Ending SS

[dew_lover57]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa, Is it possible to end spousal support? My ex and I did a pro-se divorce and during our negotiation process we put in spousal support for a limited time. When she went to the courthouse to file she hand wrote in she would like the judge to change it to lifetime. Up till this time everything was on track and to prevent the divorce from taking a turn and the judge suggesting we get attorneys I agreed to submit an addendum changing that part to lifetime (I know, I'm stupid). Since the divorce was final (Feb 2008) I have heard from several people that I should have left it the way it was and the judge most likely would have accepted the limited time support and that most if not all the time spousal support is not ordered anymore. What are my chances of getting the spousal support terminated, and yes I know if I proceed I will need to hire an attorney to do this. I ask only because if I fail I'm sure I will have to pay her attorneys fees, not just mine. Since the divorce she has started receiving either SSI or SSDI, she "claims" to be to disabled to work.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by dew_lover57

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa, Is it possible to end spousal support? My ex and I did a pro-se divorce and during our negotiation process we put in spousal support for a limited time. When she went to the courthouse to file she hand wrote in she would like the judge to change it to lifetime. Up till this time everything was on track and to prevent the divorce from taking a turn and the judge suggesting we get attorneys I agreed to submit an addendum changing that part to lifetime (I know, I'm stupid). Since the divorce was final (Feb 2008) I have heard from several people that I should have left it the way it was and the judge most likely would have accepted the limited time support and that most if not all the time spousal support is not ordered anymore. What are my chances of getting the spousal support terminated, and yes I know if I proceed I will need to hire an attorney to do this. I ask only because if I fail I'm sure I will have to pay her attorneys fees, not just mine. Since the divorce she has started receiving either SSI or SSDI, she "claims" to be to disabled to work.

You absolutely need to talk to an attorney. You agreed to lifetime spousal support and if the orders don't state that its modifiable, its generally not modifiable.

Please do take all of your paperwork and get a consult with an attorney who can give you a more realistic answer...based on all the facts.

Also, just FYI, no one could possibly live on SSI alone, and unless someone had a very strong and long work history, living on SSDI alone might not be possible either.

[Proserpina]

How long was the marriage?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

How long was the marriage?

Apparently long enough where the wife knew how to deceive and surreptitiously screw him out of his hard earned money for life!

[dew_lover57]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Apparently long enough where the wife knew how to deceive and surreptitiously screw him out of his hard earned money for life!

The marriage lasted way to long, 23 years. And amen to your comment Bali Hai.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by dew_lover57

The marriage lasted way to long, 23 years. And amen to your comment Bali Hai.

You allowed the screwing to happen.

[dew_lover57]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

You allowed the screwing to happen.

I wanted the marriage to be over, the hell had lasted way to long already. I DID manage to get one thing added to the agreement that she had been refusing to put in. When it was changed to be lifetime I demanded to add that should she remarry the SS will terminate.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by dew_lover57

I wanted the marriage to be over, the hell had lasted way to long already. I DID manage to get one thing added to the agreement that she had been refusing to put in. When it was changed to be lifetime I demanded to add that should she remarry the SS will terminate.

So now she will just live with someone else and not marry them.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by dew_lover57

I wanted the marriage to be over, the hell had lasted way to long already. I DID manage to get one thing added to the agreement that she had been refusing to put in. When it was changed to be lifetime I demanded to add that should she remarry the SS will terminate.

OG is absolutely right - that doesn't stop her from living with someone else....

You might want to consider a "no cohabitation" clause. Even then though it might be tricky - it's not overly difficult to be effectively living with someone without actually meeting the cohabitation definition, y'know?

[dew_lover57]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

OG is absolutely right - that doesn't stop her from living with someone else....

You might want to consider a "no cohabitation" clause. Even then though it might be tricky - it's not overly difficult to be effectively living with someone without actually meeting the cohabitation definition, y'know?

She's not the type to just want to live with someone. And I think it's probably a little late for the "No Cohabitation" clause. The divorce was final in Feb 2008. Thanks for advice everyone but I think I'm pretty much screwed. Oh and for those who told me she couldn't live on SSDI, she was living on less than that for over a year.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by dew_lover57

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa, Is it possible to end spousal support? My ex and I did a pro-se divorce and during our negotiation process we put in spousal support for a limited time. When she went to the courthouse to file she hand wrote in she would like the judge to change it to lifetime. Up till this time everything was on track and to prevent the divorce from taking a turn and the judge suggesting we get attorneys I agreed to submit an addendum changing that part to lifetime (I know, I'm stupid). Since the divorce was final (Feb 2008) I have heard from several people that I should have left it the way it was and the judge most likely would have accepted the limited time support and that most if not all the time spousal support is not ordered anymore. What are my chances of getting the spousal support terminated, and yes I know if I proceed I will need to hire an attorney to do this. I ask only because if I fail I'm sure I will have to pay her attorneys fees, not just mine. Since the divorce she has started receiving either SSI or SSDI, she "claims" to be to disabled to work.

It's really not easy to get disability; if it has been awarded you can pretty safely guarantee that she is actually unable to work.

(though it's probably a semantic difference I'd bet my last quarter that your ex would say she had been "existing" on that low amount; not "living" but merely existing. From her perspective there might be a huge difference between the two)

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

OG is absolutely right - that doesn't stop her from living with someone else....

You might want to consider a "no cohabitation" clause. Even then though it might be tricky - it's not overly difficult to be effectively living with someone without actually meeting the cohabitation definition, y'know?

It is too late for that...the divorce was final in February.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

It is too late for that...the divorce was final in February.

Sorry 'bout that. Apparently the pup ran off with the family brain-cell - I was obviously not using it