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My husband won't pay alimony or child support

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ChelseaHilton

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was married to my husband for the last 10 years. Few months back. we separated. This is largely due to my husband being a control freak. He had problems with me wearing certain type of clothes. Also, he had problems with people I met. I had tolerated this for the sake of my daughter who is 9 now. But, few months back, I had enough of his controlling nature. So, I told him we needed to have a break and see other people because I wasn't sure If i could continue my life with him for the rest of life. He didn't like that idea either. But, he did moved out and found another place for himself. I made my decision to divorce him after gibing a lot of thought.

I told him I wanted custody of our daughter and that he could have her every weekend. He works for longer hours and comes home around 8 in the evening. Because of that, he won't be able to give more time to his daughter during the weekdays. Since, I'm not working, I would be able to give her the time she needs growing up. I don't want to ruin her childhood. I had stopped working after giving birth to her in order to spend more time with her.

He didn't like the idea of me having custody over her. And, he threatened me saying he won't pay alimony or child support if I divorce him. He's paying house rent so, he said the court won't force him to pay alimony. He also said since I won't be able to receive child support, the court won't let my daughter stay with me. On top of that he accused me of cheating on him saying having a break and seeing other people wasn't a mutual decision. He said that won't help me in court either.

Now, I have decided to take him to court. Before I do that, I want to know if he is required by law to pay alimony and child support along with house rent. I have started working but he earns way more than I do. Will this have any impact on the situation? I wanted to know all this before I approach an attorney.

Thanks.
 


not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Well, if you *have* been seeing other people, that *is* cheating. In fact, it's adultery.

You can't have your cake and eat it. If you are married, and in agreement that one spouse will stay home with the kid(s), that's fine. But when you choose to divorce, you don't get to dictate all the terms. Not getting your way in everything is not abuse.

Don't get me wrong: he's probably no saint either. In fact, you probably got together because you are equally nice people.

*If* you two can't agree on who should have custody, and neither wants the other to have custody, then a judge will decide for you two what is in the child's best interest, and you will both have to deal with the outcome.

You will probably end up with joint custody. You can kiss goodbye your spouse supporting you forever. And he may have to pay child support. Then again, maybe you'll have to pay child support.

The crystal ball is out at the repair shop for a cleaning.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was married to my husband for the last 10 years. Few months back. we separated. This is largely due to my husband being a control freak. He had problems with me wearing certain type of clothes. Also, he had problems with people I met. I had tolerated this for the sake of my daughter who is 9 now. But, few months back, I had enough of his controlling nature. So, I told him we needed to have a break and see other people because I wasn't sure If i could continue my life with him for the rest of life. He didn't like that idea either. But, he did moved out and found another place for himself. I made my decision to divorce him after gibing a lot of thought.

I told him I wanted custody of our daughter and that he could have her every weekend. He works for longer hours and comes home around 8 in the evening. Because of that, he won't be able to give more time to his daughter during the weekdays. Since, I'm not working, I would be able to give her the time she needs growing up. I don't want to ruin her childhood. I had stopped working after giving birth to her in order to spend more time with her.

He didn't like the idea of me having custody over her. And, he threatened me saying he won't pay alimony or child support if I divorce him. He's paying house rent so, he said the court won't force him to pay alimony. He also said since I won't be able to receive child support, the court won't let my daughter stay with me. On top of that he accused me of cheating on him saying having a break and seeing other people wasn't a mutual decision. He said that won't help me in court either.

Now, I have decided to take him to court. Before I do that, I want to know if he is required by law to pay alimony and child support along with house rent. I have started working but he earns way more than I do. Will this have any impact on the situation? I wanted to know all this before I approach an attorney.

Thanks.
He's not required to do anything until there's a court order. If he's paying rent or the mortgage however, and already lives away from the home, this would typically impact alimony in one way or another.

Child support will be ordered per CA guidelines and since your daughter is 9, expect him to request that you're imputed a wage equal to at least 40hrs@ min. wage or what you're capable of earning full time. Being a SAHP when your child is 9 might be a hard sell, and you should expect him to actually file for custody, too.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Well, if you *have* been seeing other people, that *is* cheating. In fact, it's adultery.

You can't have your cake and eat it. If you are married, and in agreement that one spouse will stay home with the kid(s), that's fine. But when you choose to divorce, you don't get to dictate all the terms. Not getting your way in everything is not abuse.

Don't get me wrong: he's probably no saint either. In fact, you probably got together because you are equally nice people.

*If* you two can't agree on who should have custody, and neither wants the other to have custody, then a judge will decide for you two what is in the child's best interest, and you will both have to deal with the outcome.

You will probably end up with joint custody. You can kiss goodbye your spouse supporting you forever. And he may have to pay child support. Then again, maybe you'll have to pay child support.

The crystal ball is out at the repair shop for a cleaning.
They have a 10 year marriage and it's California ... unfortunately permanent alimony is a very real possibility (assuming he actually earns a better-than-decent living himself; the court won't make him destitute in order to let Mom stay home).
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Truthfully, she shouldn't get permanent alimony. She needs to support herself. Even if the law allows. Arrgghh.. I do believe that alimony needs to be reevaluated -- the laws for such. But this OP seems to think she can demand ANYTHING and hubby needs to give in. How pathetic. Maybe she should go after one of her boyfriends to support her.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
They have a 10 year marriage and it's California ... unfortunately permanent alimony is a very real possibility (assuming he actually earns a better-than-decent living himself; the court won't make him destitute in order to let Mom stay home).
Yes, depending upon when and how they separated: Cruise/Kidman. ;)
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
LOL when the only common denominator in four different situations is you ... then you need to do some serious self-reflection :D ;)
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Truthfully, she shouldn't get permanent alimony. She needs to support herself. Even if the law allows. Arrgghh.. I do believe that alimony needs to be reevaluated -- the laws for such. But this OP seems to think she can demand ANYTHING and hubby needs to give in. How pathetic. Maybe she should go after one of her boyfriends to support her.
Careful, if Bali gets wind of that, we're ALL in for a dose of medicine!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was married to my husband for the last 10 years. Few months back. we separated. This is largely due to my husband being a control freak. He had problems with me wearing certain type of clothes. Also, he had problems with people I met. I had tolerated this for the sake of my daughter who is 9 now. But, few months back, I had enough of his controlling nature. So, I told him we needed to have a break and see other people because I wasn't sure If i could continue my life with him for the rest of life. He didn't like that idea either. But, he did moved out and found another place for himself. I made my decision to divorce him after gibing a lot of thought.

I told him I wanted custody of our daughter and that he could have her every weekend. He works for longer hours and comes home around 8 in the evening. Because of that, he won't be able to give more time to his daughter during the weekdays. Since, I'm not working, I would be able to give her the time she needs growing up. I don't want to ruin her childhood. I had stopped working after giving birth to her in order to spend more time with her.

He didn't like the idea of me having custody over her. And, he threatened me saying he won't pay alimony or child support if I divorce him. He's paying house rent so, he said the court won't force him to pay alimony. He also said since I won't be able to receive child support, the court won't let my daughter stay with me. On top of that he accused me of cheating on him saying having a break and seeing other people wasn't a mutual decision. He said that won't help me in court either.


Now, I have decided to take him to court. Before I do that, I want to know if he is required by law to pay alimony and child support along with house rent. I have started working but he earns way more than I do. Will this have any impact on the situation? I wanted to know all this before I approach an attorney.

Thanks.
I agree pretty much with everyone else, however I will add that the bolded is pretty much BS. Its true that the fact that he is paying the house rent might factor into the alimony calculation but the rest of it is total BS.
 

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