Post-trial help

[timmayy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

History: 16 yr marriage, two children, divorced 2012, primary residence of one child to each parent. Wife income at time of divorce 19k, husband 155k. CS to wife of 900/mo, alimony to wife of 2100/mo. Maine has CS guidelines but no alimony guidelines.

2014: Child with husband chose to move in with mother. Oldest child is a high school senior, the youngest a sophomore. Mother filed for addnl CS. Father filed motion to modify spousal support and non-guideline CS based on income change and existing large alimony award. Since divorce, wife's income had increased to 37k, husbands income decr to 140k (involuntary steady decline in income from second job). In addition, husband had remarried in 2014 and has a step-child living with them (wife is a student with no income). Case went to trial Oct 2015.

I am in need desperate need of advice. This case went to trial last week and it did not go well. Wife and attorney presented a story of wife and children suffering despite increase in income. I was made out to be a piece of garbage. My attorney's performance was abysmal. I was fighting his strong biases from the outset. His initial meeting comment to me was "no man is every happy with the support he has to pay." Unfortunately, I had already committed to this attorney and did not have the financial resources to hire a different one. Things with him only got worse from there. I was constantly fighting his perception/bias that our incomes were vastly different and wife was in poverty (after support, wife roughly 75k and husband 104k. Husband also with higher tax liability). I begged my attorney to highlight/pursue the following at trial and he would not listen to me:

- wife's income has incr by 1.4k mo while husb has decr 1.2k per month
- husband had relocated in 2014 to state with higher cost of living in 2014 after child moved out. Relocated due to wife's documented harassment. This higher COL and new dependents were extenuating circumstances that also impacted/offset her taking on another child
- using post-support income breakdown percentage at the time of divorce, total support applying the same percentages to current income should make support approx. 1500/mo (esp if considering extenuating circumstances)
- wife asked for attorney's fees. husband's attny refused to ask for them of wife despite current post support income of 75k vs 104k saying it would anger the judge to ask for them since husband makes so much more
- husband in crisis getting eviction notices from rental while wife actually is purchasing a home. Husband's family unable to afford healthcare, etc.
- husband provided reams of discovery materials to other side including 2yrs of detailed bank and credit card statements, etc that was used against him. wife refused to provide discovery beyond 1yr bank statements and the most recent month's credit card statements. attny would not advise the judge of this or demand proper discovery
- husband's attny did not present how wife was making 2-20x minimum monthly payments on credit accts, $100 haircuts, etc
- husband's attny did not bring up numerous discrepancies in wife's budget between financial statement, bank statements, interrogatories, etc
- husband's attny did not bring up numerous instances of contempt of the original court order regarding shared decision making for children and parental alienation
- husband's attny hammered into him to only answer questions with yes/no answers and not editorialize anything thus wife was able to make her situation seem real and husband's true situation was never shown​

So here I am. On the verge of bankruptcy and eviction waiting for judgment that will take weeks to months and if my senses are correct, facing increased support rather than decreased. My wife is ready to leave me to go on welfare since we can't afford copays and medical care.

Can I write the judge and explain how my attny failed me and beg for him to consider what he refused to do or argue? Should I ask if I should just give it all up and become a missionary since it's not worth continuing in my career if we cant be together and healthy? Depending upon the outcome, is appeal realistic? Can I demand my attorney file something with additional information/points prior to the judgment or get an emergency hearing?

Thank you for any and all advice.

 

[stealth2]

Why did you move to a higher COL state? You do realize that your new wife and her kid are moot to your legal situation, yes?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

History: 16 yr marriage, two children, divorced 2012, primary residence of one child to each parent. Wife income at time of divorce 19k, husband 155k. CS to wife of 900/mo, alimony to wife of 2100/mo. Maine has CS guidelines but no alimony guidelines.

2014: Child with husband chose to move in with mother. Oldest child is a high school senior, the youngest a sophomore. Mother filed for addnl CS. Father filed motion to modify spousal support and non-guideline CS based on income change and existing large alimony award. Since divorce, wife's income had increased to 37k, husbands income decr to 140k (involuntary steady decline in income from second job). In addition, husband had remarried in 2014 and has a step-child living with them (wife is a student with no income). Case went to trial Oct 2015.

Tell your wife to get off her butt and get a job to support HER child. You have two children to support and the step child needs supported by both of his parents.

