school tuition & divorce

[kelkel]

What is the name of your state? I live in Kentucky, and my ex & I share joint custody of our 2 children. I pay 100% of the childrens school tuition (elementary and middle school), and am in the process of moving them to a different private school. My ex says that she's going to file an injunction to stop this from happening. According to my attorney, I have the right to move them or take them out of private school entirely since I pay tuition, but I'd like some other opinions.

[stealth2]

If Mom has joint legal custody, she certainly has some say, regardless of who's footing the bill. Why are you moving them?

[kelkel]

Several reasons: the new school is a catholic school, and the schools they attend now are not, and also because they go to seperate schools, and both kids could go to the same school if moved.

Also, there has been no formal custody hearing yet.

[stealth2]

And these only became issues now?

[kelkel]

The schools where the kids have been attending are very small schools, which offer virtually no athletics, and quite honestly, the academics have fallen short this year also. We had talked about moving the kids prior to the divorce, which was filed in October 2006 and just finalized a few weeks ago.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by kelkel

The schools where the kids have been attending are very small schools, which offer virtually no athletics, and quite honestly, the academics have fallen short this year also. We had talked about moving the kids prior to the divorce, which was filed in October 2006 and just finalized a few weeks ago.

Yet neither of you felt it important enough to address as part of the divorce. Interesting.

[kelkel]

while that may be true, I'm trying to get some opinions as to whether or not she has any grounds for filing this injunction. Again, according to my attorney (new attorney, might I add-there were several things not addressed in the divorce or the settlement agreement), unless she is willing to contribute to the cost of tuition, it is solely up to me where the kids attend school.

[stealth2]

Well, I would posit that, assuming your ex has joint legal custody, your lawyer is wrong. Mom has every right to provide input regarding her-also children's education. And if the two of you don't agree, to take it to the judge to decide.

[kelkel]

Thank you for your input.

[CJane]

I'm unclear on how your divorce is final, but there's no formal custody agreement, and yet you have 'joint legal and physical' custody.

Other than that, I can only say that I think your attorney is wrong. If you actually have joint legal custody, I would presume that there's a clause somewhere in there for the parents JOINTLY making the major decisions that affect the children's health, education or welfare. Whether or not you pay tuition is most likely irrelevant. That should no more be a determining factor than being able to say "I provide the health insurance, so I can switch doctors at will"... it just doesn't and shouldn't work that way.

[kelkel]

The divorce is final. The judge ordered us to attend a program called PACT to try to come to a mutual custody agreement. Come to find out, this PACT program is actually a research project being conducted by our university here, so we did not have to attend. Instead I have asked that the judge set a formal visitation schedule, which he has not done yet. In the meantime, we switch the kids every Sunday.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by kelkel

The divorce is final. The judge ordered us to attend a program called PACT to try to come to a mutual custody agreement. Come to find out, this PACT program is actually a research project being conducted by our university here, so we did not have to attend.

That's not at all what it sounds like PACT is... it actually sounds a LOT like a lot of state mandated conflict resolution classes. How is it that you were 'ordered' to attend, and then came to the conclusion that you didn't have to go? Did the judge release you from the order?

This is what I found by googling PACT + kentucky + custody + divorce

[url]http://courts.ky.gov/stateprograms/divorceeducation/PACT.htm[/url]

PACT (Parents Achieving with Collaborative Teams) – Jefferson County project

PACT is an innovative court-community collaboration project designed to manage conflict and improve child well-being in high conflict, separated families who are unable to resolve custody/parenting issues and who continue to re-litigate.

The PACT project is a six session program that is led by a qualified facilitator (licensed marriage and/or family therapist) that combines conflict resolution and family/community support.

The major goals of the project are:

1. Help high conflict divorced/separated parents better understand their children’s needs and concerns
2. Help parents protect their children inter-parental conflict
3. Reduce repeated litigation over unresolved parenting issues
4. Develop a parenting/resolving conflict plan
5. Increase compliance with parenting plans that best meet the needs of the child.

To be referred, family court judges and attorneys will identify potentially eligible parents based on the following selection criteria:

1. Parents who have a divorce case, pre or post decree
2. Parents with at least one child between the ages of six and eleven
3. All members of the family reside in Jefferson County, KY
4. Parents have filed two or more motions related to custody or visitation issues
5. Outstanding issues revolved around custody and visitation issues, not property or child support.

Typically these cases have experienced changes in attorneys, cross Emergency Protective Orders that do not result in Domestic Violence Orders, mutual restraining orders, contempt motions, motions for attorney’s fees, emergency motions and orders, or etc.

For additional information about the PACT project, contact Dr. Joe Brown, 502-852-8794.

It actually sounds like an excellent program in helping people figure out EXACTLY the problems you seem to be having. So why not go?

Instead I have asked that the judge set a formal visitation schedule, which he has not done yet. In the meantime, we switch the kids every Sunday.

Is it possible that the judge is waiting for you to attend the classes he ORDERED you to attend?

Do you split the kids 50/50 then?

[kelkel]

We attended the FIT classes (FAmilies in transition) which helped us to set a temporary custody schedule. My attorney made a motion to dismiss the order for the PACT classes due to the fact that my ex is totally unwilling to negotiate anything (she walked out of the initial mediation) unless there is an order from the judge. The cost of the PACT is $800 per person, and I was ordered to pay for both of us. It would have been money wasted, especially considering I would have had to miss a lot of work ( she does not work). I have not heard an answer yet whether or not the PACT order has been dismissed. So we currently split the kids 50/50, without any formal order in place yet.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by kelkel

We attended the FIT classes (FAmilies in transition) which helped us to set a temporary custody schedule. My attorney made a motion to dismiss the order for the PACT classes due to the fact that my ex is totally unwilling to negotiate anything (she walked out of the initial mediation) unless there is an order from the judge. The cost of the PACT is $800 per person, and I was ordered to pay for both of us. It would have been money wasted, especially considering I would have had to miss a lot of work ( she does not work). I have not heard an answer yet whether or not the PACT order has been dismissed.

Until the judge makes a decision on THAT motion, don't expect a decision on your follow-up motion.

How long has it been since the motion was filed? Was it filed by your current or previous attorney?

So we currently split the kids 50/50, without any formal order in place yet.

If you managed to come to a temp arrangement of 50/50, how do you figure that Mom is unwilling to negotiate? It's not as if 50/50 is standard.

Would the new school impact mom's time with the kids? Where are the schools in proximity to you, and to mom? Old schools vs new schools?

Was tuition addressed in the divorce decree? Are you ordered to pay it, or are you voluntarily paying it?

Are both parents Catholic? Were the children raised Catholic? Is there a compelling reason to change schools, other than the athletics which presumably didn't just recently become an issue?

[kelkel]

I attended the assessment class for PACT to find out if I was a candidate approx 2 mths ago. My new attorney made the motion to dismiss approx 1 mth ago, to which we have not heard an answer yet, not have I heard from PACT to find out about my assessment. Tuition was not discusses in the settlement agreement or the divorce decree, so I supposed I'm paying the tuition voluntarially. I do pay maintenance & child support though. Trust me, mom will not agree to anything at this point. Unfortunately, it has come down to the money as far as she is concerned. The move to a new school will not affect her time with the kids, nor will she have to go "out of her way" to get them to & from school. Yes, we are a Catholic family, and quite honestly, the main reason for wanting to switch schools is that my daughter is basically failing the 6th grade, and after countless emails & phone calls to her school without a response, I would rather spend my money elsewhere. That, and the fact that having both kids at the same school would be more convient for everyone.