ex and alimony

[cdstand]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
Marriage was just shy of 20 years. His mistress was 20 years younger than me. His new life with her began while still married to me. He moved our family money around using "their" address and left me to "go think a while" during hurricane Ivan which put an 80 ft. pine tree through the roof of our home. I had learned of the mistress and knew what he was "thinking" while he was gone so I changed the locks called a lawyer and had all his cloths pictures diplomas etc boxed neatly in the garage when he finally returned. When he returned I was in the back yard with a chain saw trying to get the tree off the house. He was angry he couldn't get inside so I let him in and told him I knew what was going on. I asked if he wanted to go to counseling. He told me I was just no longer attractive to him. Fast forward 5years. He remarried not once but twice. New 30 something wife with 2 kids from previous marriage now gives him a child. The divorce gave me $1500 a month to pay mortgage and continue until I remarryas permanent periodic alimony. Now he is tired of paying alimony. He hasn't paid in 2 months and am about to loose my home. Filed Motion for Contempt pro sec. He sends a letter to the judge telling of his new life smaller bonuses cut in stock options and new baby. He wants a cut in alimony. Any advise?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by cdstand

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
Marriage was just shy of 20 years. His mistress was 20 years younger than me. His new life with her began while still married to me. He moved our family money around using "their" address and left me to "go think a while" during hurricane Ivan which put an 80 ft. pine tree through the roof of our home. I had learned of the mistress and knew what he was "thinking" while he was gone so I changed the locks called a lawyer and had all his cloths pictures diplomas etc boxed neatly in the garage when he finally returned. When he returned I was in the back yard with a chain saw trying to get the tree off the house. He was angry he couldn't get inside so I let him in and told him I knew what was going on. I asked if he wanted to go to counseling. He told me I was just no longer attractive to him. Fast forward 5years. He remarried not once but twice. New 30 something wife with 2 kids from previous marriage now gives him a child. The divorce gave me $1500 a month to pay mortgage and continue until I remarryas permanent periodic alimony. Now he is tired of paying alimony. He hasn't paid in 2 months and am about to loose my home. Filed Motion for Contempt pro sec. He sends a letter to the judge telling of his new life smaller bonuses cut in stock options and new baby. He wants a cut in alimony. Any advise?

yes. object. and look into making more money so when he does this again (and he will) you aren't in this position again. want the money, don't NEED it.

[cdstand]

Thank you for your reply. I do work and very hard. To re-enter the work force at my age I started at 6/hr. and yes, I flipped burgers. Now I can pay living expenses but not the mortgage. House market here sucks and have tried to hang on until it turns around so I can sell even at just a pay off amount. But please don't think I don't work. I got that pine tree out of my yard by myself. It took 6 weeks but all journeys begin with the first step. My ex has taken enough from me and my family and he still wants the whole enchalada...which is me gone. He has tried to run me off the road about 5 times now and guess he thinks homeless is next best. I will object no doubt. Thank you again.

[nextwife]

Instead of almost losing your house, did you consider getting a roommate? I've house shared WAY beyond college age, and it brought a lot of financial benefit.

[cdstand]

Yes I did consider a roommate. Several considerations nonetheless being my home is still not in best shape from the contractor hired to do repairs. That's another legal matter that shot me in the foot. Even contacted the Attorney Generals office in Tallahassee. They gave me their condolences. The other consideration is a co-worker who is having to come up with $300.00 to file eviction against her roommate who turned out to be a drinker who chose not to work for more than booze money. If I can't pick the right husband then I'm on shakey ground with a roommate! Have a dog and he doesn't work either. I'm not emotionally attached to the house, it's just the only thing I have left to sell that could possibly give me a savings. I have no savings (he ran off with that) no insurance 401K etc. Am trying work on the house on days off so I can sell. That's it. That's all I have except for my dog. Thought I might try Habitate For Humanity to see if they might help finish my house. Will try to reach them on my day off this week. If ex doesn't pay the back alimony and current alimony it's a mute point. Have been told if he shows up with an attorney the case will be thrown to a Judge. Delay delay delay the day.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by cdstand

Yes I did consider a roommate. Several considerations nonetheless being my home is still not in best shape from the contractor hired to do repairs. That's another legal matter that shot me in the foot. Even contacted the Attorney Generals office in Tallahassee. They gave me their condolences. The other consideration is a co-worker who is having to come up with $300.00 to file eviction against her roommate who turned out to be a drinker who chose not to work for more than booze money. If I can't pick the right husband then I'm on shakey ground with a roommate! Have a dog and he doesn't work either. I'm not emotionally attached to the house, it's just the only thing I have left to sell that could possibly give me a savings. I have no savings (he ran off with that) no insurance 401K etc. Am trying work on the house on days off so I can sell. That's it. That's all I have except for my dog. Thought I might try Habitate For Humanity to see if they might help finish my house. Will try to reach them on my day off this week. If ex doesn't pay the back alimony and current alimony it's a mute point. Have been told if he shows up with an attorney the case will be thrown to a Judge. Delay delay delay the day.

You really should consider the roommate idea. You should also consider a second job if you do not have children at home that need you.

Every bit you can come up with will help you avoid foreclosure.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by cdstand

Yes I did consider a roommate. Several considerations nonetheless being my home is still not in best shape from the contractor hired to do repairs. That's another legal matter that shot me in the foot. Even contacted the Attorney Generals office in Tallahassee. They gave me their condolences. The other consideration is a co-worker who is having to come up with $300.00 to file eviction against her roommate who turned out to be a drinker who chose not to work for more than booze money. If I can't pick the right husband then I'm on shakey ground with a roommate! Have a dog and he doesn't work either. I'm not emotionally attached to the house, it's just the only thing I have left to sell that could possibly give me a savings. I have no savings (he ran off with that) no insurance 401K etc. Am trying work on the house on days off so I can sell. That's it. That's all I have except for my dog. Thought I might try Habitate For Humanity to see if they might help finish my house. Will try to reach them on my day off this week. If ex doesn't pay the back alimony and current alimony it's a mute point. Have been told if he shows up with an attorney the case will be thrown to a Judge. Delay delay delay the day.

References, background checks, etc can help prevent such problems. I had three different roomies, carefully screened, and never had a problem. besides, 300 is one months payment (less than). A second job to at least finish the work also makes sebse. I'm 54 and I'd do any and all of those things if not doing them put my home at risk.

If he had a stroke, or got hit by a bus tomorrow, you need a better plan than being so dependent on what he pays. If he pays, fine, but you need to be able to get by without his help, because he could wake up tomorrow with a terminal brain tumor, and you need to be able to function just fine without him.