I am in need desperate need of advice. This case went to trial last week and it did not go well. Wife and attorney presented a story of wife and children suffering despite increase in income. I was made out to be a piece of garbage. My attorney's performance was abysmal. I was fighting his strong biases from the outset. His initial meeting comment to me was "no man is every happy with the support he has to pay." Unfortunately, I had already committed to this attorney and did not have the financial resources to hire a different one. Things with him only got worse from there. I was constantly fighting his perception/bias that our incomes were vastly different and wife was in poverty (after support, wife roughly 75k and husband 104k. Husband also with higher tax liability). I begged my attorney to highlight/pursue the following at trial and he would not listen to me:

So you can't live on 104k a year? Really?

- wife's income has incr by 1.4k mo while husb has decr 1.2k per month
- husband had relocated in 2014 to state with higher cost of living in 2014 after child moved out. Relocated due to wife's documented harassment. This higher COL and new dependents were extenuating circumstances that also impacted/offset her taking on another child​

New dependents? Oh your stepchild and wife. Your wife needs to get a job. She should contribute to the support in the house. Was alimony determined to be modifiable in the original decree? You also CHOSE to move away from your children and to a state with a higher cost of living. That was a CHOICE you made.

- using post-support income breakdown percentage at the time of divorce, total support applying the same percentages to current income should make support approx. 1500/mo (esp if considering extenuating circumstances)

The extenuating circumstances mattered not.

- wife asked for attorney's fees. husband's attny refused to ask for them of wife despite current post support income of 75k vs 104k saying it would anger the judge to ask for them since husband makes so much more

Your attorney was correct.

- husband in crisis getting eviction notices from rental while wife actually is purchasing a home. Husband's family unable to afford healthcare, etc.

So you live above your means and your wife doesn't work. Seems like your current wife needs to get a job. You can't afford healthcare on 104k a year? REALLY?

- husband provided reams of discovery materials to other side including 2yrs of detailed bank and credit card statements, etc that was used against him. wife refused to provide discovery beyond 1yr bank statements and the most recent month's credit card statements. attny would not advise the judge of this or demand proper discovery

Really?

- husband's attny did not present how wife was making 2-20x minimum monthly payments on credit accts, $100 haircuts, etc

She can spend her money on what she wants to spend it on.

- husband's attny did not bring up numerous discrepancies in wife's budget between financial statement, bank statements, interrogatories, etc

So there interrogatories. How then was discovery not "proper"?

- husband's attny did not bring up numerous instances of contempt of the original court order regarding shared decision making for children and parental alienation

That has nothing to do with motions regarding child support and alimony. Did you file contempt PRIOR to custody changing? or are you just griping now?

- husband's attny hammered into him to only answer questions with yes/no answers and not editorialize anything thus wife was able to make her situation seem real and husband's true situation was never shown

Really?

So here I am. On the verge of bankruptcy and eviction waiting for judgment that will take weeks to months and if my senses are correct, facing increased support rather than decreased. My wife is ready to leave me to go on welfare since we can't afford copays and medical care.

Have your lazy wife get a job and work and contribute to the income.

Can I write the judge and explain how my attny failed me and beg for him to consider what he refused to do or argue?

Nope.

Should I ask if I should just give it all up and become a missionary since it's not worth continuing in my career if we cant be together and healthy?

Why don't you look at who is to blame -- which would be you and your current wife.

Depending upon the outcome, is appeal realistic? Can I demand my attorney file something with additional information/points prior to the judgment or get an emergency hearing?

Don't know if appeal is realistic. Do you have $5k or so for an appeal?

Thank you for any and all advice.

You made several bad decisions.
1) You moved out of state away from your children to a state with a higher cost of living. YOU CHOSE TO DO THAT.
2) You chose to marry a woman who had a child but who doesn't work to support said child and you allow that situation to continue.
3) You chose to make bad decisions rather than good ones.
4) You chose to live above your income.
5) You chose to allow your child to move in with his mother because he wanted to do so.
Do you see how this is not your attorney's fault but rather based upon your choices?

 

[Proserpina]

I'm going to take this bit by bit.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

History: 16 yr marriage, two children, divorced 2012, primary residence of one child to each parent. Wife income at time of divorce 19k, husband 155k. CS to wife of 900/mo, alimony to wife of 2100/mo. Maine has CS guidelines but no alimony guidelines.

Okay. There is a huge disparity in income, obviously.

