How to fight spousal support

[Ladyback1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My boyfriend has a court date for alimony (they didn't give him 30 days to respond) and we are not saying she doesn't deserve some alimony but how do we word the papers so that it's a low amount?
In the marriage (Married 10 years 3 months) she didn't work (even though the husband wanted her to and ended the marriage because she wouldn't) she was supposed to take care of the house and bills while he worked.
She did not do any of that though. The bills were always late, so they tacked on a lot of fees. The house went into default 5 times and he had to borrow from his 401K to catch up the payments because even though she wasn't paying the bills, the money was gone. So now his credit is a mess (low 500) and the house is in major repair due to her lack of attention to it.
He has benefits from his work but there are still medical bills due from her going to the Dr, she didn't pay those either.

So how do we word it? If alimony is granted we request it not to start for 2 months so we can pay the medical bills or if alimony is granted she is responsible for the bills??? I know we don't write it like that but that is what I am wanting to know.
And I have been reading that it's up to the judge to decide amount and length, how do we request that? They already went to court once (it got dismissed) and the wife cried the whole time and the judge seemed to have it out for the husband. I have written an attachment that divides the property but I don't know how to add the debit to it.

Thanks

.

Just remember this: If he would cheat to be with you, he'll cheat to be with someone else.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My boyfriend has a court date for alimony (they didn't give him 30 days to respond) and we are not saying she doesn't deserve some alimony but how do we word the papers so that it's a low amount?
In the marriage (Married 10 years 3 months) she didn't work (even though the husband wanted her to and ended the marriage because she wouldn't) she was supposed to take care of the house and bills while he worked.
She did not do any of that though. The bills were always late, so they tacked on a lot of fees. The house went into default 5 times and he had to borrow from his 401K to catch up the payments because even though she wasn't paying the bills, the money was gone. So now his credit is a mess (low 500) and the house is in major repair due to her lack of attention to it.
He has benefits from his work but there are still medical bills due from her going to the Dr, she didn't pay those either.

So how do we word it? If alimony is granted we request it not to start for 2 months so we can pay the medical bills or if alimony is granted she is responsible for the bills??? I know we don't write it like that but that is what I am wanting to know.
And I have been reading that it's up to the judge to decide amount and length, how do we request that? They already went to court once (it got dismissed) and the wife cried the whole time and the judge seemed to have it out for the husband. I have written an attachment that divides the property but I don't know how to add the debit to it.

Thanks

Sweetpea - you are dating a married person. That is the reality of the situation wrt your "friend".

 

[LdiJ]

It's not judgement, it's common sense. Common sense is that his story doesn't add up. If one spouse is given the task of handling the finances and they default the mortgage FIVE TIMES, how many mortgage defaults do you go through before you think "Gee... maybe I should start looking at a monthly bill?". How did the home go into serious disrepair as a result of a neglectful housewife? Is he blind?

It's absolutely absurd to think that this actually happened the way your married boyfriend claims it did. I'm not sure if you've ever been married or had a mortgage, but those red flags are smacking you upside the head and you are actually getting yourself in hot water here by skirting the law to help your "friend".

Seems like he found a gullible girl and is running with it.

RE :"How to fight spousal support"

Well, you don't have a spouse, so you don't need too!

I have to seriously agree here. Either he is totally lying to you or you are exaggerating the situation...its one or the other. I don't mean that in a snarky way either. Houses don't go into default 5 times without either both parties being totally aware of it, or one party being absolutely stupid and not taking charge after the first, maybe the second, default.

There are also other things that don't add up in your post.

I suspect that the truth of the matter is that is that your boyfriend and his wife were both irresponsible with money. Its even possible that his wife tried very hard to manage the finances but your boyfriend was the one who kept spending money that should have been saved for bills. You don't know. You were not there. All you know is what your married boyfriend is telling you.

On top of that he has you attempting to "manage" his divorce. I am sorry that you do not understand how absolutely wrong and inappropriate that is...and how much that could actually damage him. Again, no snark here...just reality. The fact that he actually has you doing that is a strong indicator that he is equally responsible for the financial problems of his marriage. Responsible people don't allow anyone else to manage anything for them. They manage their issues themselves...or at least equally participate.

