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Ex-Spouse and military retirement pay

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tuffbrk

Senior Member
Just curious, how exactly do you KNOW this? Did you ask her?
My STBX who is an alimony hopeful has said that he can't wait to receive monthly checks from me simply because it keeps me tied to him and that he'll know that I had to think about him while writing the check. Some people just can't move on and have little to no pride.

Thankfully, Im in the corporate world and my company will set up a monthly wire to his bank account if he does get it awarded...
 


Xrandy

Junior Member
Irishlady,

I plan on using your advice actually, and thank you very much. Sorry if I gave you the impression that I was blowing you off.
 

jhughey

Junior Member
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong On All Counts

I will address your misguided comments in reverse order:

a: HE is not being childish and petty, SHE is. She just wants to hang onto him and keep in contact with him so she is forcing him to send her a check each month -- for the rest of his life. She could be receiving her money directly from DFAS but chooses not to. Why?

b: you are correct that she cannot withhold alimony payments in lieu of visitation. However, he didn't say that. He said he wanted his visitation to be as smooth as possible, I assume for the sake of his child. Smart man.

c: The military retirement is NOT alimony. It is a "property award" so stop calling it alimony. In addition, if she does not get the money sent directly to her, HE is being charged with all the taxes on that income. Not fair to him.

c: If the quoted passage fromt the decree that he wrote is correct, I believe withholding the money is the right course of action. It does not say he must send it to her. The normal procedure is for the ex-spouse to submit the proper forms to DFAS to have the money sent directly to her, and she would be taxed accordingly. Withholding voluntary payment would force her to get it directly from DFAS, which is NOT a "garnishment". It is simply an application under the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act. Look it up.



Yes, you would be violating your court order. Who gets the check? You do. So yes, you are responsible to send the portion to her, until/unless you manage to get the decree changed. The decree doesn't tell her to get a garnishment, does it? It's your job to send it.

Money and "visitation" are two different animals in family court. She can't withhold your son from you (during your court-ordered parenting time) because of money. And you can't withhold money to punish her for whatever she may have done on a custody issue. So you have no reason to pay alimony as a means to see your son -- you pay alimony because you are court-ordered to do it, and she provides you with your son because she is court-ordered to do it. They aren't connected.

You're acting like a kid on this alimony check issue. I'm surprised...the military men I know aren't childish and petty. :rolleyes:
 

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