What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut
She is a physician who divorced her husband a little over a year ago, due to (among other things) his relentless over spending of her income. She makes approximately $350,000 a year. He makes approximately $40,000 a year. This large discrepancy between their incomes resulted in a rather large alimony award for him. I believe that her lawyer did a very poor job of fighting for her. The ex-husband was awarded the house and did not have to pay her one dime of the 13 years worth of equity. He was also awarded $1000 a WEEK in alimony and child support, with child support comprising $400 of that amount. It was also stipulated that she is responsible to pay for 100% of the 3 kids' college education, and that it was not allowed to be paid for with loans. As her parents, myself, and the rest of her friends were privy to the negotiating, it became a real cause for concern that her lawyer was so ready and willing to convince her that this was the best she was going to get. I used the word "award" previously, but in fact, it was settled between the 2 lawyers. I apologize for not being more informed as to how this process works, i.e. is "settling" the way all divorce cases are resolved, or does a judge ever decide who gets what? Essentially, there was the feeling that she was resigned to her fate, and that her attorney was not going to fight. Our opinion, as her friends and family, was that this old-school attorney was uncomfortable with a woman leaving her husband...and that he would exact a certain "verdict" himself on the case.
Now a year later, she has become very frustrated with his absolute lack of financial support for the kids. Any music, dance, or sports programs are paid 100% by her, or the kids would not be able to participate. His steadfast refusal to spend any money on the kids (the custody was split at 50%) is heartbreaking. The kids will only ask their mother for things that they might need for school. However, he continues his lavish lifestyle, that ironically, was the exact impetus for her filing for divorce. He is a season-ticket holder to the New York Yankees, a regular golfer, AND most recently....he bragged to her, that he was able to purchase a brand new $30,000 car WITH CASH, thanks to his "bulldog lawyer who got him everything he deserved". He has a new girlfriend, but has publicly stated that he will wait "until the day after his alimony ends" (8 years total) before he marries her, in order to not forfeit his alimony.
Maybe there is absolutely nothing she can do here. To which I would say that our system, here in Connecticut, needs some serious re-vamping. Is it not required to document how child support is spent? and for that matter alimony? How is it that he is allowed to continue to soak her financially, by spending all of the child support on himself? In effect, she is paying child support twice....once, by the actual supporting of her children, and twice by paying him something that the children never see.
If I am simply a naive first-time observer to the ugly side of divorce and alimony, then tell me so. But if there is something wrong here, and something that can be done to right this 8.9 on the moral Richter scale, then please tell me that as well.
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your response(s).
She is a physician who divorced her husband a little over a year ago, due to (among other things) his relentless over spending of her income. She makes approximately $350,000 a year. He makes approximately $40,000 a year. This large discrepancy between their incomes resulted in a rather large alimony award for him. I believe that her lawyer did a very poor job of fighting for her. The ex-husband was awarded the house and did not have to pay her one dime of the 13 years worth of equity. He was also awarded $1000 a WEEK in alimony and child support, with child support comprising $400 of that amount. It was also stipulated that she is responsible to pay for 100% of the 3 kids' college education, and that it was not allowed to be paid for with loans. As her parents, myself, and the rest of her friends were privy to the negotiating, it became a real cause for concern that her lawyer was so ready and willing to convince her that this was the best she was going to get. I used the word "award" previously, but in fact, it was settled between the 2 lawyers. I apologize for not being more informed as to how this process works, i.e. is "settling" the way all divorce cases are resolved, or does a judge ever decide who gets what? Essentially, there was the feeling that she was resigned to her fate, and that her attorney was not going to fight. Our opinion, as her friends and family, was that this old-school attorney was uncomfortable with a woman leaving her husband...and that he would exact a certain "verdict" himself on the case.
Now a year later, she has become very frustrated with his absolute lack of financial support for the kids. Any music, dance, or sports programs are paid 100% by her, or the kids would not be able to participate. His steadfast refusal to spend any money on the kids (the custody was split at 50%) is heartbreaking. The kids will only ask their mother for things that they might need for school. However, he continues his lavish lifestyle, that ironically, was the exact impetus for her filing for divorce. He is a season-ticket holder to the New York Yankees, a regular golfer, AND most recently....he bragged to her, that he was able to purchase a brand new $30,000 car WITH CASH, thanks to his "bulldog lawyer who got him everything he deserved". He has a new girlfriend, but has publicly stated that he will wait "until the day after his alimony ends" (8 years total) before he marries her, in order to not forfeit his alimony.
Maybe there is absolutely nothing she can do here. To which I would say that our system, here in Connecticut, needs some serious re-vamping. Is it not required to document how child support is spent? and for that matter alimony? How is it that he is allowed to continue to soak her financially, by spending all of the child support on himself? In effect, she is paying child support twice....once, by the actual supporting of her children, and twice by paying him something that the children never see.
If I am simply a naive first-time observer to the ugly side of divorce and alimony, then tell me so. But if there is something wrong here, and something that can be done to right this 8.9 on the moral Richter scale, then please tell me that as well.
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your response(s).
