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Moving Out

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ohemgee

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

It's been a week since the decision was made for my husband I to end our marriage. I asked him a week ago to come up with a plan or suggestion on him moving out. He's dragging his feet, wouldn't even make an appt. to see an attorney until yesterday. I'm anxious to get all this over with so I proposed that I move out and have found a suitable place but need at least some temporary support until we sell our home and split the equity and I get "on my feet". He makes twice as much as I do (see more details in my first post here: https://forum.freeadvice.com/alimony-spousal-support-35/spousal-support-after-28-year-marriage-568451.html) He's refusing to commit to helping me until he meets with an attorney on Thursday, 12/8. Fair enough. What can/should I do if after meeting with his attorney he still refuses to help? Unfortunately, my first post-initial consultation appt. with my attorney isn't until the 19th since she's in court. I'm anxious to move out ASAP due to the "atmosphere" here. Besides that, I'm afraid that the apartment that I found will be taken in the meantime.
 


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Isis1

Senior Member
instead of making us look up your thread, you can just post this new question to the other thread. it's good practice.
 
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Nevergrowup

Member
ohemgee said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

It's been a week since the decision was made for my husband I to end our marriage. I asked him a week ago to come up with a plan or suggestion on him moving out. He's dragging his feet, wouldn't even make an appt. to see an attorney until yesterday. I'm anxious to get all this over with so I proposed that I move out and have found a suitable place but need at least some temporary support until we sell our home and split the equity and I get "on my feet". He makes twice as much as I do (see more details in my first post here: https://forum.freeadvice.com/alimony-spousal-support-35/spousal-support-after-28-year-marriage-568451.html) He's refusing to commit to helping me until he meets with an attorney on Thursday, 12/8. Fair enough. What can/should I do if after meeting with his attorney he still refuses to help? Unfortunately, my first post-initial consultation appt. with my attorney isn't until the 19th since she's in court. I'm anxious to move out ASAP due to the "atmosphere" here. Besides that, I'm afraid that the apartment that I found will be taken in the meantime.
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There are a couple of problems here. Even if he agrees on helping you, unless it is court filed, he could actually just stop when he feels like it. You could potentially be stuck in a place you can't afford without his help if you do it too soon. I understand why the situation would be uncomfortable, but I would suggest you don't make any kind of move without consulting with your lawyer. Even after he talks to his, even if he agrees to temp support, you want to make sure you are making the right decision...don't tie your attorney's hands in regards to helping you before you even meet with her.

I'm sure you are anxious to get on with your life, but if you are too hasty, you could be shooting yourself in the foot.

Edited to add, I agree with Isis. Much easier to assist you if you keep it all together.
 
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ohemgee

Junior Member
Nevergrowup said:
I'm sure you are anxious to get on with your life, but if you are too hasty, you could be shooting yourself in the foot.
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Thanks -- that's what I figured. The issue of him not following thru is what I'm concerned about. Am I correct in that I need to get a Legal Separation Agreement first? I thought I read somewhere that we have to be living apart beforehand, so I was a little confused, but maybe I read it wrong. . .

Also, we were trying to do this as a dissolution. Wouldn't I have to file for divorce to get the court to order support?
 
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Nevergrowup

Member
ohemgee said:
Thanks -- that's what I figured. The issue of him not following thru is what I'm concerned about. Am I correct in that I need to get a Legal Separation Agreement first? I thought I read somewhere that we have to be living apart beforehand, so I was a little confused, but maybe I read it wrong. . .

Also, we were trying to do this as a dissolution. Wouldn't I have to file for divorce to get the court to order support?
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I'm not familiar enough with separation agreements to advise you on the requirements. As far as support, you can have temporary support put into a separation agreement...that way it will be in writing and not just something he agreed to verbally and could stop. It can either be ordered, or the attorneys can work out a temporary agreement. Your lawyer would be best to advise you on the particulars of your state and requirements. Really, though, to move out, you have to be assured that you'll have enough money to pay for it. At this juncture, I don't see that as the case.

Also, you as the orginal poster of the first thread should be able to open and close the thread as you like.
 
Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
ohemgee said:
Thanks -- that's what I figured. The issue of him not following thru is what I'm concerned about. Am I correct in that I need to get a Legal Separation Agreement first? I thought I read somewhere that we have to be living apart beforehand, so I was a little confused, but maybe I read it wrong. . .

Also, we were trying to do this as a dissolution. Wouldn't I have to file for divorce to get the court to order support?
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You do NOT need a LEGAL SEPARATION FIRST. What you need to do if you are filing a dissolution is to file all the required affidavits as well as a dissolution "complaint" with a waiver of service and a legal separation agreement that covers ALL matters including support. If you do not have a legal separation agreement that grants support (spousal) it is considered waived.

File for a divorce and ask for temporary orders. Then you can always reach agreements later. Seriously though, YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
Ohiogal said:
You do NOT need a LEGAL SEPARATION FIRST. What you need to do if you are filing a dissolution is to file all the required affidavits as well as a dissolution "complaint" with a waiver of service and a legal separation agreement that covers ALL matters including support. If you do not have a legal separation agreement that grants support (spousal) it is considered waived.

File for a divorce and ask for temporary orders. Then you can always reach agreements later. Seriously though, YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY.
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Absolutely. That gets around all the worrying about whether stbx will follow through on his agreement or not.

And considering what's at stake, I wouldn't be doing a darned thing until talking with an attorney.
 
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Nevergrowup

Member
ecmst12 said:
Only if OP is the one who closed it. If it was closed by the moderator, only she can re-open it.
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Good to know:D. Seems to me I've seen people say "if it is your thread, reopen it, don't start a new thread" dozens of times, but I personally have never closed a thread I've started.
 
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