Proving Cohabitation???

[upthewassu]

I live in Ohio and have been divorced for 4 yrs. My ex was given 8 yrs of spousal support and child support. I work as commissioned salesman. Due to business conditions in this area my income has dropped 50%. Ex divorced me just after my best three yrs of sales .\r\nThe divorce agreement reads the spousal support will terminate \"if the wife cohabits with an unrelated,adult. Cohabitation for the purpose of this provision shall be defined as in a residence sense and not assuming the financial or other obligation ordinarily related to a marriage." We have joint custody of our 17yr old son. The ex has a boyfriend in the next state that she stays with the weeks she does not have my son. She has put her condo up for sale and plans to move to the town where boyfriend is which also is where her mother lives. She has been moving small amounts of her stuff over the past few months into boyfriends house. This has been verified by my children. I realize once she ! moves I will become the residential parent and not have to pay child support. She claims she is moving in with her mother. What evidence do I need to "prove" the she is living with boyfriend? Would this be impossible to prove? What will a good P.I. cost? She's getting 2K a month in spousal support plus 600 child support. The Child Support is constantly threatening me for being behind..she's getting half of everything I make. I haven't read any articles where anyone has been successful in terminating the support

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by upthewassu

I live in Ohio and have been divorced for 4 yrs. My ex was given 8 yrs of spousal support and child support. I work as commissioned salesman. Due to business conditions in this area my income has dropped 50%. Ex divorced me just after my best three yrs of sales .\r\nThe divorce agreement reads the spousal support will terminate \"if the wife cohabits with an unrelated,adult. Cohabitation for the purpose of this provision shall be defined as in a residence sense and not assuming the financial or other obligation ordinarily related to a marriage." We have joint custody of our 17yr old son. The ex has a boyfriend in the next state that she stays with the weeks she does not have my son. She has put her condo up for sale and plans to move to the town where boyfriend is which also is where her mother lives. She has been moving small amounts of her stuff over the past few months into boyfriends house. This has been verified by my children. I realize once she ! moves I will become the residential parent and not have to pay child support. She claims she is moving in with her mother. What evidence do I need to "prove" the she is living with boyfriend? Would this be impossible to prove? What will a good P.I. cost? She's getting 2K a month in spousal support plus 600 child support. The Child Support is constantly threatening me for being behind..she's getting half of everything I make. I haven't read any articles where anyone has been successful in terminating the support

Why do you ASSUME you will be residential parent when she moves and not have to pay child support? Either one or both of them may be wrong. Some NCPs RECEIVE child support from the CP based on great disparities in income under Ohio's calculations.
As for cohabitation -- Start with how many nights she is staying at the boyfriend's. Is she on the lease? What does her driver's license say for address? Where does she receive mail? Where are the MAJORITY of her belongings at?
More importantly how do you define unrelated in the order? I ask because if she marries the boyfriend, they become related. And an argument can be made that you still have to support her for 8years unless your order states that it ends upon remarriage. (NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!)

[upthewassu]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Why do you ASSUME you will be residential parent when she moves and not have to pay child support? Either one or both of them may be wrong. Some NCPs RECEIVE child support from the CP based on great disparities in income under Ohio's calculations.
As for cohabitation -- Start with how many nights she is staying at the boyfriend's. Is she on the lease? What does her driver's license say for address? Where does she receive mail? Where are the MAJORITY of her belongings at?
More importantly how do you define unrelated in the order? I ask because if she marries the boyfriend, they become related. And an argument can be made that you still have to support her for 8years unless your order states that it ends upon remarriage. (NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!)

I just find it hard to believe that if a parent moves out of state and the child lives with you 100% of the time that the court wouldn't name you residential parent. No she would not have her name on his mortgage and yes you can have your mail forwarded to wherever you want. The agreement also the spousal support ends if she remarry. For how long of period does one have to prove she is living with some else?Why do the courts ignore deceit? Why are these divorce agreements even written if one party can ignore anytime she feels like it?

[stealth2]

I think OhioGal's point was that you cannot assume that the kids will come to live with you.

And... what's a wassu? Why are you up it?

[justalayman]

Originally Posted by stealth2

And... what's a wassu? Why are you up it?

You do jest, do you not?

[upthewassu]

Originally Posted by stealth2

I think OhioGal's point was that you cannot assume that the kids will come to live with you.

And... what's a wassu? Why are you up it?

the kid is 17yr and not about to leave ... it not what I'm up...its what was shoved up mine and didn't even get kissed by the court system

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by upthewassu

the kid is 17yr and not about to leave ... it not what I'm up...its what was shoved up mine and didn't even get kissed by the court system

You say childREN, which would indicate that the 17yo is not the only one.

And I suspect you meant wazoo. So no, I do not jest. Unless you consider yourself one of the indigenous peoples of Brazil or you live in Gambia.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by upthewassu

the kid is 17yr and not about to leave ... it not what I'm up...its what was shoved up mine and didn't even get kissed by the court system

In your first post you mentioned children...and now you are mentioning just one child. Are the rest already legal adults?

