OP says that he is in his 70's, so it has to be very late 70's. Her children may have done an end run around him.

[tuffbrk]

I don't understand the part about FIL being forced to file for divorce as they filed for SS? Unless they were separated and a pendente lite motion was filed? Quite confusing...

[tpreza]

Her family said they were taking her out for the day to get her hair done and never came back. We recommended a nurse come to the home to assist her almost 2 years prior to them taking her, she has demensia. They would never help him out. The family talked about placing the both of them in a home (location was never discussed) but we were not going to put him in a home because he does not need one. They wanted that so we would pay for it. They would not tell us where she was for over a week after they took her. A few months later they wanted money. That is when they broached the amount of 4,000 they wanted us to pay a month for her care. We are not stupid, there are other establishments available to assist her that are less costly. It has been over a year now and they filed through the courts to receive spousal support. He in no way ever abandoned her, they took her from him.

He does have an attorney, I was just looking for additional information that could assist us. The family has blown her money over the past 10 years and now expect him to pay. They even want back pay from the time she went into the home. When her house sells they will have that as well. He cannot afford that and when my mother can no longer take care of him, what money will he have to house him and his needs.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by tpreza

Her family said they were taking her out for the day to get her hair done and never came back. We recommended a nurse come to the home to assist her almost 2 years prior to them taking her, she has demensia. They would never help him out. The family talked about placing the both of them in a home (location was never discussed) but we were not going to put him in a home because he does not need one. They wanted that so we would pay for it. They would not tell us where she was for over a week after they took her. A few months later they wanted money. That is when they broached the amount of 4,000 they wanted us to pay a month for her care. We are not stupid, there are other establishments available to assist her that are less costly. It has been over a year now and they filed through the courts to receive spousal support. He in no way ever abandoned her, they took her from him.

He does have an attorney, I was just looking for additional information that could assist us. The family has blown her money over the past 10 years and now expect him to pay. They even want back pay from the time she went into the home. When her house sells they will have that as well. He cannot afford that and when my mother can no longer take care of him, what money will he have to house him and his needs.

Well, I will tell you that if someone has dementia, 4k a month is actually a very reasonable fee....and usually someone with dementia is beyond "assisted living".

I want to handle this delicately, but I have to say that I think that both families perhaps handled this poorly.

It appears that the wife was not doing well, and needed to be in a assisted living arrangement. Apparently your father, and perhaps your family was resisting this, for one reason or another, therefore the wife's family felt that they needed to do an "end run" around your father. Perhaps if they had gone into an assisted livng facility together the results would have been different.

Then, based on the law and how everything works, they needed to file for spousal support against your father. Your father approprietly filed for divorce. The courts are going to determine the "equity" of the situation.

My father died a few months ago. My mother was struggling to care for him at home (and really wasn't telling us the truth about her struggles) He fell and an ambulance had to be called, and the HOSPITAL kind of did an "end run" around mom to get him temporarily sent to a nursing home. Even my mother admitted that she thought that the hospital did it because they thought that she needed a break from caring for him. He died less than week later...which no one expected.

Anyway, my point is that I can understand if her children honestly felt like they needed to do an "end run" around her husband....and the whole legal way the whole elderly care system works would have guaranteed that they would have to go after the husband for spousal support.

Let the courts work it out. The elderly care laws honestly will be fair with your father. It may not be fair from your standpoint but it will be fair under the elderly care laws.