2014: Child with husband chose to move in with mother. Oldest child is a high school senior, the youngest a sophomore. Mother filed for addnl CS. Father filed motion to modify spousal support and non-guideline CS based on income change and existing large alimony award. Since divorce, wife's income had increased to 37k, husbands income decr to 140k (involuntary steady decline in income from second job). In addition, husband had remarried in 2014 and has a step-child living with them (wife is a student with no income). Case went to trial Oct 2015.

Your income changed from $155k to $140k. That is a change of $15k, which is just around 10%. Maine (from memory at least) requires there to be at least a 15% reduction in order to get a downwards modification in child support - and that's if the timeshare remains the same. If it changes (which it has), the CP will of course seek an upwards mod (their expenses will have increased, obviously).

What's really hurting you though isn't so much the ex-wife and support as it is the fact that you are now living in a higher COL area and supporting your new wife and her child and getting no help from your wife (financially) in doing so. The court will not penalize your children for the choices you have made. Yes, I realize that sounds harsh, but it's also reality. Is there a reason why your wife can't work?

I am in need desperate need of advice. This case went to trial last week and it did not go well. Wife and attorney presented a story of wife and children suffering despite increase in income. I was made out to be a piece of garbage. My attorney's performance was abysmal. I was fighting his strong biases from the outset. His initial meeting comment to me was "no man is every happy with the support he has to pay."

He's correct in that statement, for the most part. Not seeing any bias there.

Unfortunately, I had already committed to this attorney and did not have the financial resources to hire a different one. Things with him only got worse from there. I was constantly fighting his perception/bias that our incomes were vastly different and wife was in poverty (after support, wife roughly 75k and husband 104k. Husband also with higher tax liability).

Not counting the support, your incomes ARE vastly, vastly different. And you'll be able to get the tax break for the spousal support.

I begged my attorney to highlight/pursue the following at trial and he would not listen to me:

- wife's income has incr by 1.4k mo while husb has decr 1.2k per month​

You're not counting the support as your ex-wife's income, right? She's actually earning virtually double what she was?

- husband had relocated in 2014 to state with higher cost of living in 2014 after child moved out. Relocated due to wife's documented harassment. This higher COL and new dependents were extenuating circumstances that also impacted/offset her taking on another child

You chose to relocate. The new dependents are not extenuating circumstances - not for the purposes of calculating support. Again, the court sees this as a choice you made, not a situation over which you had no control.

- using post-support income breakdown percentage at the time of divorce, total support applying the same percentages to current income should make support approx. 1500/mo (esp if considering extenuating circumstances)

That's not how it works, either.

- wife asked for attorney's fees. husband's attny refused to ask for them of wife despite current post support income of 75k vs 104k saying it would anger the judge to ask for them since husband makes so much more

Again, that's not how it works. Your attorney is actually trying to help you.

- husband in crisis getting eviction notices from rental while wife actually is purchasing a home. Husband's family unable to afford healthcare, etc.

Why isn't husband's wife working? Is child's father supporting child?

- husband provided reams of discovery materials to other side including 2yrs of detailed bank and credit card statements, etc that was used against him. wife refused to provide discovery beyond 1yr bank statements and the most recent month's credit card statements. attny would not advise the judge of this or demand proper discovery
- husband's attny did not present how wife was making 2-20x minimum monthly payments on credit accts, $100 haircuts, etc
- husband's attny did not bring up numerous discrepancies in wife's budget between financial statement, bank statements, interrogatories, etc
- husband's attny did not bring up numerous instances of contempt of the original court order regarding shared decision making for children and parental alienation
- husband's attny hammered into him to only answer questions with yes/no answers and not editorialize anything thus wife was able to make her situation seem real and husband's true situation was never shown

Your attorney actually did you a MASSIVE favor. I'll explain further down.

So here I am. On the verge of bankruptcy and eviction waiting for judgment that will take weeks to months and if my senses are correct, facing increased support rather than decreased. My wife is ready to leave me to go on welfare since we can't afford copays and medical care.

Can I write the judge and explain how my attny failed me and beg for him to consider what he refused to do or argue? Should I ask if I should just give it all up and become a missionary since it's not worth continuing in my career if we cant be together and healthy? Depending upon the outcome, is appeal realistic? Can I demand my attorney file something with additional information/points prior to the judgment or get an emergency hearing?

Thank you for any and all advice.

No, you can't write to the judge. That would be considered an ex parte communication and such a letter likely wouldn't make it off of the clerk's desk.

In terms of appeal, here's the deal. Not liking the decision is not grounds for an appeal. You would need to find an error of law - in other words, you'd need to show that the judge erred in his decision. As a practical matter in family law this is incredibly difficult and moreso when it comes to the financial side of things; judges are generally given a substantial amount of latitude.

