How do I make my husband pay support?

[tldockins]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

My husband of 33 years walked out on our marriage 5-31-09. He cancelled all our credit cards, closed the bank accounts and left me with $1,650. I do work but for a non-profit so money is tight. He is paying the mortgage on the house right now, but refuses to pay spousal support? Am I not entitled to that? Oh, after he walked out I learned that he has been having an affair for 2-3 years.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

My husband of 33 years walked out on our marriage 5-31-09. He cancelled all our credit cards, closed the bank accounts and left me with $1,650. I do work but for a non-profit so money is tight. He is paying the mortgage on the house right now, but refuses to pay spousal support? Am I not entitled to that? Oh, after he walked out I learned that he has been having an affair for 2-3 years.

have you filed for divorce?

judges do not look too kindly on closing of joint bank accounts or the closing of joint credit cards.

if you cannot afford to pay off the mortgage on your own, it's possible you may not be able to keep the house.

 

[Zigner]

He's paying the mortgage...why don't you offer to let him pay 1/2 of the mortgage and the other 1/2 to you? Seems fair.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

My husband of 33 years walked out on our marriage 5-31-09. He cancelled all our credit cards, closed the bank accounts and left me with $1,650. I do work but for a non-profit so money is tight. He is paying the mortgage on the house right now, but refuses to pay spousal support? Am I not entitled to that? Oh, after he walked out I learned that he has been having an affair for 2-3 years.

If you are living in the home and he is paying the mortgage, that's a form of spousal support.

You need to get yourself an attorney ASAP. After 33 years of marriage its quite likely that he is going to have to pay some alimony, but depending on your income it may not be any more than the mortgage payment he is currently making.

 

[Proserpina]

And bear in mind that North Carolina does allow marital misconduct to be taken into account when deciding alimony....

If the court finds that the supporting spouse participated in an act of illicit sexual behavior during the marriage and prior to or on the date of separation, then the court shall order that alimony be paid to a dependent spouse.

(from § 50-16.3A of the North Carolina Statutes.)

 

[Bali Hai]

If you are living in the home and he is paying the mortgage, that's a form of spousal support.

You need to get yourself an attorney ASAP. After 33 years of marriage its quite likely that he is going to have to pay some alimony, but depending on your income it may not be any more than the mortgage payment he is currently making.

Paying the mortgage is a "form" of spousal support? You mean as opposed to paying her directly so she can squander his money?

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't necessarily agree that she will end up with alimony. It is a possibility but how much does he earn? What evidence does she have of adultery? Did she stay with him AFTER she found out that he cheated?

 

[Ohiogal]

have you filed for divorce?

judges do not look too kindly on closing of joint bank accounts or the closing of joint credit cards.

if you cannot afford to pay off the mortgage on your own, it's possible you may not be able to keep the house.

She said he left her with money. She has no right to continue charging on a joint credit card any more than he does. And hubby is paying the mortgage. He could be ordered to pay her the same amount as the mortgage and it still wouldn't pay the mortgage.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't necessarily agree that she will end up with alimony. It is a possibility but how much does he earn? What evidence does she have of adultery? Did she stay with him AFTER she found out that he cheated?

33 year marriage
State of North Carolina (see law quoted by Dogmatique)
She is low income

He is going to be paying some alimony unless his income is as low as hers is.

 

[Bali Hai]

33 year marriage
State of North Carolina (see law quoted by Dogmatique)
She is low income

He is going to be paying some alimony unless his income is as low as hers is.

I would really like to know what 33 years of marriage has to do with someone being awarded alimony as opposed to 3 years.

They were BOTH there for 33 years!

Does it mean that for 33 years someone was oppressed? Or does it mean that someone should be paid for 33 years of service?

Just what the hell does it mean?

 

[Antigone*]

I would really like to know what 33 years of marriage has to do with someone being awarded alimony as opposed to 3 years.

They were BOTH there for 33 years!

Does it mean that for 33 years someone was oppressed? Or does it mean that someone should be paid for 33 years of service?

Just what the hell does it mean?

Bali,

Someone told me you were the one hogging the FA crystal ball. So why the heck you asking

 

[Proserpina]

I would really like to know what 33 years of marriage has to do with someone being awarded alimony as opposed to 3 years.

They were BOTH there for 33 years!

Does it mean that for 33 years someone was oppressed? Or does it mean that someone should be paid for 33 years of service?

Just what the hell does it mean?

33 years or 3 years might not actually matter in this case - it's actually the adultery, if proven, that's going to hurt him.

Hurt him more, anyway.

 

[Bali Hai]

33 years or 3 years might not actually matter in this case - it's actually the adultery, if proven, that's going to hurt him.

Hurt him more, anyway.

Thank you for clearing this matter up.

 

[LdiJ]

I would really like to know what 33 years of marriage has to do with someone being awarded alimony as opposed to 3 years.

They were BOTH there for 33 years!

Does it mean that for 33 years someone was oppressed? Or does it mean that someone should be paid for 33 years of service?

Just what the hell does it mean?

The longer the marriage, the greater the legal expectation (specifically in NC) that the dependent spouse will be cared for, for the rest of their lives, by the supporting spouse.

 

[Ohiogal]

33 year marriage
State of North Carolina (see law quoted by Dogmatique)
She is low income

He is going to be paying some alimony unless his income is as low as hers is.

Please reread what I wrote. I saw the law. I also have no clue what proof this individual has of any adultery NOR what her soon to be ex earns. Hence again I do not necessarily agree that she is guaranteed alimony.