Should I just pay, or fight it!

[joverile]

California

I'm about to file for divorce. I'd rather not pay spousal support (obviously), but have been told that by default I'll have to pay several hundred every month for 30 months. someone else recommended I get an attorney to help me fight it so I don't have to pay (or at least cost out expense of an attorney vs. expense of spousal support payments).
It seems like it would be easier to negotiate a lower monthly amount with my spouse and just get it over with rather than fight. at this point, we are civil and agreeable.
any input is appreciated.

btw, I'll try to provide relevant info:

spouse works part time by choice, was out of work for 2 1/2 yrs+ of 5 yr marriage (also by choice)
we have one minor child
is that it? let me know what I forgotWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by joverile

California

I'm about to file for divorce. I'd rather not pay spousal support (obviously), but have been told that by default I'll have to pay several hundred every month for 30 months. someone else recommended I get an attorney to help me fight it so I don't have to pay (or at least cost out expense of an attorney vs. expense of spousal support payments).
It seems like it would be easier to negotiate a lower monthly amount with my spouse and just get it over with rather than fight. at this point, we are civil and agreeable.
any input is appreciated.

btw, I'll try to provide relevant info:

spouse works part time by choice, was out of work for 2 1/2 yrs+ of 5 yr marriage (also by choice)
we have one minor child
is that it? let me know what I forgotWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Did an attorney tell you this, or a coworker?

[joverile]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Did an attorney tell you this, or a coworker?

A Mediator told me I'd have to pay, a trusted friend told me to fight it (he is not divorced but apparently saw his daughter go through this experience and she got "ripped off" when she shouldn't have).

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by joverile

A Mediator told me I'd have to pay, a trusted friend told me to fight it (he is not divorced but apparently saw his daughter go through this experience and she got "ripped off" when she shouldn't have).

Except for one of our members, I have no knowledge of mediators knowing squat about the law. They are there to facilitate agreement. Sometimes, they pick a side. Sometimes, they try to railroad that "agreement." (*covers head, runs for cover from The FanClub of Mediators!*)

You want advice from StampGirl and/or CourtClerk here on FA. You can research their past posts by clicking on their names. I'll send messages to them to please check out your thread.

Generally...and this is very general...you might be ordered to pay "rehabilitative spousal support" for a term equaling roughly half the length of your short-term marriage.

It's an excellent idea to compare the cost of coming to an agreement on your own vs. the cost of an attorney.

[StampGirl]

Originally Posted by joverile

California

I'm about to file for divorce. I'd rather not pay spousal support (obviously), but have been told that by default I'll have to pay several hundred every month for 30 months. someone else recommended I get an attorney to help me fight it so I don't have to pay (or at least cost out expense of an attorney vs. expense of spousal support payments).
It seems like it would be easier to negotiate a lower monthly amount with my spouse and just get it over with rather than fight. at this point, we are civil and agreeable.
any input is appreciated.

btw, I'll try to provide relevant info:

spouse works part time by choice, was out of work for 2 1/2 yrs+ of 5 yr marriage (also by choice)
we have one minor child
is that it? let me know what I forgotWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Let me give you my background from my divorce as it is similar to yours:

We were married 6.5yrs. Judge ordered alimony/spousal support for 1/2 the marriage (approx 3yrs) for a specific amount. Then he ordred child support on top of that. All amounts based on his salary and me making $0.

I had only worked part-time for a few yrs and was a stay-home mom the rest of the time and we had 3 children (1 was just born at time of divorce).

Since its considered a "short-term" marriage, lifetime support won't happen but you might be ordered to pay a small amount for half the length of the marraige depending on your salary and her earning capability.

I could live on the support amounts (very low mortgage) so I went back to school for 3yrs and then went to work a year after the support stopped. I still receive child support obviously.

If you fight it, ask that your spouse be imputed an income. My ex didn't do that because I agreed to other things.

Good luck.

[StampGirl]

[quote=Silverplum;2193827]Except for one of our members, I have no knowledge of mediators knowing squat about the law. They are there to facilitate agreement. Sometimes, they pick a side. Sometimes, they try to railroad that "agreement." (*covers head, runs for cover from The FanClub of Mediators!*)

You want advice from StampGirl and/or CourtClerk here on FA. You can research their past posts by clicking on their names. I'll send messages to them to please check out your thread.

QUOTE]

LOL I love our mediator. She knows her chit LOL She puts my ex and me at times, into our place and has saved us $$$$ by not being in court.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by StampGirl

LOL I love our mediator. She knows her chit LOL She puts my ex and me at times, into our place and has saved us $$$$ by not being in court.

