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Holding back alimony

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Lot249

Junior Member
New Jersey

My daughter divorced her husband 3 years ago and receives alimony and child support. She and her children (15 and 13) continue to live in the house she and her ex-husband purchased when they married.
Her divorce agreement states that she cannot live in that house with another man while she receives alimony payments. If she does, he can withhold his alimony. Part of her alimony is required to maintain the house expenses and mortgage. Her current working income cannot cover these expenses without the alimony contribution.
It doesn’t seem logical that he has the legal right to dictate where or with whom she can cohabitate. He no longer has equity in the house because I gave him a check for the full amount of his equity one year after their divorce.
Am I correct in my opinion that he cannot withhold his alimony if she decided to live with another man in her house?
 


New Jersey

My daughter divorced her husband 3 years ago and receives alimony and child support. She and her children (15 and 13) continue to live in the house she and her ex-husband purchased when they married.
Her divorce agreement states that she cannot live in that house with another man while she receives alimony payments. If she does, he can withhold his alimony.

...

Am I correct in my opinion that he cannot withhold his alimony if she decided to live with another man in her house?
You said the agreement states that your daughter cannot live in that house with another man while she receives alimony payments. If she does, then the ex-husband can withhold alimony.

By the way, how do you think this "man" whom your daughter would want to co-habitate with would treat the two children (15 and 13)? Like his own two children? Don't you think this would create more legal headaches, and more trauma for the children?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
New Jersey

My daughter divorced her husband 3 years ago and receives alimony and child support. She and her children (15 and 13) continue to live in the house she and her ex-husband purchased when they married.
Her divorce agreement states that she cannot live in that house with another man while she receives alimony payments. If she does, he can withhold his alimony. Part of her alimony is required to maintain the house expenses and mortgage. Her current working income cannot cover these expenses without the alimony contribution.
It doesn’t seem logical that he has the legal right to dictate where or with whom she can cohabitate. He no longer has equity in the house because I gave him a check for the full amount of his equity one year after their divorce.
Am I correct in my opinion that he cannot withhold his alimony if she decided to live with another man in her house?


...the decree says she cannot cohabit while she receives alimony and if she does, he can withhold the payments.

That's pretty self-explanatory.

It doesn't seem logical that a woman who is cohabiting (and thus enjoying the benefits of a second income) should remain supported by her ex-spouse...see where I'm coming from?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
New Jersey

My daughter divorced her husband 3 years ago and receives alimony and child support. She and her children (15 and 13) continue to live in the house she and her ex-husband purchased when they married.
Her divorce agreement states that she cannot live in that house with another man while she receives alimony payments. If she does, he can withhold his alimony. Part of her alimony is required to maintain the house expenses and mortgage. Her current working income cannot cover these expenses without the alimony contribution.
It doesn’t seem logical that he has the legal right to dictate where or with whom she can cohabitate. He no longer has equity in the house because I gave him a check for the full amount of his equity one year after their divorce.
Am I correct in my opinion that he cannot withhold his alimony if she decided to live with another man in her house?
Or she could take in a female roommate. Someone platonic. Maybe she should check out Welcome to CoAbode Single Mothers House Sharing .
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I'm honestly a little confused as to why the question was asked in the first place, unless the daughter is thinking of getting a room-mate (versus moving in a boyfriend)?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I'm honestly a little confused as to why the question was asked in the first place, unless the daughter is thinking of getting a room-mate (versus moving in a boyfriend)?
Or, more likely, someone wants to have it both ways - new boyfriend, but old husband still supporting her.

I'm surprised Bali hasn't piped in.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Or, more likely, someone wants to have it both ways - new boyfriend, but old husband still supporting her.

I'm surprised Bali hasn't piped in.


I suspect that's the case, too - however I really don't understand why the question even came up. The decree seems pretty clear about that...why or how OP might interpret it differently baffles me.

One thing I'd like to point out to OP though.

Her ex doesn't have the right to tell your daughter where she lives or with whom; but that's not what the decree says anyway.

It DOES allow him to suspend alimony payments should she choose to shack up with someone else.

There's a difference. :cool:
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
New Jersey

My daughter divorced her husband 3 years ago and receives alimony and child support. She and her children (15 and 13) continue to live in the house she and her ex-husband purchased when they married.
Her divorce agreement states that she cannot live in that house with another man while she receives alimony payments. If she does, he can withhold his alimony. Part of her alimony is required to maintain the house expenses and mortgage. Her current working income cannot cover these expenses without the alimony contribution.
It doesn’t seem logical that he has the legal right to dictate where or with whom she can cohabitate. He no longer has equity in the house because I gave him a check for the full amount of his equity one year after their divorce.
Am I correct in my opinion that he cannot withhold his alimony if she decided to live with another man in her house?
It is quite standard in most states, and most court orders, that alimony ends if the receiver of the alimony co-habitates or remarries. He cannot dictate whether or not she moves someone else into her home, but he isn't required to continue to support HER, if she is cohabitating with someone.

I think that you are misunderstanding things to seem as though its because of the specific house. It has nothing to do with that. Alimony is support for the ex-spouse. If the ex-spouse is living with someone and therefore enjoying the benefits of that someone's income, then they should no longer need the support of their previous spouse.
 
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