Your obligation to support her ends in 4 years. Your obligation to provide child support ends when your son graduates, which will be even sooner....or when you get custody.

Your costs in fighting to terminate child support may not be great....but your costs to attempt to terminate spousal support could be very high....particularly if you hire a PI, and you could lose.

So think it through carefully. You are luckier than some people because you KNOW that there is an end in sight. At that point you will be sitting pretty and she will be up the creek without a paddle. Think about how good that is going to feel......

[upthewassu]

Originally Posted by stealth2

You say childREN, which would indicate that the 17yo is not the only one.

And I suspect you meant wazoo. So no, I do not jest. Unless you consider yourself one of the indigenous peoples of Brazil or you live in Gambia.

Could be there are children older than 18 involved and perhaps in your righteous way you could pull your head out of your Wazoo!

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by upthewassu

Could be there are children older than 18 involved and perhaps in your righteous way you could pull your head out of your Wazoo!

Then the other children are moot to the equation. Now - could I type if my head was up my wazoo, silly boy?

[upthewassu]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

In your first post you mentioned children...and now you are mentioning just one child. Are the rest already legal adults?

Your obligation to support her ends in 4 years. Your obligation to provide child support ends when your son graduates, which will be even sooner....or when you get custody.

Your costs in fighting to terminate child support may not be great....but your costs to attempt to terminate spousal support could be very high....particularly if you hire a PI, and you could lose.

So think it through carefully. You are luckier than some people because you KNOW that there is an end in sight. At that point you will be sitting pretty and she will be up the creek without a paddle. Think about how good that is going to feel......

Yes, there are two older daughters and though I probaly wasn't real clear, I was wondering if there was any successful cases out there of proving cohabitation.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by upthewassu

I just find it hard to believe that if a parent moves out of state and the child lives with you 100% of the time that the court wouldn't name you residential parent. No she would not have her name on his mortgage and yes you can have your mail forwarded to wherever you want. The agreement also the spousal support ends if she remarry. For how long of period does one have to prove she is living with some else?Why do the courts ignore deceit? Why are these divorce agreements even written if one party can ignore anytime she feels like it?

If the child lives with YOU 100% of the time and mom lives with her boyfriend when your son is NOT with her, wouldn't that mean mom lives with the boyfriend 100% of the time? If that's the case, WHY are you having such a hard time proving where mom lives?

[upthewassu]

Originally Posted by ceara19

If the child lives with YOU 100% of the time and mom lives with her boyfriend when your son is NOT with her, wouldn't that mean mom lives with the boyfriend 100% of the time? If that's the case, WHY are you having such a hard time proving where mom lives?

I said WHEN she sells her condo and moves out of state, she is claiming that she is moving in with her mother although all her material stuff is being moved into the boyfriend's house. As I said you can have your mail forwarded to anywhere you please. Her son is pissed that she is leaving during his senior year and the older daughters are mad and embarrassed that their Mom is trying cheat me out 4yrs of spousal support. Her only thoughts are the money.....

[nextwife]

You can hire a PI once she's moved and have him monitor boyfriend's residence for a couple of weekdays to prove her comings and goings are from boyfriend's and NOT her mom's.

If the kids stay with you you MUST file for a modification of custody and CS before you can legally sytop the CS..

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by upthewassu

I just find it hard to believe that if a parent moves out of state and the child lives with you 100% of the time that the court wouldn't name you residential parent. No she would not have her name on his mortgage and yes you can have your mail forwarded to wherever you want. The agreement also the spousal support ends if she remarry. For how long of period does one have to prove she is living with some else?Why do the courts ignore deceit? Why are these divorce agreements even written if one party can ignore anytime she feels like it?

First of all for you to get legal custody the court has to approve. If she moves out of state UNTIL you go back to court, the current parenting agreement holds. Which means if she gets the child every other week, she will still get the child every other week regardless of where she lives UNTIL you go back to court to get it changed. Which takes time. When is planning on moving? Has she filed a notice of relocation with the court? Have you objected to her taking the child?
And don't start about how the 17 year old wants to stay with you to graduate, blah blah blah. Doesn't mean squat. Don't say the two of you -- you and your ex -- have agreed. Doesn't mean squat until you go back to court. And you only go back to court if you are objecting to her moving the child to whereever. The court has to approve it. Which means if you have an agreement, you get it in writing and you both submit it as an agreed entry for the court to sign off on. If you don't agree, then you petition the court to grant you custody. 17 year old does NOT dictate. Got it?
For cohabitation -- How long a period? How long does it take to establish residency? How long does it take to prove that she is living and not visiting. It would have to be a "reasonable" time. There is NO statutory period to prove cohabitation. Two weeks is visiting. Longer MIGHT do it. That is why time is NOT the only factor.
And the courts do NOT ignore deceit IF it can be proven that the person is being deceitful. Visiting with her boyfriend for a week at a time does not show cohabitation. Especially if she maintains her own residence. Your order could have stated quite frankly what consituted cohabitation. It doesn't. So that is your fault.