How about this for hosed!

domino1 · #1 10-13-2008, 12:22 AM

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

Hopefully someone has some experience in this case... recently I have been temporarily ordered to pay my wife 50% of my pay, 55% of daycare, and 90% of the monthly credit card debt. This leaves me about $1000 a month to live on, I kid you not.
I am racking up debt like mad already because I have no choice but to live on my own.

The above includes about $700 a month in spousal support. Our income is like this: me 55% and she 45%. So you can see that we have similar income levels. She currently gets to reside in the home, I do not. We also have 3 children that she will have primary care, I will only get to have them 2 days a week.

We don't have much equity in the home. So I guess the question that is making me lose sleep, could this be in my permanent future to have to pay this amount of money? Surely I don't mind at all paying to help raise the kids, but this will put me living in my car here soon. Anyone care to look into the future?

She cannot afford the home and expenses on her own, just not possible.

Thanks for any thoughts!

PhlawedPharmacy · #2 10-13-2008, 01:15 AM

Probably not forever. If she cannot refinance the home into her own name, you're going to have to sell it and split any and all assets (and debts). You'll both have to find cheaper living since you're not combining resources anymore. You should get some relief when this is done. It probably won't go away but should at least get better. Your incomes aren't so much different that alimony should be much if anything at all. Temporary spousal support always seems to be high, presumably for the period of adjustment.

LdiJ · #3 10-13-2008, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by domino1

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

Hopefully someone has some experience in this case... recently I have been temporarily ordered to pay my wife 50% of my pay, 55% of daycare, and 90% of the monthly credit card debt. This leaves me about $1000 a month to live on, I kid you not.
I am racking up debt like mad already because I have no choice but to live on my own.

The above includes about $700 a month in spousal support. Our income is like this: me 55% and she 45%. So you can see that we have similar income levels. She currently gets to reside in the home, I do not. We also have 3 children that she will have primary care, I will only get to have them 2 days a week.

We don't have much equity in the home. So I guess the question that is making me lose sleep, could this be in my permanent future to have to pay this amount of money? Surely I don't mind at all paying to help raise the kids, but this will put me living in my car here soon. Anyone care to look into the future?

She cannot afford the home and expenses on her own, just not possible.

Thanks for any thoughts!

I agree with the other response that you received. This is a temporary situation designed to ensure that the mortgage and bills are covered until things can be resolved.

You will still have to pay 55% of the daycare costs and child support, but the alimony portion will likely go away and the debts will be settled based on the overall situation.

Realistically, the house probably needs to be sold and the proceeds (or lack thereof) split or used to pay off marital debt.

If you have family you can move in with until the dust settles on the divorce and you know exactly where you stand, that would probably be in your best interest.

domino1 · #4 10-20-2008, 08:24 PM

Thank you for the responses. I have no issue paying child support & daycare. Currently the 2/3'ds or better of my pay makes it impossible to support myself.
To answer one of the responders question, I do not have relatives here, I am on my own. I really don't have anyone to live with either.

I would like to get this whole thing over with, but it seems that time is not on my side. People say it takes a really long time to finalize the issues.

Thanks for the helpful responses, I appreciate the feedback.

candg918 · #5 10-20-2008, 08:48 PM

Were you ordered out of the house by the judge?

domino1 · #6 10-20-2008, 08:57 PM

Yes. We have a protection order (ordered by the judge) to keep the peace between us, and we cannot be within 100yds of each others residence. There is no protection further than that for any reason. I can call over to the house to talk to the kids. She is being difficult about that as well.

That makes it difficult for me to get anything from my home. She has total control. I was lucky to get a tv and my clothes. I really have absolutely nothing. I am living on the floor in an apartment, and have very few things. Meanwhile, she is living the same lifestyle minus me. Will I ever see anything again that I once owned? Who knows. Sadly, for the years of the marriage and time we owned the home, I was the major bread winner between the two of us.. she didn't hardly work for many years until the last two. I also put out the downpayment on the house (money I earned prior to being married). I suspect that has no bearing in this state, but what do I know!

tuffbrk · #7 10-20-2008, 09:35 PM

If your pre-marital assets (cash) were co-mingled it will have no bearing. So - if you purchased the home in both of your names, then the downpayment becomes a gift from you to her.

Did you use an attorney? It seems somewhat unreasonable that you would be responsible for 90% of the debt on top of the childcare and pendente lite support to the point where you'd have only $1k to live on. Especially since there' s little disparity in income.

I encourage you to attempt to reach an agreement on finances ASAP and not have this drag out because then you'll wind up with an outrageous attorney bill to deal with as well.

Good luck to you.