+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 16
Like Tree2Likes

Thread: Proving Cohabitation

  1. #1
    Desperate one is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    14

    Proving Cohabitation

    What is the name of your state?I live in Vermont, as does my ex wife. Right now I have to pay my ex almost half my salary in spousal maintenance because she claimed to not have worked during our 20 year marriage, which was not true. She always had a part-time job, but the judge believed everything she said and my lawyer was useless. Near the end of our marriage she worked under the table, and only claimed half of the income on the tax returns and therefore only claimed to make half of what she actually makes when we went to court. She also got the house and everything in it, supposedly because we still had a 16 year child at home. Now, she has a boyfriend whom I hear is living with her. I want to try to prove this in court so the alimony can be dropped, but I do not know what methods will hold up in court. I don't have a lawyer now because I can not afford one, as I still owe the one I used previously lots of money. Would video taping the guy going in at night and leaving every mornig for a week be enough proof? Or is there something else the court would need as proof. Obviously my kids won't testify, and I don't want to ask them to do that anyway. I just feel like it's not fair that I am here struggling to make ends meet week to week and she's sitting pretty with her boyfriend enjoying the house I bought, with all the furniture I paid for, and the nice garage I built and the pool I paid for! Also, we were married 20 years but she got the spousal maintenance for 15!!!!!! How is that fair?? We were both 42 at the time, so we both have time to start over so why so long with the alimony?? So, again what proof do I need in court to prove cohabitation? If anyone knows, I would greatly appreciate the help.
  2. #2
    4nomore is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    26
    Well. To start with 15 years of alimony for a 20 year marriage is not alot. After 10 years of marriage it usually states in the divorce doc no end date just "until further order of the court" If you have an end date count yourself lucky. Some with long term marriages could pay forever.

    Its not just proving the BF is living there but paying some of the bills to run the house as well. Then you could say that she does not need full support since another is also paying the bills. Its unlikey your pmts would end all together. I am sure the ex would say he just comes and goes but does not live there
  3. #3
    MandyD is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    451
    What does your mainenance order say in respect to cohabitating?
  4. #4
    Desperate one is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    14

    Proving Cohabitation

    The divorce stipulated that she would get the alimony for 15 years and would terminate upon remarriage or cohabitation. I realize the burden of proof is on me, so I am desperate to know what proof I need that will hold up in court. I figure even if I can't prove it now, there may come a time when I can and I want to be prepared. Also, since I do not have a lawyer I was wondering if it's possible to subpoena her bank records to prove the boyfriend is giving her money, or even to prove that she makes more money than she claims to make. Does anyone know if I can get a subpoena, and if so how do I go about doing this???
    Last edited by Desperate one; 08-11-2005 at 11:37 AM. Reason: Additional question
  5. #5
    bononos is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    1,437
    Please, someone corect me if I am wrong, I don't want to advise you to do something illegal, but I believe you can go garbage picking. Once garbage is out you may sneak over, throw a bag in your trunk and root through it. Hopefully there are some bills in his name or something.
    Sounds like fun, huh?
    Don't get caught!
  6. #6
    RoxieHart is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    7
    OOoooh... i definetly think that is legal, after all you do see all those shows where they dig stuff out of the trash and make it something super expensive!
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    66,084
    Quote Originally Posted by Desperate one
    The divorce stipulated that she would get the alimony for 15 years and would terminate upon remarriage or cohabitation. I realize the burden of proof is on me, so I am desperate to know what proof I need that will hold up in court. I figure even if I can't prove it now, there may come a time when I can and I want to be prepared. Also, since I do not have a lawyer I was wondering if it's possible to subpoena her bank records to prove the boyfriend is giving her money, or even to prove that she makes more money than she claims to make. Does anyone know if I can get a subpoena, and if so how do I go about doing this???
    Since the divorce stipulated that it would terminate upon marriage or cohabitation, unless you suspect that she was making really significant money it probably wouldn't be worth your while to attempt to subpeona bank or earnings records. Earnings really only matter if they are signficant and there is no ending date for the alimony.

    The only thing that is really going to help you is proving that she is cohabitating. Remember, if he has his own home where he pays all of his own bills..but just stays at her home alot, that isn't cohabitating. Cohabitating is where they share a single home and the bills associated with that single home.

    I don't know how long you have been divorced, however I assume that you realize that the alimony is above the line tax deductible to you, and taxable income to her? Make sure that you are taking the tax break that you are entitled to recieve.
  8. #8
    ablessin is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    813
    Quote Originally Posted by RoxieHart
    OOoooh... i definetly think that is legal, after all you do see all those shows where they dig stuff out of the trash and make it something super expensive!
    Once the trash can is on public property ANYONE can go through it!!!!!!!!

    It's free for the picking, if you want to try that, it's a very good way to confirm your thoughts.
  9. #9
    pointedhead is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by 4nomore View Post
    Well. To start with 15 years of alimony for a 20 year marriage is not alot. After 10 years of marriage it usually states in the divorce doc no end date just "until further order of the court" If you have an end date count yourself lucky. Some with long term marriages could pay forever.

    Its not just proving the BF is living there but paying some of the bills to run the house as well. Then you could say that she does not need full support since another is also paying the bills. Its unlikey your pmts would end all together. I am sure the ex would say he just comes and goes but does not live there
    What if she moves in with him;totally and still paying his own bills?
  10. #10
    pointedhead is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    2
    what if she moves in and lives with him and all bills are shown in his name
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,825
    Why are you posting to something that is FOUR YEARS OLD?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  12. #12
    lost18018 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    18018
    Posts
    2

    Smile cohabitation

    I am not sure how it works in your state, in the state of New Jersey one files a motion to reduce or eliminate alimony (depends on what your divorce papers say) based on "changed circumstances". If you can prove that your ex is cohabitating with her boyfriend, then it is up to the ex to prove that this cohabitation is of no economic benefit to them. Once you file the motion the judge usually orders a hearing for which you do discovery. the ex spouse has to then provide you and the courts with documentation about her finances ect. the state of new jersey also requires that one show that the couple are presenting themselves to the community and family as a couple, so try to get pictures of them taking trips, visiting friends ect. A private investigator is expensive but worth the expense.
  13. #13
    lost18018 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    18018
    Posts
    2

    Why are you posting to something that is FOUR YEARS OLD?

    because people read these that is why... the information is information. why are you worried about it?
  14. #14
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    66,084
    Quote Originally Posted by lost18018 View Post
    because people read these that is why... the information is information. why are you worried about it?
    Because it is contrary to forum netiquette both to necropost and to post questions on someone else's thread.
  15. #15
    edixon79 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2

    Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by lost18018 View Post
    because people read these that is why... the information is information. why are you worried about it?
    I found this information very helpful, and its 2012!

Similar Threads

  1. Proving cohabitation
    By jc0909 in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 12-19-2011, 03:56 PM
  2. Non-self proving Will
    By jdeelowe in forum Wills, Trusts and Estate Planning
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-14-2010, 09:27 PM
  3. Proving cohabitation
    By Cross Hair in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-02-2009, 05:38 PM
  4. Proving Cohabitation???
    By upthewassu in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 04-10-2006, 08:27 AM
  5. Proving up?? Tx
    By Skari in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-29-2001, 11:23 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.