just need some help anything at this point

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by help in va

first that is not the issue in my divorce or anything else for that matter, i was found 100% physically diabled by an administrative law judge along with my doctors and the social security system years ago, so i certainly dont need the soc sec laws cited here...

and second, my disabilities are actually none of anyone's business, i stated enough so that you should be able to read and figure out that if i am in a wheelchair some of the times, that i live in an ADA adaptive home, and i need care here at home when my husband is deployed, and that the diseases are PROGRESSIVE, then what my particular issues are are irrelevant. you can name it whatever you want. what's the difference to YOU if i am terminal cancer or paralyzed????

it only matters to ME, and i'm handling my medical issues just fine, why are YOU so worried about what they are?? you want to help?? otherwise, focus on the fact that you're NOT in a wheelchair for ANY length of time, and be thankful.....

LdiJ, thank you again.... you're awesome....

And you have absolutely NO idea what any of us may or may not be dealing with here in terms of disability here. No idea whatsoever.

Close your thread, OP - you've received the answers you wanted, and those you obviously didn't want, all in one go. And for free, no less.

[Ohiogal]

LD is awesome for this OP because LD stood back and gave nothing but opinions OP wanted. No offense to LD but jeez, OP, get off the pity train. If you earned six figures like you said and you have a doctorate then you CAN teach. You could get a job at HARVARD teaching. So what is your doctorate again? What was your major? You worked as a secretary with a DOCTORATE degree? Oh so you were underemployed all that time as a secretary. I get it. Either that or you are lying about the doctorate.

[Silverplum]

I think it's pretty dang clear the OP didn't bother to read my comprehensive link.

[candg918]

The military would not have assigned the OP's husband to a location where she could not have received proper medical care under their exceptional family member program.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by help in va

i worked for 22 years as a secretary, i saved money, i earned VERY LITTLE and this is from the 80's and 90's when secretaries made oh about 15,000 a year some of those years, i have worked since high school. i earned and paid in full in cash for my degrees (PRIOR TO MEETING MY HUSBAND) which i finished earning one in 1994 and then one in 1999. from 92-99 i worked only part time due to school, but i supported myself from that savings and paid for school. so that is why my disability is only 900, its actually 1,000 but i have to pay for medicare!!!! any other questions?? i was lucky to have finished the doctorate as i was on the first group of serious medications starting during my first degree and they almost caused me not to finish. but i did.

so i was only able to work for about one year in my new career, i know it sucks for ME, not YOU and not for my HUSB. i love my job/career, i would give anything to do it tomorrow and forever, but that's not going to happen and that's life, like i said, disabilites and injuries, they DONT discriminate. that's why one needs a more positive attitude!!! so these things dont rule your life. and it does not. its why i met Husb and why we married, i did not intend to crawl in hole and die, i want to enjoy as much as i can as did he!!

and no my employer did not have any obligation to me since i had not been there long, in fact during my last year of work i had two 'failed attempts' according to soc sec. so you do the math. now that i have again defended my income. i really THANK you who have responded to me and had a head on your shoulders not filled with rage and bitterness.

i am not looking to punish anyone, i want my husband to be a happy man, obviously he is having issues with this and i hope he finds happiness, i dont wish harm on him in any way. with the issues i have all by myself, my attitude is very positive and strong, my body might not be but i am. and i never wanted him to leave at all, for whatever reason he is behaving the way he is i cannot speculate nor do i want to. he is doing what he needs to do i guess.

WE entered the marriage, WE decided to do the things you keep saying I I I I did. no WE did, except for his taking the equity, and yep HE sure did, and yep its a whole other legal battle, as stated above in my post, people do break the law you know... it is done every day... and as far as this being a tort? NO im not suing my h under tort law. ridiculous.

if he wants out so badly to do whatever it is he is doing???? then he needs to clean up the mess he made. how disgusting that a military officer, highly decorated DURING THE MARRIAGE, can take his wife, use her to his benefit, finding this out as we have more access to his files.. hhhmm, be abusive, be a drunk with serious alcohol issues, lie and deceive, and then just throw it all away when something else looks better?? no, im sorry,

if he wants that, that's fine, but yes he does have to clean up his mess, i dont want everything, i am hardly asking for anything here. to put me back as close as possible to 9 years ago?? even that's not a good situation. i will struggle with that one as well, i will have to rely on things that i may not like, and he will still be off making well over 6 fig a year on our boat somewhere living it up. but thats fine, i remain positive, but i am not a doormat either. so i really think some of you see this in a very skewed light.

during our marriage, absolutely i followed him, i supported him, thats what a military spouse DOES. what else was i supposed to do, REFUSE to support him as a spouse, ridiculous, why on earth is that used AGAINST me that i am a supportive military spouse, are you kidding, the command he is with practically requires it.... we have duties as wives to be in a certain position as well. so get yourself over that argument. he would be arguing the opposite if i did not do what a spouse does. how silly...

that IS my job to be a good wife, and he has not been a good husband. period, no opinions, just facts coming out all over the place. and NO i am not billing him for my time like some do, i am not itemizing the value of a spouse, im not that ridiculous either. he entered into a marriage knowing that supporting me would be his job. there you go. i did my job and still do it. i still support him today as a spouse should, even though is out running amok, i still respond to command functions and work on the few groups that i belong too in his flight community.

so yes, he has broken laws, and he has made a mess, sometimes without my knowledge or consent, and yes he is being pursued now for not one but three incidents of fraudulent and alleged illegal behavior. nothing to do with ME or our marriage but HIM and his actions. not very becoming to his title. that is why he needs to fix the mess he made, try to put things back the best he can, and yes, my disability does go to my support, and i started earning that during the marriage, i earned nothing when we met and married.

but he made some big obligations taking on a disabled spouse, if that man had come back from iraq in a freaking wheelchair, my job as spouse, wife, and a loving partner would be to stay with him as such, this is ridiculous. his job is extremely dangerous, he has had several incidents during flying over the years that almost took his health, body, life, and i never went running for a greener pasture... and then sued him for money and divorce. wake up.

once again, i thank you that answered me, the military spouse (former) thank you, and LdiJ, thank you for all your help, and your positivity. irish lady you too. thanks. i hope i dont leave anyone out who has truly been objective or helpful and just plain supportive... thanks for the help.

He has ONLY been your spouse for a few of those many, many, many years that you could have earned social security credits. Your "job" to be a military wife to him is a tiny part of the many years of your life. WHAT would you have done had you NOT married him? You'd be just as disabled and just as limited in your SSDI benefits, because you DIDN'T pay in all those years BEFORE he came along. How is your lack of earnings PRIOR to this marriage suddenly and solely supposed to now be HIS forever responsibility?

And, as stated earlier, he, alone, could not have mortgaged and spent on your home without your participation, unless he fraudulantly signed your name. Did he do so? I owned my home before my marriage, and I only have the mortgages on it that I have ALLOWED to be placed on it. My husband CANNOT mortgage that which he does not own, not without me.

How is it HIS fault that for 22 years BEFORE this marriage you didn't accrue sufficient disability credits?

[IrishLady47]

Originally Posted by candg918

The military would not have assigned the OP's husband to a location where she could not have received proper medical care under their exceptional family member program.

True. And, if it was not possible to find him another assignment (happens even w/enrollment in EFMP), he would have been required to go unaccompanied as dependent travel will not be approved for any family member if appropriate medical care is not available.