I Need help....

[karonikah23]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I am 23 years old, 24 next month. My husband and I got married in Feb. of 2003 in the state of Florida and seperated in early 2004. We have been seperated for 3+years, however it was not a legal seperation. We live in 2 different states (he in Arizona, myself in Ohio)and he is with another woman who is about to have his baby. Through out the seperation, we decided to give it another chance, I moved from one state to another with all of my belongings. Only there for about 2 months when I left. I left everthing I ever owned behind. Now my husband, after having done all the things he has done to me, is trying to re enlist in to the military, and wants me to sign some paperwork from the military stating that I will not go after him for spousal support/child support, as they apparantly are hesitant about letting him re sign with a civil matter going on. Can I even go after him for spousal support? My daughter is not his but he signed the birth certificate. What are my options? I don't want to be the mean nasty one, but I lost EVERYTHING, and now the girl he cheated on me with has all my furniture, all my personal belongings, etc. I have been struggleing, while he has been getting anything and everything he wants. Should I be the bigger person and just walk away and give him what he wants so it goes as easy as possible, do I have a case to apply for spousal support?

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by karonikah23

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I am 23 years old, 24 next month. My husband and I got married in Feb. of 2003 and seperated in early 2004. We have been seperated for 3+years, however it was not a legal seperation. We live in 2 different states, he is with another woman who is about to have his baby. Through out the seperation, we decided to give it another chance, I moved from one state to another with all of my belongings. Only there for about 2 months when I left. I left everthing I ever owned behind. Now my husband, after having done all the things he has done to me, is trying to re enlist in to the military, and wants me to sign some paperwork from the military stating that I will not go after him for spousal support/child support, as they apparantly are hesitant about letting him re sign with a civil matter going on. Can I even go after him for spousal support? My daughter is not his but he signed the birth certificate. What are my options? I don't want to be the mean nasty one, but I lost EVERYTHING, and now the girl he cheated on me with has all my furniture, all my personal belongings, etc. I have been struggleing, while he has been getting anything and everything he wants. Should I be the bigger person and just walk away and give him what he wants so it goes as easy as possible, do I have a case to apply for spousal support?

You don't have a case for alimony. AND you have committed fraud by having him sign the bc.

[LdiJ]

I agree that you don't have a case for alimony....however, if he wants that paperwork signed badly enough that might be a way for you to get your furniture and belongings back.

Tell him you will sign the paperwork after he has had all your property shipped back to you.

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Normally I'd agree with you, Fair, but the kid ain't his.

Dang you silver, you got here too fast, that is why I just deleted it. I didn't realize she was a scheming you know what. stop following me. LOL

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by fairisfair

Dang you silver, you got here too fast, that is why I just deleted it. I didn't realize she was a scheming you know what. stop following me. LOL

Not the first time you've been burned by the SilverStreak!
Hee!

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Not the first time you've been burned by the SilverStreak!
Hee!

ah, and it won't be the last either, I am sure of that.

[maryjo]

As far as I know there is no such thing as legal seperation in Florida. Meaning, you dont need to be "legally" seperated before you can get divorced. I have lived here most of my life and thats what I was told when I was seperated and getting divorced.

Anyway, its your own fault that the "other woman" now has all your belongings. You did not need to leave everything. That was your decision and something you should have to deal with now.

If you have been living seperated for 3 years now without him supporting you, why do you need it now? Because you know he will have a more stable job? Or because you dont want them to let him back into the military?

Dont depend on him to support you or your child. The child isnt his and he has no obligation to it. You were married for only about a year before you seperated.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by maryjo

As far as I know there is no such thing as legal seperation in Florida. Meaning, you dont need to be "legally" seperated before you can get divorced. I have lived here most of my life and thats what I was told when I was seperated and getting divorced.


And she lives in Ohio now and that is where she will be filing if she files. Hubby lives in Florida and if hubby were to file that is where he would file. However there is some information missing.