But this is what I think you need to understand.

You can't use post-support income the way you're trying to use it - that's not how it works. If the earlier figure you used represents a wage/salary increase of $1.4k/month, then you can plug the numbers and see if it makes a huge difference. But if you're using post-support income, that's just not going to work.

Your attorney from the sounds of it actually did you some favors here; he's obviously aware of what is and isn't a factor and appears (at least at first glance) to have done his best to keep things on track versus mentioning a list of items he knows aren't going to work in your favor.

It does need to be pointed out again too, that your wife and her child are not going to matter here. Your wife will probably need to find at least part-time work and the child's father should be supporting his child, too.

I am NOT unsympathetic to you - at least as far as spousal support goes. I have my own bias against spousal support, but it's neither here nor there. I'm more concerned that you seem to have been blindsided by the whole thing and a decent amount of that comes from what I think you expected to happen.

So let's start there for now.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

History: 16 yr marriage, two children, divorced 2012, primary residence of one child to each parent. Wife income at time of divorce 19k, husband 155k. CS to wife of 900/mo, alimony to wife of 2100/mo. Maine has CS guidelines but no alimony guidelines.

2014: Child with husband chose to move in with mother. Oldest child is a high school senior, the youngest a sophomore. Mother filed for addnl CS. Father filed motion to modify spousal support and non-guideline CS based on income change and existing large alimony award. Since divorce, wife's income had increased to 37k, husbands income decr to 140k (involuntary steady decline in income from second job). In addition, husband had remarried in 2014 and has a step-child living with them (wife is a student with no income). Case went to trial Oct 2015.

I am in need desperate need of advice. This case went to trial last week and it did not go well. Wife and attorney presented a story of wife and children suffering despite increase in income. I was made out to be a piece of garbage. My attorney's performance was abysmal. I was fighting his strong biases from the outset. His initial meeting comment to me was "no man is every happy with the support he has to pay." Unfortunately, I had already committed to this attorney and did not have the financial resources to hire a different one. Things with him only got worse from there. I was constantly fighting his perception/bias that our incomes were vastly different and wife was in poverty (after support, wife roughly 75k and husband 104k. Husband also with higher tax liability). I begged my attorney to highlight/pursue the following at trial and he would not listen to me:

- wife's income has incr by 1.4k mo while husb has decr 1.2k per month
- husband had relocated in 2014 to state with higher cost of living in 2014 after child moved out. Relocated due to wife's documented harassment. This higher COL and new dependents were extenuating circumstances that also impacted/offset her taking on another child
- using post-support income breakdown percentage at the time of divorce, total support applying the same percentages to current income should make support approx. 1500/mo (esp if considering extenuating circumstances)
- wife asked for attorney's fees. husband's attny refused to ask for them of wife despite current post support income of 75k vs 104k saying it would anger the judge to ask for them since husband makes so much more
- husband in crisis getting eviction notices from rental while wife actually is purchasing a home. Husband's family unable to afford healthcare, etc.
- husband provided reams of discovery materials to other side including 2yrs of detailed bank and credit card statements, etc that was used against him. wife refused to provide discovery beyond 1yr bank statements and the most recent month's credit card statements. attny would not advise the judge of this or demand proper discovery
- husband's attny did not present how wife was making 2-20x minimum monthly payments on credit accts, $100 haircuts, etc
- husband's attny did not bring up numerous discrepancies in wife's budget between financial statement, bank statements, interrogatories, etc
- husband's attny did not bring up numerous instances of contempt of the original court order regarding shared decision making for children and parental alienation
- husband's attny hammered into him to only answer questions with yes/no answers and not editorialize anything thus wife was able to make her situation seem real and husband's true situation was never shown​

So here I am. On the verge of bankruptcy and eviction waiting for judgment that will take weeks to months and if my senses are correct, facing increased support rather than decreased. My wife is ready to leave me to go on welfare since we can't afford copays and medical care.

Can I write the judge and explain how my attny failed me and beg for him to consider what he refused to do or argue? Should I ask if I should just give it all up and become a missionary since it's not worth continuing in my career if we cant be together and healthy? Depending upon the outcome, is appeal realistic? Can I demand my attorney file something with additional information/points prior to the judgment or get an emergency hearing?

Thank you for any and all advice.

My former divorce attorney must have been kicked out of NY and moved to Maine. I'll have to check that out.