Closed Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Deb50 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    5

    Angry My husband wants divorce and I'm handicapped

    What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania :very mad:

    My husband told me on Christmas that he wanted a divorce. He's been seeing the other woman for a year. I had a ruff year. In March I had total knee replacement that got screwed up and now I can't walk or drive. I have no job or money. Nothing. I am devistated. We have been married 23 years and together 5 years before that. We've been together day and night so long that now I'm lost. I contacted 7 different places for help with no success. Even a suicide hotline couldn't help. I have been spending alot of time in my home, which is like a prison. My friends don't have the time to help and my family is no help. In July, I lost both my parents 24 hours apart and my brother got the house and everything. I asked him if I could move in and he said yes. Now he changed his mined because he drinks and I don't and have words in the past. I resently found out I have RSD. I've been trying to get help with a malpractice suit against the nusres that moved me, a another story. The lawyer I talked to about this said I'm screwed. I can't get SSI because I haven't worked in 10 years due to my medical problems. I've been so depressed that on the 31st of Dec I tried to commit suicide. I'm thankful now that I didn't. The Lord had something to do with this, another story. So I went to welfare, my husband said he would keep paying the bills and stay in the house. He wants a No Fault divorce and keeps hassling me about it. I told him that we can't do this because of owning the house. I've called legal aid but have yet to hear anything from them. My husband is mad that I want a lawyer to help me. But I feel I have no choice. He said he would not support me and I didn't deserve anything. He just wants to get on with his life. So, what am I to do? Any suggestions would greatly help. Thank you.

    Deb50
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,699
    Quote Originally Posted by Deb50
    What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania :very mad:

    My husband told me on Christmas that he wanted a divorce. He's been seeing the other woman for a year. I had a ruff year. In March I had total knee replacement that got screwed up and now I can't walk or drive. I have no job or money. Nothing. I am devistated. We have been married 23 years and together 5 years before that. We've been together day and night so long that now I'm lost. I contacted 7 different places for help with no success. Even a suicide hotline couldn't help. I have been spending alot of time in my home, which is like a prison. My friends don't have the time to help and my family is no help. In July, I lost both my parents 24 hours apart and my brother got the house and everything. I asked him if I could move in and he said yes. Now he changed his mined because he drinks and I don't and have words in the past. I resently found out I have RSD. I've been trying to get help with a malpractice suit against the nusres that moved me, a another story. The lawyer I talked to about this said I'm screwed. I can't get SSI because I haven't worked in 10 years due to my medical problems. I've been so depressed that on the 31st of Dec I tried to commit suicide. I'm thankful now that I didn't. The Lord had something to do with this, another story. So I went to welfare, my husband said he would keep paying the bills and stay in the house. He wants a No Fault divorce and keeps hassling me about it. I told him that we can't do this because of owning the house. I've called legal aid but have yet to hear anything from them. My husband is mad that I want a lawyer to help me. But I feel I have no choice. He said he would not support me and I didn't deserve anything. He just wants to get on with his life. So, what am I to do? Any suggestions would greatly help. Thank you.

    Deb50
    Make an appointment for a consultation with an attorney. Get a friend to drive you to the appointment. You have been married long enough, and with the addition of your handicap, that you can certainly get alimony and a fair property settlement. Its also very likely that your husband would be ordered to pay YOUR legal fees. Therefore please get yourself a consultation. You need and deserve the protection of an attorney.
  3. #3
    JuJu3858 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    6
    I live in PA too I am going through just about the same things as you are. My husband had not one but two affairs while I was the sickest I had ever been in my life. He now lives with the last woman and the baby they had. I agree with the other post you need to get a lawyer. You can get alimony for life in PA. My lawyer and I are going to ask for it for me. I wish you the best.
  4. #4
    JuJu3858 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    6
    you can also tell your husband that the divorce rate for marrying someone you had an affair with is 75%
  5. #5
    dogwood is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    here at home
    Posts
    53

    even if you havent worked

    in 10 years you can still apply for ssi, its based on what you own, not the same as ssd.. you do not have to have put in to the system with ssi. Do it soon as it takes a while. dog
  6. #6
    cyana24 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    216
    Quote Originally Posted by dogwood
    in 10 years you can still apply for ssi, its based on what you own, not the same as ssd.. you do not have to have put in to the system with ssi. Do it soon as it takes a while. dog
    Yes, SSI would one choice, but it's "asset based". If Deb gets a lawyer/legal aid who's aggressive the attorney could ask for lifetime alimony and a fair percentage of any equity in their house and any other assets, plus her soon-to-be-ex could end up paying her legal fees. These assets might make Deb ineligible for SSI (supplemental ssecurity income).

    Deb50 - have you any idea how much marital debt you have, including any mortgage debt- because that's part of property division?

    Lifetime alimony is practically a guarantee, though, I agree. I was divorced in DE after a 22+ yr marriage (very similar to your circumstances), am also permenantly disabled, and I was awarded lifetime alimony (but it's a small amount).

    As far a "getting around" you're most likely eligible for PA's paratransit system. Have you thought of that? Have you looked into PA Medicaid yet? If you have very limited financial resources until or after your divorce, you may be able to get paratransit transportation at a reduced cost assuming you're not on a "fixed" route (that's the criteria for DE at least because many fixed route buses have "wheelchair lifts" or "kneel" [lower]).

Similar Threads

  1. Can I get a divorce if i don't now were my husband is?
    By cmh0584 in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-29-2008, 10:00 PM
  2. Divorce, don't know where husband is?
    By JS1223 in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-14-2007, 07:07 AM
  3. Husband says he wants a divorce. What do I do?
    By km28540 in forum Marriage, Domestic Partnerships and Other Family Law Matters
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-11-2007, 03:13 PM
  4. My husband wants to divorce me
    By sanguine73 in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-04-2005, 07:02 AM
  5. husband wants divorce
    By redsprocket in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-01-2005, 06:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.