Apparently, CO's mediators are not as superior as CA's.

That's okay -- you Californians need something about which to feel superior!

*does the duck & run thing again!*

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Apparently, CO's mediators are not as superior as CA's.

That's okay -- you Californians need something about which to feel superior!

*does the duck & run thing again!*

CA mediators get to make recommendations to the court if they are court appointed mediators...that is what gives them some superiority to mediators in other states.

I don't know about CO, but in many states (including mine) mediation is entirely private between the parties and the judge isn't permitted to know anything other than mediation failed....unless the parties agree to disclose what they have agreed upon and what sticking points they still have.

So, if the OP is dealing with a court appointed mediator, and the mediator feels that alimony is appropriate for XX amount of time, for XX amount of dollars, the judge may agree.

[CourtClerk]

Originally Posted by joverile

California

I'm about to file for divorce. I'd rather not pay spousal support (obviously), but have been told that by default I'll have to pay several hundred every month for 30 months. someone else recommended I get an attorney to help me fight it so I don't have to pay (or at least cost out expense of an attorney vs. expense of spousal support payments).
It seems like it would be easier to negotiate a lower monthly amount with my spouse and just get it over with rather than fight. at this point, we are civil and agreeable.
any input is appreciated.

btw, I'll try to provide relevant info:

spouse works part time by choice, was out of work for 2 1/2 yrs+ of 5 yr marriage (also by choice)
we have one minor child
is that it? let me know what I forgotWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

This is going to be negotiations almost like buying a car. 30 months of spousal maintenance for a 60 month marriage is about right, give or take a couple of months, but even that is not a guarantee.

You've got child support until the child reaches 18.

Given that there is no formula for spousal support like there is for child support, take the amount you were given and see how much less you can get your STBX to agree to. If you come to an agreeable amount, put it in an MSA. If you get an attorney involved, you are SURE to spend a couple of thousand dollars (minimum) to figure it out.

Not that I ever recommend a man to just roll over and give women whatever they want, you're going to have to do a cost benefit analysis on this one.

[CourtClerk]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

CA mediators get to make recommendations to the court if they are court appointed mediators...that is what gives them some superiority to mediators in other states.

CA Family Court mediators deal with CHILD CUSTODY ISSUES, even then, at least in my county, they don't make recommendations. Other than that, they may go to ADR, however, it is far and few between.

[joverile]

By the way, I am the wife in this scenario. Any hope for sympathy from a judge that will get me out of paying spousal support? Husband only chose not to work. Child was in daycare most of the time while husband stayed home doing nothing.

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

This is going to be negotiations almost like buying a car. 30 months of spousal maintenance for a 60 month marriage is about right, give or take a couple of months, but even that is not a guarantee.

You've got child support until the child reaches 18.

Given that there is no formula for spousal support like there is for child support, take the amount you were given and see how much less you can get your STBX to agree to. If you come to an agreeable amount, put it in an MSA. If you get an attorney involved, you are SURE to spend a couple of thousand dollars (minimum) to figure it out.

Not that I ever recommend a man to just roll over and give women whatever they want, you're going to have to do a cost benefit analysis on this one.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by joverile

By the way, I am the wife in this scenario. Any hope for sympathy from a judge that will get me out of paying spousal support? Husband only chose not to work. Child was in daycare most of the time while husband stayed home doing nothing.

This is a gender neutral situation. However, you may be able to make some argument against spousal support if he wasn't staying home to care for the child or to be a homemaker. Don't expect it to get you much in the way of results however.

Like CC said, you have a cost analysis to do here. Don't end up spending more in legal fees than you could possibly save.

For example, if its going to cost you 500.00 a month in spousal support, but a high priced lawyer gets it kicked down to 300.00 a month, that's a 6k savings. However, if the legal fees end up being 10k, its a 4k loss.

On the other hand, if its going to cost you 1000.00 a month in spousal support and a high priced lawyer gets it down to 500.00 a month, then 10k in legal fees vs 15k in savings might be worth it.

[StampGirl]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

CA Family Court mediators deal with CHILD CUSTODY ISSUES, even then, at least in my county, they don't make recommendations. Other than that, they may go to ADR, however, it is far and few between.

Hmm our court appointed mediator made recommendations to our judge. The ex just chose to sign it in the mediator's office and send it upstairs for the judge to sign into an order.