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Financial Obligations??

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kpepperz

Member
What is the name of your state? IL
I am posting this for my dad. Brief background...he's been married to my stepmom for almost 16 years, she's having an "emotional affair" (as she calls it) with another man for the past 2 years, and my dad has tired working things out with her, but the situation is getting worse. She's never really worked (her choice,and she is quite able to work), does not drive, cook or clean. They got their tax return back, and she insisted on half of it to pay her credit card and some medical bills. She is planning something drastic soon, because she now refuses to use the money to pay her bills, and my dad has a few questions:

1) He just found out she has 4 credit cards that are in her name only. He has not signed any applications for them, and obviously any balances on them are not his. In the event of separation or divorce, is he responsible for them?

2) Their apartment lease is in both their names. Can either party change the locks and keep the other one out? (I think I know the answer to this one, but I told him I'd ask anyway).

3) She has many medical bills and bill collectors are calling the house all the time. My dad's insurance paid most of the stuff, and what's left is the copays. The bill collectors will only talk to her, not him. Will he be responsible for these?

4) With regard to working...she refuses to work, stating she is "disabled", but yet she holds a position of treasurer or secretary (I am not sure which) on a board of directors of a corporation. Can this be used as proof that she is able to work and hold down a position in order to secure gainful employment?

5) Is he required, at this point in time, to leave money available to her, out of his income? He pays the rent, the bills, groceries, and clothing. SHe has an inheritance from her dad that she refuses to use, even when my dad was out of work for almost a month. They used to get $75 a week each for allowance, and he has been wanting to lower the amount to catch up on bills, but everytime he tries, she goes ballistic.

I would appreciate any advice on this. Please keep sarcasm and nasty comments to a minimum....I know he's an idiot for putting up with her and I am glad he is finally doing something about it.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
kpepperz said:
What is the name of your state? IL
I am posting this for my dad. Brief background...he's been married to my stepmom for almost 16 years, she's having an "emotional affair" (as she calls it) with another man for the past 2 years, and my dad has tired working things out with her, but the situation is getting worse. She's never really worked (her choice,and she is quite able to work), does not drive, cook or clean. They got their tax return back, and she insisted on half of it to pay her credit card and some medical bills. She is planning something drastic soon, because she now refuses to use the money to pay her bills, and my dad has a few questions:

1) He just found out she has 4 credit cards that are in her name only. He has not signed any applications for them, and obviously any balances on them are not his. In the event of separation or divorce, is he responsible for them?
The are probably going to be considered to be marital debt....so yes, he is probably going to be responsible for a share of that debt. However, since she doesn't work there is a strong chance that he is on those cards even if he didn't sign the applications. He needs to check that out. If the cards were obtained using his credit he could have a problem and should cancel them.

2) Their apartment lease is in both their names. Can either party change the locks and keep the other one out? (I think I know the answer to this one, but I told him I'd ask anyway).
Nope

3) She has many medical bills and bill collectors are calling the house all the time. My dad's insurance paid most of the stuff, and what's left is the copays. The bill collectors will only talk to her, not him. Will he be responsible for these?
Again, they are probably going to be considered to be marital debt.

4) With regard to working...she refuses to work, stating she is "disabled", but yet she holds a position of treasurer or secretary (I am not sure which) on a board of directors of a corporation. Can this be used as proof that she is able to work and hold down a position in order to secure gainful employment?
Whether she can work or not, there is a reasonable probability that your dad is going to have to pay some alimony. 16 years is a long time to be out of the workforce.

5) Is he required, at this point in time, to leave money available to her, out of his income? He pays the rent, the bills, groceries, and clothing. SHe has an inheritance from her dad that she refuses to use, even when my dad was out of work for almost a month. They used to get $75 a week each for allowance, and he has been wanting to lower the amount to catch up on bills, but everytime he tries, she goes ballistic.
No, he isn't required to give her any money at all at this point....he shouldn't pay her credit card bills either (assuming he first verifies that she didn't fraudulently put him on the cards). She has money, let her use it.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
No, he isn't required to give her any money at all at this point....he shouldn't pay her credit card bills either (assuming he first verifies that she didn't fraudulently put him on the cards). Don't you mean "did"
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
No, he isn't required to give her any money at all at this point....he shouldn't pay her credit card bills either (assuming he first verifies that she didn't fraudulently put him on the cards). She has money, let her use i

How do you figure that? They are still legally married.????????
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
--PARIDISE-- said:
No, he isn't required to give her any money at all at this point....he shouldn't pay her credit card bills either (assuming he first verifies that she didn't fraudulently put him on the cards). She has money, let her use i

How do you figure that? They are still legally married.????????
your first question: If the credit cards have his name on them then he needs to pay them to protect his credit. That is why I said (assuming she DIDN'T fraudulently put him on the credit cards)..ie, its safe to not pay them if she DID NOT put him on the cards....it won't ruin his credit if she doesn't use her own money to pay them...it will just hurt hers.

your second question: What legal requirement is there that a spouse must give the other spouse money to pay their own personal bills and for spending money? None without a court order. She has her own money...let her spend it. He is probably going to get stuck with most of the marital debt, and end up paying some alimony too...soon enough...so he might as well use the extra to pay down bills now.
 

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