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07-01-2009, 07:45 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4
| | | Ending SS
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa, Is it possible to end spousal support? My ex and I did a pro-se divorce and during our negotiation process we put in spousal support for a limited time. When she went to the courthouse to file she hand wrote in she would like the judge to change it to lifetime. Up till this time everything was on track and to prevent the divorce from taking a turn and the judge suggesting we get attorneys I agreed to submit an addendum changing that part to lifetime (I know, I'm stupid). Since the divorce was final (Feb 2008) I have heard from several people that I should have left it the way it was and the judge most likely would have accepted the limited time support and that most if not all the time spousal support is not ordered anymore. What are my chances of getting the spousal support terminated, and yes I know if I proceed I will need to hire an attorney to do this. I ask only because if I fail I'm sure I will have to pay her attorneys fees, not just mine. Since the divorce she has started receiving either SSI or SSDI, she "claims" to be to disabled to work. |
07-01-2009, 08:31 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 40,876
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by dew_lover57  What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa, Is it possible to end spousal support? My ex and I did a pro-se divorce and during our negotiation process we put in spousal support for a limited time. When she went to the courthouse to file she hand wrote in she would like the judge to change it to lifetime. Up till this time everything was on track and to prevent the divorce from taking a turn and the judge suggesting we get attorneys I agreed to submit an addendum changing that part to lifetime (I know, I'm stupid). Since the divorce was final (Feb 2008) I have heard from several people that I should have left it the way it was and the judge most likely would have accepted the limited time support and that most if not all the time spousal support is not ordered anymore. What are my chances of getting the spousal support terminated, and yes I know if I proceed I will need to hire an attorney to do this. I ask only because if I fail I'm sure I will have to pay her attorneys fees, not just mine. Since the divorce she has started receiving either SSI or SSDI, she "claims" to be to disabled to work. | You absolutely need to talk to an attorney. You agreed to lifetime spousal support and if the orders don't state that its modifiable, its generally not modifiable.
Please do take all of your paperwork and get a consult with an attorney who can give you a more realistic answer...based on all the facts.
Also, just FYI, no one could possibly live on SSI alone, and unless someone had a very strong and long work history, living on SSDI alone might not be possible either.
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in vino veritas |
07-01-2009, 08:50 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 5,832
| | | How long was the marriage?
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Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo....and yes, I'm a child of Persephone | |
07-02-2009, 08:08 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,201
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique How long was the marriage? | Apparently long enough where the wife knew how to deceive and surreptitiously screw him out of his hard earned money for life! |
07-03-2009, 02:45 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Bali Hai Apparently long enough where the wife knew how to deceive and surreptitiously screw him out of his hard earned money for life! | The marriage lasted way to long, 23 years. And amen to your comment Bali Hai. |
07-03-2009, 02:55 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,365
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by dew_lover57 The marriage lasted way to long, 23 years. And amen to your comment Bali Hai. | You allowed the screwing to happen.
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Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.
Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
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07-03-2009, 03:03 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogal You allowed the screwing to happen. | I wanted the marriage to be over, the hell had lasted way to long already. I DID manage to get one thing added to the agreement that she had been refusing to put in. When it was changed to be lifetime I demanded to add that should she remarry the SS will terminate. |
07-03-2009, 03:15 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,365
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by dew_lover57 I wanted the marriage to be over, the hell had lasted way to long already. I DID manage to get one thing added to the agreement that she had been refusing to put in. When it was changed to be lifetime I demanded to add that should she remarry the SS will terminate. | So now she will just live with someone else and not marry them.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.
Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
|
07-03-2009, 03:38 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 5,832
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by dew_lover57 I wanted the marriage to be over, the hell had lasted way to long already. I DID manage to get one thing added to the agreement that she had been refusing to put in. When it was changed to be lifetime I demanded to add that should she remarry the SS will terminate. | OG is absolutely right - that doesn't stop her from living with someone else....
You might want to consider a "no cohabitation" clause. Even then though it might be tricky - it's not overly difficult to be effectively living with someone without actually meeting the cohabitation definition, y'know?
__________________ *****************************
Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo....and yes, I'm a child of Persephone | |
07-03-2009, 04:25 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique OG is absolutely right - that doesn't stop her from living with someone else....
You might want to consider a "no cohabitation" clause. Even then though it might be tricky - it's not overly difficult to be effectively living with someone without actually meeting the cohabitation definition, y'know? | She's not the type to just want to live with someone. And I think it's probably a little late for the "No Cohabitation" clause. The divorce was final in Feb 2008. Thanks for advice everyone but I think I'm pretty much screwed. Oh and for those who told me she couldn't live on SSDI, she was living on less than that for over a year. |
07-03-2009, 06:19 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 5,832
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by dew_lover57 What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa, Is it possible to end spousal support? My ex and I did a pro-se divorce and during our negotiation process we put in spousal support for a limited time. When she went to the courthouse to file she hand wrote in she would like the judge to change it to lifetime. Up till this time everything was on track and to prevent the divorce from taking a turn and the judge suggesting we get attorneys I agreed to submit an addendum changing that part to lifetime (I know, I'm stupid). Since the divorce was final (Feb 2008) I have heard from several people that I should have left it the way it was and the judge most likely would have accepted the limited time support and that most if not all the time spousal support is not ordered anymore. What are my chances of getting the spousal support terminated, and yes I know if I proceed I will need to hire an attorney to do this. I ask only because if I fail I'm sure I will have to pay her attorneys fees, not just mine. Since the divorce she has started receiving either SSI or SSDI, she "claims" to be to disabled to work. | It's really not easy to get disability; if it has been awarded you can pretty safely guarantee that she is actually unable to work.
(though it's probably a semantic difference I'd bet my last quarter that your ex would say she had been "existing" on that low amount; not "living" but merely existing. From her perspective there might be a huge difference between the two)
__________________ *****************************
Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo....and yes, I'm a child of Persephone | |
07-03-2009, 06:50 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 40,876
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique OG is absolutely right - that doesn't stop her from living with someone else....
You might want to consider a "no cohabitation" clause. Even then though it might be tricky - it's not overly difficult to be effectively living with someone without actually meeting the cohabitation definition, y'know? | It is too late for that...the divorce was final in February.
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in vino veritas |
07-03-2009, 07:24 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 5,832
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by LdiJ It is too late for that...the divorce was final in February. | Sorry 'bout that. Apparently the pup ran off with the family brain-cell - I was obviously not using it 
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