Excessive Alimony in NC, No End Date...help!

[Salvager]

Okay, my ex was approved for Disability last March. I have been trying to get her in court since last June 08 after she received her first check in May of 08. We finally got to go back to court last week and the Judge gave her more and not less. I know getting ahead of myself. She gets Disability for herself of $1001.00 and the two boys for $250.00 each, so $500.00, so in total $1500.00. After doing the calculations my child support is roughly $680.00 which I can live with and never have balked at Child Support. She also got $43,000.00 back in back pay from Disability since it took 4 years to obtain. She has ZERO Debt! She lives in a house that is double the size and cost of out marital property and her expenses have gone thru the roof from when we were married, she has tripled her standard of living. The Judge ordered that I pay her $1000.00 a month in Alimony and then after my son’s age out of CS that it becomes alimony. WITH NO END DAY! So she is getting a total of $3180.00 now, then $2680.00 after the children turn 18 for life. While the Judge only left me with less than $1450.00 a month. I have documented roof she has increased her standard of living from tax records of the values of the house, her cell phones, Internet and cable to an absorbent amount of entertainment expenses. I am in the whole$1200.00 a month just in my mortgage, bills and true living expenses. She has a ton of money in the bank, $36,000.00. With a very wealthy father that gives her money left and right. I have no money in savings and ordered to pay her high price Attorney bills as well. This is a court order, what can I do?

Can I appeal it? What steps do I need to take? Is there a 10 day time limit on filing for an appeal? Anyone have any good advice on how I can get this reduced so I can live and not have to lose my own house?

[Ohiogal]

When was the decision made? What were the findings of fact of the decision?

[Salvager]

It was made the end of last week, on Friday. Findings were based she was a dependant & now a disabled spouse.

[Salvager]

I would like to add she has 2 degrees and is a Register Nurse. She can make great money, but has decidd not to! She is no more disabled than you or I. That is the kicker. It took the state 4 years to determine she was disabled and unknowingly to me, she filled out the paper work a month prior to our separation. I was ordered to pay PSS of the mortgage payment of the marital home until it was sold and then took me back and ordered to pay $900.00 until she got a response from the Disability Hearing. She got it and is receiving Disability payments of above.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Salvager

I would like to add she has 2 degrees and is a Register Nurse. She can make great money, but has decidd not to! She is no more disabled than you or I. That is the kicker. It took the state 4 years to determine she was disabled and unknowingly to me, she filled out the paper work a month prior to our separation. I was ordered to pay PSS of the mortgage payment of the marital home until it was sold and then took me back and ordered to pay $900.00 until she got a response from the Disability Hearing. She got it and is receiving Disability payments of above.

If the SSA has ruled that she is disabled, then you cannot make the argument (at least not legally) that she is not.

[Salvager]

Okay, I get I can't prove she is not Disabled. But can I take her back for her expenses now being way over what they were during our marriage? That she has increased her standard of living by 3 times the amount? Also the Judge gave no regard for my expenses and basically ahs told me not to pay things since they are set. I did not fudge or lie about any of my expenses and have proof of them. They are the same, well maybe up by 5% since our separation date. Hers are triple!

Can I fight the “No End Date”? I mean to factor in $1200.00 a month for life, how can you retire and do that? I am not a CEO of AIG or even close.
Also is there a time limit to appeal?

Please any help here, places to go read to just have options.

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by Salvager

I would like to add she has 2 degrees and is a Register Nurse. She can make great money, but has decidd not to! She is no more disabled than you or I. That is the kicker. It took the state 4 years to determine she was disabled and unknowingly to me, she filled out the paper work a month prior to our separation. I was ordered to pay PSS of the mortgage payment of the marital home until it was sold and then took me back and ordered to pay $900.00 until she got a response from the Disability Hearing. She got it and is receiving Disability payments of above.

Believe me, it's just not that easy to fool the government about disability - it's actually more than a little difficult to be approved for SSDI. She must have had enough medical evidence to prove her disability. (for what it's worth she was under no obligation to inform you that she'd started the process, even while you were still married).

Anyway, one question.

How long were you married?

[CourtClerk]

Here's what you left out: how long were you married?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Salvager

Okay, I get I can't prove she is not Disabled. But can I take her back for her expenses now being way over what they were during our marriage? That she has increased her standard of living by 3 times the amount? Also the Judge gave no regard for my expenses and basically ahs told me not to pay things since they are set. I did not fudge or lie about any of my expenses and have proof of them. They are the same, well maybe up by 5% since our separation date. Hers are triple!

Can I fight the “No End Date”? I mean to factor in $1200.00 a month for life, how can you retire and do that? I am not a CEO of AIG or even close.
Also is there a time limit to appeal?

Please any help here, places to go read to just have options.

Successfully appealing and vacating a trial court's "discretionary" decision will be very difficult. This is especially true regarding alimony in the state of Florida. There are many many horror stories about Florida on various websites about this.

The reason that others are asking how long the marriage was, is because the judge uses that information to determine how long you kept this poor woman oppressed from the job market and barefoot and pregnant. This ups the ante on how much they take from you and give to her. You OWE her for the best years of her life that she gave to you. It doesn't matter if she is better off or worse off than you.

You mention "how can you retire and pay $1200/ month for life"? The simple answer to that is the court doesn't care about you or your needs.