Ending Alimony/Family Support

[VictorWestCoast]

California (only U.S. law)?
Okay, here is the background.
Was married for 11 years. Three children.
At the time of divorce my ex didn’t have a viable job skill. I was making 100K.
This was 1995.
Since, she went back to school and got her Master Degree in Education and is now a full-time teacher in the local school district.
I faithfully paid close to 60K a year for the first 10 years. In addition I provided full health insurance for my three boys. As well as $50 per month per kid for allowance.
After those 10 years our oldest son reached his 18th birthday. (As part of the family support I paid $250 per month, per child) So when our eldest reached 18 I/We decreased the family support by $250, but then paid $300 to my son’s checking account for gas/food money.
I did the same for each of our other kids, when they reached 18, I/We reduced the support by $250 and deposited $300 into each kids checking account.
Also when they reached 16 I purchase each of them a car…used car but a car none the less. Plus I pay all of the car insurance.
So here we are, 2008. All three in college. 20, 21 and 23 years old. My middle child is going away to college He has scholarships that pay most of his expenses. The other two have various school loans that are paying their major expenses. Although my ex and I have split most of the minor school expenses. Books, tuition and parking passes.
I want to reduce the family support by 1/3, since our middle child won’t be living at home, and besides I pay ½ of all his expenses anyway…after I pay the family support.

And I don’t want to be picky but technically, unless specified in the divorce papers, shouldn’t the ex pay for school expenses, car expenses etc out of the “family support” payments? Just saying.

So adjustments to income: I now make twice as much…around 180K and she makes??? She is a teacher so probably only around 25K? The house she is living in cost $225K when we bought it in 1990. It is now worth $750K.

Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by VictorWestCoast

California (only U.S. law)?
Okay, here is the background.
Was married for 11 years. Three children.
At the time of divorce my ex didn’t have a viable job skill. I was making 100K.
This was 1995.
Since, she went back to school and got her Master Degree in Education and is now a full-time teacher in the local school district.
I faithfully paid close to 60K a year for the first 10 years. In addition I provided full health insurance for my three boys. As well as $50 per month per kid for allowance.
After those 10 years our oldest son reached his 18th birthday. (As part of the family support I paid $250 per month, per child) So when our eldest reached 18 I/We decreased the family support by $250, but then paid $300 to my son’s checking account for gas/food money.
I did the same for each of our other kids, when they reached 18, I/We reduced the support by $250 and deposited $300 into each kids checking account.
Also when they reached 16 I purchase each of them a car…used car but a car none the less. Plus I pay all of the car insurance.
So here we are, 2008. All three in college. 20, 21 and 23 years old. My middle child is going away to college He has scholarships that pay most of his expenses. The other two have various school loans that are paying their major expenses. Although my ex and I have split most of the minor school expenses. Books, tuition and parking passes.
I want to reduce the family support by 1/3, since our middle child won’t be living at home, and besides I pay ½ of all his expenses anyway…after I pay the family support.

And I don’t want to be picky but technically, unless specified in the divorce papers, shouldn’t the ex pay for school expenses, car expenses etc out of the “family support” payments? Just saying.

So adjustments to income: I now make twice as much…around 180K and she makes??? She is a teacher so probably only around 25K? The house she is living in cost $225K when we bought it in 1990. It is now worth $750K.

Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated.

She probably makes more than 25k. How much more depends on how many years she has been teaching. The master's degree is what pretty much guarantees that she is making more than 25k.

That being said, your situation is complex, and the income disparity is so huge, that you really shouldn't be relying on answers from an internet message forum.

That whole "family support" bit also throws a spanner into the works. I suspect that you did that so that your child support (non-tax deductible) and your spousal support (tax deductible to you, taxable income to her) was high. If so, it's a darned good thing you didn't get audited, because that would have bit you in the butt, and will complicate things now.

If you have been deducting the family support, and its linked to the children emancipating, then you have been committing tax fraud (I am a tax professional).

If you have been deducting the family support, then its also going to be difficult for you to demonstrate that it was really child support, and should be ending as the children emancipate, rather than alimony.

250.00 a month per child, at your income level, was pennies on the dollar for a standard child support calculation.

You need a consult with a local attorney, with all of your paperwork in hand.

You have to also look at the totality of the circumstances. I suspect that you are still on the mortgage for the house...I don't see how you cannot be unless it was a 15 year loan. Therefore her ability to continue to make the mortgage payment will directly effect your credit.

Which all leads back to the fact that you need answers from a local attorney (and potentially a tax professional as well) before you start messing with things.

[tuffbrk]

$750 per month in CS and he was making $100k? That sums to $9k...no mention of health insurance costs but mentions paying allowance?! And yet claims to have spent $60k for the first 10 yrs? I'm lost?! Even with the "allowance" it only calcs to $10,800.

At $100k, figure at least $25k for taxes, health bene's, etc. which would leave $75k net and he claims he was shelling out $60k? Where did the other $50k go? How/where did he live on $15k?!

Something's off in the post...

[PuppyLuv]

What exactly was part of the Court Order when you finalized your divorce. I'll give you a word to the wise, if it's not on file with the court, all these "allowances" you've been giving the kids don't count towards any support figures as far as the court is concerned.

Thanks to our lovely CA Senate, there is a SB415 that states a reduction in child support constitues a change of circumstance, so this opens you up for her to Motion to Change Spousal Support. Since you were in a long-term marriage, until the COURT gives up their right to re-visit through a termination forever and ever amen ruling, it is very possible that you will go 'round and 'round until the court is convinced that they've given her every opportunity to become self-sufficient (at the level of living, also determined by the court), at which time it could be 1) the income she is earning is sufficient, 2) she is ineligible to ever be sufficient. If the court determines that she is capable, but unwilling to be sufficient, in which case her income is imputted - back to #1.

If you still have your name on ANYthing after all these years, you need to get that fixed post haste! All the division of properties should have happened at the time of the divorce, and if the property settlement was biforcated, you need to get back to that property settlement.

In any case, that is just a few comments off of the top of my head -- purely my interpretation of all the stuff I've read on this 'crap'

And can I tell you, I am and always have been a self-supporting woman. I have friends who are self-supporting. I also have friends that have been the 'stay at home wife' and been "screwed" into buying into happily ever after only to find out that they are on their own again. It's a sad cynical world out there -- but, sorry to tell you gals -- at a certain point you gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps - combine your assets and live cheaper like the Golden Girls and as George Strait sings - Let Yourself Go !