My husband wants divorce and I'm handicapped

[Deb50]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania :very mad:

My husband told me on Christmas that he wanted a divorce. He's been seeing the other woman for a year. I had a ruff year. In March I had total knee replacement that got screwed up and now I can't walk or drive. I have no job or money. Nothing. I am devistated. We have been married 23 years and together 5 years before that. We've been together day and night so long that now I'm lost. I contacted 7 different places for help with no success. Even a suicide hotline couldn't help. I have been spending alot of time in my home, which is like a prison. My friends don't have the time to help and my family is no help. In July, I lost both my parents 24 hours apart and my brother got the house and everything. I asked him if I could move in and he said yes. Now he changed his mined because he drinks and I don't and have words in the past. I resently found out I have RSD. I've been trying to get help with a malpractice suit against the nusres that moved me, a another story. The lawyer I talked to about this said I'm screwed. I can't get SSI because I haven't worked in 10 years due to my medical problems. I've been so depressed that on the 31st of Dec I tried to commit suicide. I'm thankful now that I didn't. The Lord had something to do with this, another story. So I went to welfare, my husband said he would keep paying the bills and stay in the house. He wants a No Fault divorce and keeps hassling me about it. I told him that we can't do this because of owning the house. I've called legal aid but have yet to hear anything from them. My husband is mad that I want a lawyer to help me. But I feel I have no choice. He said he would not support me and I didn't deserve anything. He just wants to get on with his life. So, what am I to do? Any suggestions would greatly help. Thank you.

Deb50

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Deb50

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania :very mad:

My husband told me on Christmas that he wanted a divorce. He's been seeing the other woman for a year. I had a ruff year. In March I had total knee replacement that got screwed up and now I can't walk or drive. I have no job or money. Nothing. I am devistated. We have been married 23 years and together 5 years before that. We've been together day and night so long that now I'm lost. I contacted 7 different places for help with no success. Even a suicide hotline couldn't help. I have been spending alot of time in my home, which is like a prison. My friends don't have the time to help and my family is no help. In July, I lost both my parents 24 hours apart and my brother got the house and everything. I asked him if I could move in and he said yes. Now he changed his mined because he drinks and I don't and have words in the past. I resently found out I have RSD. I've been trying to get help with a malpractice suit against the nusres that moved me, a another story. The lawyer I talked to about this said I'm screwed. I can't get SSI because I haven't worked in 10 years due to my medical problems. I've been so depressed that on the 31st of Dec I tried to commit suicide. I'm thankful now that I didn't. The Lord had something to do with this, another story. So I went to welfare, my husband said he would keep paying the bills and stay in the house. He wants a No Fault divorce and keeps hassling me about it. I told him that we can't do this because of owning the house. I've called legal aid but have yet to hear anything from them. My husband is mad that I want a lawyer to help me. But I feel I have no choice. He said he would not support me and I didn't deserve anything. He just wants to get on with his life. So, what am I to do? Any suggestions would greatly help. Thank you.

Deb50

Make an appointment for a consultation with an attorney. Get a friend to drive you to the appointment. You have been married long enough, and with the addition of your handicap, that you can certainly get alimony and a fair property settlement. Its also very likely that your husband would be ordered to pay YOUR legal fees. Therefore please get yourself a consultation. You need and deserve the protection of an attorney.

[JuJu3858]

I live in PA too I am going through just about the same things as you are. My husband had not one but two affairs while I was the sickest I had ever been in my life. He now lives with the last woman and the baby they had. I agree with the other post you need to get a lawyer. You can get alimony for life in PA. My lawyer and I are going to ask for it for me. I wish you the best.

[JuJu3858]

you can also tell your husband that the divorce rate for marrying someone you had an affair with is 75%

[dogwood]

in 10 years you can still apply for ssi, its based on what you own, not the same as ssd.. you do not have to have put in to the system with ssi. Do it soon as it takes a while. dog

[cyana24]

Originally Posted by dogwood

in 10 years you can still apply for ssi, its based on what you own, not the same as ssd.. you do not have to have put in to the system with ssi. Do it soon as it takes a while. dog

Yes, SSI would one choice, but it's "asset based". If Deb gets a lawyer/legal aid who's aggressive the attorney could ask for lifetime alimony and a fair percentage of any equity in their house and any other assets, plus her soon-to-be-ex could end up paying her legal fees. These assets might make Deb ineligible for SSI (supplemental ssecurity income).

Deb50 - have you any idea how much marital debt you have, including any mortgage debt- because that's part of property division?

Lifetime alimony is practically a guarantee, though, I agree. I was divorced in DE after a 22+ yr marriage (very similar to your circumstances), am also permenantly disabled, and I was awarded lifetime alimony (but it's a small amount).

As far a "getting around" you're most likely eligible for PA's paratransit system. Have you thought of that? Have you looked into PA Medicaid yet? If you have very limited financial resources until or after your divorce, you may be able to get paratransit transportation at a reduced cost assuming you're not on a "fixed" route (that's the criteria for DE at least because many fixed route buses have "wheelchair lifts" or "kneel" [lower]).