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  #1  
Old 11-04-2009, 11:30 PM
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my husband left me after 22 years marriage

I live in Tennessee. My husband left me after 22 years marriage, with no income.I am 56 and disabled.He is also 56 and we both are waiting on our approval for disability which the lawyers said might take 2 years. Am I entitled to part of his backpay?
  #2  
Old 11-04-2009, 11:43 PM
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Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
I live in Tennessee. My husband left me after 22 years marriage, with no income.I am 56 and disabled.He is also 56 and we both are waiting on our approval for disability which the lawyers said might take 2 years. Am I entitled to part of his backpay?
To clarify - you are both recently disabled, and you are both applying for disability? And neither of you have yet been approved?
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  #3  
Old 11-05-2009, 07:10 AM
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my husband left me after 22 years marriage

Yes, that is correct.Neither of us have been approved.
  #4  
Old 11-05-2009, 08:20 AM
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He has no more income than you do at this time?
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  #5  
Old 11-05-2009, 10:13 AM
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my husband left me after 22 years marriage

He has no income either,but he was drawing unemployment. I dont know if they will extend it or not.
  #6  
Old 11-05-2009, 10:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
I live in Tennessee. My husband left me after 22 years marriage, with no income.I am 56 and disabled.He is also 56 and we both are waiting on our approval for disability which the lawyers said might take 2 years. Am I entitled to part of his backpay?
What is your disability? And how long have you been disabled? How long has he been disabled? What is his disability?
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  #7  
Old 11-05-2009, 03:36 PM
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my husband left me after 22 years marriage

He had triple heart bypass surgery. He has been disabled since feb.2009. I have been disabled for 2 years for severe depression and anxiety.
  #8  
Old 11-05-2009, 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
He had triple heart bypass surgery. He has been disabled since feb.2009. I have been disabled for 2 years for severe depression and anxiety.
Because there is no guarantee that either of you will be approved it's virtually impossible to say what may or may not happen but if you divorce and then he is approved you will be entitled to nothing of his back-pay.

(Frankly I think it's unlikely you would be entitled to that anyway but it's not impossible)

And of course if YOU are approved he may be entitled to the exact same thing...bear that in mind.
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When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman

Quote:
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
  #9  
Old 11-06-2009, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
I live in Tennessee. My husband left me after 22 years marriage, with no income.I am 56 and disabled.He is also 56 and we both are waiting on our approval for disability which the lawyers said might take 2 years. Am I entitled to part of his backpay?
You won't get awarded a part of his backpay because of the low amount it is. Just like he wont' be awarded part of your backpay. By the way it goes both ways. Why do you believe you should get some of his and yet are not willing to part with some of yours?
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  #10  
Old 11-07-2009, 09:27 AM
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my husband left me after 22 years marriage

Because he abandoned me,after 22 years of waiting on him hand and foot.I didn't abandon him.I am still married to him. He has a responsibility.
  #11  
Old 11-07-2009, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
Because he abandoned me,after 22 years of waiting on him hand and foot.I didn't abandon him.I am still married to him. He has a responsibility.
Well he worked his ass off for you too for 22 years. You're EVEN!
  #12  
Old 11-07-2009, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
Because he abandoned me,after 22 years of waiting on him hand and foot.I didn't abandon him.I am still married to him. He has a responsibility.
How did you financially support him? He did NOT abandon you by the way. All he did was LEAVE you. Those are very different things. Seriously, you had an obligation to provide financial support for him as much as he provides financial support for you. For 22 years you did not do that.
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Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #13  
Old 11-07-2009, 02:03 PM
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my husband left me after 22 years marriage

You act like you know my whole life.I worked very hard in a nursing home and a prison and still took care of him and the kids and the house.You know nothing about me.
  #14  
Old 11-07-2009, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
Because he abandoned me,after 22 years of waiting on him hand and foot.I didn't abandon him.I am still married to him. He has a responsibility.
He is still married to you, too. It goes both ways.

Do you understand that disability back-pay is not a reward, it's not an "extra", it's not a "bonus"? It's simply a payment (which can be split) intended to cover the period between the date that you are determined to be disabled, and the date you actually start getting the monthly check.

It's not in addition to the monthly payment.
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*****************************


When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman

Quote:
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
  #15  
Old 11-07-2009, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by bluemermaid View Post
You act like you know my whole life.I worked very hard in a nursing home and a prison and still took care of him and the kids and the house.You know nothing about me.
This is moot. You are still married. Neither of you have been approved.
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*****************************


When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman

Quote:
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
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