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How do I know what to ask for???

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PlaysWithSharks

Member
ucffan said:
Ok I'll bite. Yes he does and has worked very hard at his choice. Much of his overtime is due to the way his shift runs and order ins.

My teen is older but is also special needs. She takes up a lot of time. A few years ago when I was finally able to work because of her schooling he said "just do something to supplement don't worry about health insurance and retirement my career covers that". Stupid me "ok". So here I am with said low paying job and no benefits. I cannot leave my 14 year old alone. I take her to many many doctor appointments and at times she is admitted in a hospital as well. So yes I feel that I am due a little bit of help for a couple years to to go to school and allow myself a career with benefits and better pay.
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This isn't much help to you...but I agree...and I'd agree if you were a man in the same position. Often one of the marriage is the breadwinner while the other doesn't work or just supplements...help doesn't seem unreasonable to me, you aren't asking for him to support you for the rest of your life. Research is key, and you are doing it, so I say carry on with that and don't feel "bad".

I felt "bad" for a minute when I learned child support due to me was put on my ex's credit report. Then I remembered I've been supporting her alone for years (with my husband) and it was a debt that he knew, and should have planned for. Your husband knew all these years that you didn't make enough to support yourself and half of your daughter's expenses, it shouldn't be a surprise to him.
 


Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Isis1 said:
excuse me??? raising a child is not a contribution??

did you mail your alimony check today? or are you being stupid on purpose?
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Isis, who is the father of the 14 year old? Is it husband or someone else? They have been married 10.5 years and the teen is 14. If husband isn't father, then the father needs to pay for OP's contribution to raising their child. Not the husband who is not legally responsible.
 
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Ladyback1

Senior Member
ucffan said:
Ok I'll bite. Yes he does and has worked very hard at his choice. Much of his overtime is due to the way his shift runs and order ins.

My teen is older but is also special needs. She takes up a lot of time. A few years ago when I was finally able to work because of her schooling he said "just do something to supplement don't worry about health insurance and retirement my career covers that". Stupid me "ok". So here I am with said low paying job and no benefits. I cannot leave my 14 year old alone. I take her to many many doctor appointments and at times she is admitted in a hospital as well. So yes I feel that I am due a little bit of help for a couple years to to go to school and allow myself a career with benefits and better pay.
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Have you applied for SSDI (Social Security Disability) for the child?
Without spousal support, would you qualify for any other assistance programs (SNAP, state Medicaid, TANF, Etc.)?
Are there any organizations in your area that will help provide respite care for the child?

Do not plan on getting spousal support.

I was so relieved to be shed of the Ex that I didn't want anything from him, except child support. And I did/do utilize some of the assistance programs available to me/the kids (specifically the low cost/no cost state funded health insurance).
 
Just Blue

Just Blue

Senior Member
Ladyback1 said:
Have you applied for SSDI (Social Security Disability) for the child?
Without spousal support, would you qualify for any other assistance programs (SNAP, state Medicaid, TANF, Etc.)?
Are there any organizations in your area that will help provide respite care for the child?

Do not plan on getting spousal support.

I was so relieved to be shed of the Ex that I didn't want anything from him, except child support. And I did/do utilize some of the assistance programs available to me/the kids (specifically the low cost/no cost state funded health insurance).
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SSI.

Child does not qualify for SSDI.;)
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
ucffan said:
Ok I'll bite. Yes he does and has worked very hard at his choice. Much of his overtime is due to the way his shift runs and order ins.

My teen is older but is also special needs. She takes up a lot of time. A few years ago when I was finally able to work because of her schooling he said "just do something to supplement don't worry about health insurance and retirement my career covers that". Stupid me "ok". So here I am with said low paying job and no benefits. I cannot leave my 14 year old alone. I take her to many many doctor appointments and at times she is admitted in a hospital as well. So yes I feel that I am due a little bit of help for a couple years to to go to school and allow myself a career with benefits and better pay.
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There is nothing wrong with that. Your marriage has been long term enough that a few years of rehabilitative alimony is possible.
 
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Isis1

Senior Member
Ohiogal said:
Isis, who is the father of the 14 year old? Is it husband or someone else? They have been married 10.5 years and the teen is 14. If husband isn't father, then the father needs to pay for OP's contribution to raising their child. Not the husband who is not legally responsible.
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my response would have been the same regardless of who the father is. she wasn't asking about child support. she was asking about spousal support. to get back on her feet. she in no way came out as if looking for a meal ticket.

OT: OG....GO REST!!!! love ya!
 
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ucffan

Junior Member
Thanks everyone for your input :)

In the end I used the AAML formula. I felt the number was a little high. I cut the number in half. I also use it base on his base salary. No overtime outside of what he works as his normal scheduled shift. I feel 100% good about the number. It's a number I can work with, no I will not be living the "good life" on it but I will survive and be ok. So hopefully I get that number. I am moving forward counting on zero though.
 
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Bali Hai

Senior Member
ucffan said:
Thanks everyone for your input :)

In the end I used the AAML formula. I felt the number was a little high. I cut the number in half. I also use it base on his base salary. No overtime outside of what he works as his normal scheduled shift. I feel 100% good about the number. It's a number I can work with, no I will not be living the "good life" on it but I will survive and be ok. So hopefully I get that number. I am moving forward counting on zero though.
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Good for you sweetie. The court may award you the moon, but don't count on it.
 
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