lifetime alimony

What is the name of your state? FL

Husband entered into stip agreeing to lifetime alimony. in the amount of 1/2 his income . Desperate to be divorced of wife and suffering severe depression and disillusionment, Life was over. three years have passed, having suffered serious health event, but not so severe that he has had to quit his 30,000 per year job( yes has been living on 15,000 per year in near destitute conditions) and has realized that he would like to make the most of life he has left but is limited due to financial demands of the stip(ex has never even tried to get a job and is now disabled)

Is he "stuck" or can this be taken before the court for modification.. and what are the possibilities that he could end up worse than now?

Thank you for taking the time to respond..

I will take no one responding to this post , to mean that there is no chance for this sweet gentle person to even consider having anything that resembles a normal life.. because of his eagerness to get the divorce done and overwith , without an arguement and further emotional pain.. I cant believe that a judge even sign this stip into order.. it was beyond generous taking into consideration that even as a couple they were in poverty. and now he is the one in poverty while she has a habitat house, food stamps, medical, etc.... and he has to struggle to even come up with his money for his meds and doctors so that he can continue to work to honor the stip, killing himself so she can sit at home( hardly, she is the most capable disabled person I know when it comes to something SHE WANTS to do)... it just seems unjust that a judge would agree to a person signing such an outlandish stip knowing that the person could never hope to have a life of their own in doing so. The judge should have had him undergo counseling before making such a permanent decision about destituting himself, because of being depressed and not thinkning clearly.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Why are you complaining?

You have no right to complain because you married the guy with that baggage.

He has no right to complain because that's the agreement that he wanted and signed.

So, what has changed since then, and now?

IAAL

The fact that he wants to have a life..

I did not marry him, he will not marry and will not accept help which is what he consideres any type of shared living arrangement, as he does not want to share his baggage..

He is a wonderful person and this stip that he agreed to in the heat of the moment just to get away from his ex asap( her choice too, he loved her and was so hurt and confused he didnt realy know what the heck was going on).. he just did as he was told to do by her as he had done for the entire marriage.... now he realizes that he was a sap sucker and is tired of bending for everyone, ignoring what he wants or needs. I knew him during the time prior to his divorce so I know this to be true of him.

[stealth2]

Originally posted by mthall
The fact that he wants to have a life..

I did not marry him, he will not marry and will not accept help which is what he consideres any type of shared living arrangement, as he does not want to share his baggage..

Then why did you call him husband? Just curious.

Thing is - he entered into the agreement of his own free will, and now he's stuck with it.

[dakoto70]

She wasn't referrring to him as "her husband" she was calling him husband just like she called the EX WIFE "wife" it was how she was writtign the post and how you chose to read it.

I honestly don't think there is much he can do but it wouldn't hurt to talk to a lawyer, maybe some how he can get it modified. Court orders get modified all the time so maybe this one can too. Good luck to you and your friend.

[Jeter]

"Court orders get modified all the time so maybe this one can too."


A*- Please don't offer false hope by giving a general statement like that. Lawyers aren't inexpensive enough to just hire on a wing and a prayer. A court order will not be modified because someone just wants to live a better life. It doesn't matter how nice that person is. There must be a significant change in circumstances to warrant a modification. If this man was unable to work because of his health conditions, then there may be a case for modification. Given the details provided by the poster, there is NO case for modification.

My Ex left me in a severe financial bind and I was very depressed too. In addition, I am totally disabled and can't perform substantial work. My ex did not want to pay alimony either because I receive disabilility income. He is not working by choice; he quickly remarried a woman of substantial means so he doesn't have to work for a living. Even in my severely depressed, brain-injured state, I fought like a tiger for alimony and won (DE law allows for an award of permanent alimony for marriages over 20 years.)

From a totally, physically disabled person's (as well as frequently depressed) viewpoint, I am angered by posts complaining about the "unfairness" of the family court system because the party who felt "wronged" (in this case your friend) was "depressed" and felt that s/he was at a disadvantage in the proceedings.

By all means your friend can try to get a modification but don't be surprised if the judge turns him down for the reasons Jeter gave.

[dakoto70]

It wasn't a false hope. If he feels like it and can afford it he can take it to court and try to get it modified. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. It is a crap shoot so if he wants to take his chances he can. There is no false hope in that. Either it will happen or it won't and he can contact an attorney,usually first time is free, and see what his chances are. That is my suggestion for them to do and if I was in this situation I would atleast call. There is nothing to lose and so much to gain.

[Jeter]

It wasn't a false hope. If he feels like it and can afford it he can take it to court and try to get it modified. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. It is a crap shoot so if he wants to take his chances he can. There is no false hope in that. Either it will happen or it won't and he can contact an attorney,usually first time is free, and see what his chances are. That is my suggestion for them to do and if I was in this situation I would atleast call. There is nothing to lose and so much to gain.


A*- You have to be kidding me. This is the advice that you give to someone who comes here for answers: "It's a crap shoot and you can go take your chances, either it will happen or it won't"? You can cut and paste that answer all over the forum but what's the point? If you don't know what you are talking about then please- don't answer the post.

[dakoto70]

I wasn't responding to a poster I was responding to YOU telling me what you said I said before. I told her to tell him to contact a lawyer and see what the lawyer says. YOU tell that to people all the time. And I am sorry but you never know what is going to happen UNTIL you get in front of a judge and HE RULES. plain and simple. If you don't like what I said before don't respond. I told her the chances of him getting it changed were slim BUT to talk to someone and if he wanted to go ahead with it go for it but don't expect much. I DON'T SEE ANYTHIG WRONG WITH THAT ANSWER.

[Jeter]

I was responding to YOU telling me what you said I said before.


A*- I was only saying what you said they should say, not what I said you said I said!

LOL!!! I understand what you meant. I don't want to fight with you, Karen. I've always liked your answers here and I think you have a good heart. I'm sorry. I was being a jerk (or a typical NY kind of guy!)

I was being a jerk (or a typical NY kind of guy!)"

Hey, you can't help it, it's a medical condition, called "cerebral anal insertion"...

[Jeter]

You're still on my x-mas card list, coosi. No matter what you say.

What, no Thxgvg invitation? I love turkeys...