Anyway, its your own fault that the "other woman" now has all your belongings. You did not need to leave everything. That was your decision and something you should have to deal with now.


Back up and wait a minute. You don't know when she LEFT him for good. She said they separated in 2004 and then she says she went back to him and it lasted a couple of months. Those couple of months could have been last year and he immediately took up with her. Since they are still married there has been no determination of marital property. She has a right to ask for 1/2 of it. As well as half the marital debt. Whether she deserves or not is up to a court.

If you have been living seperated for 3 years now without him supporting you, why do you need it now? Because you know he will have a more stable job? Or because you dont want them to let him back into the military?

While I agree she will not get alimony as she does not qualify for it, you do not know when they last reunited or if he was providing support for her until this other woman entered the picture. You also dont know when the final separation between the two of them took place.


Dont depend on him to support you or your child. The child isnt his and he has no obligation to it. You were married for only about a year before you seperated.

Again you are wrong. LEGALLY the child is his as he apparently had to sign an AOP to be put on the birth certificate if they were NOT married when the child was born and IF they WERE married when the child was born then he is the legal father. Hence he has a legal obligation to support the child until paternity is disestablished.

She cannot state that she will not ask him for child support because if she ends up on state aid then the state of Ohio will go after him thus involving in a child support suit as he is the legal father. She can sign off on alimony and should because IF this man has to continue paying child support then a military career would be a good way for him to support his child. And yes I know OP says he is not the biological father. HOWEVER, did he know that when he signed the birth certificate (which by the way is a misnomer because you do NOT sign the BC). Was he fraudlently led to believe he wasn't the child's father or did he iknow there was a chance he was not and still voluntarily took this matter upon himself. Another question though is the military does not look kindly on adultery and quite frankly if he is living with his girlfriend and married to OP then he is committing adultery. So why doesn't the military pursue that course of action? As for not wanting to let him resign -- I would question that as I am representing a gentleman currently in boot camp who is going through a divorce. So something doesn't sit right.
Oh and as the legal father he is entitled to visitation/custody regardless of the biological status.
So OP answer these questions:
When was the last time you reunited?
Have papers been filed in any state regarding divorce/custody or what not?
How long have you been in Ohio?
Where is the child?
Has your husband seen the child while you were separated?
Were you married when the child was born or did he sign an AOP declaring himself the father?
What state was the child born?

[maryjo]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Again you are wrong. LEGALLY the child is his as he apparently had to sign an AOP to be put on the birth certificate if they were NOT married when the child was born and IF they WERE married when the child was born then he is the legal father. Hence he has a legal obligation to support the child until paternity is disestablished.

She said "My daughter is not his but he signed the birth certificate."

So if the daughter is not biologially his then he still has to pay child support for it because his name is on the birth certificate?

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by maryjo

She said "My daughter is not his but he signed the birth certificate."

So if the daughter is not biologially his then he still has to pay child support for it because his name is on the birth certificate?

he is legally the father until and if paternity is disestablished. You really need to sit back and read for a while before you continue giving advice. This is not the first time that you have posted your Florida "information" on an inappropriate thread.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by maryjo

She said "My daughter is not his but he signed the birth certificate."

So if the daughter is not biologially his then he still has to pay child support for it because his name is on the birth certificate?

It has nothing to do with his name being on the BC. If he is the LEGAL FATHER, he can be ordered to pay child support. If they were married when the child was born or he signed an AOP, he is the child's LEGAL father.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by maryjo

She said "My daughter is not his but he signed the birth certificate."

So if the daughter is not biologially his then he still has to pay child support for it because his name is on the birth certificate?

There are a few things wrong with the statement. For one being on the birth certificate means squat. What is more important are the answers to the questions i asked OP -- if he is the legal father it doesn't matter that the child is NOT biologically is. He is responsibile legally for supporting the child. He also has a right to visitation/custody.