I sincerely hope that whatever you do, that you keep your finances separate from his...and that you don't enter into any joint debts or assets with him.

 

[Proserpina]

Given that the Husband has a 10 year marriage, if alimony is applicable at all there's at least a decent chance it will be permanent.

(Evidently California counts marriage years as dog years. 1 year of marriage in CA = 7 years elsewhere in the country. Or something)


He needs to be brutally honest with the court - and with that, I mean "don't even think of trying to hide this asset" because if Wife knows, they WILL find it and he WILL be in deep trouble (actually it doesn't matter whether or not she knows initially - if her forensic accountant has found it, that's all she needs).

See Court Rule #1: Pissing off the judge usually results in Very Bad Things.

There is no set formula in CA. His outgoing expenses can matter a little bit, a big bit, or no bit at all. Her future earning capacity will generally be considered. So will his (in other words, he needs to forget the idea of finding a lower paying job to pay less alimony - that won't end well for him).

In short, he needs to read this: http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/cacode/FAM/1/d9/3/2/s4320

You need to roll your eyes a few times when he discusses his past with you because I can just about guarantee that he hasn't been 1000% honest about everything. Naturally, it's all her fault....except when it isn't. Take a few steps back, let him deal with this. If you don't, you're going to end up in a world of emotional hurt and you don't need that.

Ever.

The end.

 

[Eekamouse]

She doesn't want to hear any of this. Just tell her how she can help her married boyfriend screw his wife out of alimony in their divorce. And then, after OP and her boyfriend get married and eventually break up, his new little girlfriend can search this site to find her old post and use the knowledge to screw her, too!

 

[Proserpina]

She doesn't want to hear any of this. Just tell her how she can help her married boyfriend screw his wife out of alimony in their divorce. And then, after OP and her boyfriend get married and eventually break up, his new little girlfriend can search this site to find her old post and use the knowledge to screw her, too!

Well, I've never been all that good at telling people what they want to hear.

Come on, I'm a Brit. I come from a very small island which managed to takeover most of the world with little more than the clever use of flags and sheep.

But I digress.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was hoping for some real help here not judgement about something you guys know nothing about. I was hoping to hear from a lawyer, I guess not.

I'm a lawyer: You are a legal stranger committing adultery with your married boyfriend. Congrats. You have no right to be filing anything unless you want to break the law. Let your boyfriend take care of his business.

 

[Ohiogal]

I can help a friend fill out the paperwork. I guess you don't have any friends because I have helped many friends just as they have helped me when in need.

No you cannot. That would be the unauthorized practice of law.

 

[stealth2]

I sincerely hope that whatever you do, that you keep your finances separate from his...and that you don't enter into any joint debts or assets with him.

OR have children with him.

 

[stealth2]

Well, I've never been all that good at telling people what they want to hear.

Come on, I'm a Brit. I come from a very small island which managed to takeover most of the world with little more than the clever use of flags and sheep.

But I digress.

And how'd that work for that little island? LOL

 

[cbg]

And how'd that work for that little island? LOL

Are you kidding? That little island knew exactly when to get out of the superpower business. NOW who gets all the blame for everything that goes wrong in the world? It ain't the Brits!

 

[stealth2]

Are you kidding? That little island knew exactly when to get out of the superpower business. NOW who gets all the blame for everything that goes wrong in the world? It ain't the Brits!

I'm thinking of other, social, issues....

But we're hijacking....

 

[Bali Hai]

Well, I've never been all that good at telling people what they want to hear.

Come on, I'm a Brit. I come from a very small island which managed to takeover most of the world with little more than the clever use of flags and sheep.

But I digress.

Yeah that's true, you exploited the world for your king and now the world has decided it's time for payback.

 

[Proserpina]

Yeah that's true, you exploited the world for your king and now the world has decided it's time for payback.

Yeah, we give in. Not even we can top the Kardashians & Honey Boo Boo.

 

[Eekamouse]

Ow! Yike! Yike! Yike!