Sick of it!

[debi43]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am getting sick and tired of having to wait for my spousal maintenance. My X is supposed to mail it on a certain date, and it is usually late. Is there anyway to have him abide by the courts decision. It's not right that these X's are allowed to sent payment whenever they feel like it!

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by debi43

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am getting sick and tired of having to wait for my spousal maintenance. My X is supposed to mail it on a certain date, and it is usually late. Is there anyway to have him abide by the courts decision. It's not right that these X's are allowed to sent payment whenever they feel like it!

Be thankful that your X is paying at all. Do you have any idea how many X's refuse to obey the court orders at all?

Your X is probably just sending it late to annoy you. Don't let your annoyance show.

[thedoctorisin]

It goes both ways. I pay spousal support and child support on time every month, and my ex-wife pays me back by interfering and causing trouble at every turn.

[debi43]

[i] how many X's refuse to obey the court orders at all

This is my point exactly! What good is a court order if an X can get away with it. The laws are too lieniate. Why should I be grateful he's paying. . He's not doing me any favors! I contributed to the marriage too. I would have liked to stay married.

It's this kind of attitude that makes this type of behavior seem acceptable.

And yes, it goes both ways. There are women too, who have to pay alimony. They too, should abide by the LAW!

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by debi43

[i] how many X's refuse to obey the court orders at all

This is my point exactly! What good is a court order if an X can get away with it. The laws are too lieniate. Why should I be grateful he's paying. . He's not doing me any favors! I contributed to the marriage too. I would have liked to stay married.

It's this kind of attitude that makes this type of behavior seem acceptable.

And yes, it goes both ways. There are women too, who have to pay alimony. They too, should abide by the LAW!

With your attitude, you should also be grateful you found the sucker to marry you. I can't imagine why he divorced you.

How is work going?

[Astrolink]

I've read from many posters how they can't make it through the month financially, when their child support or alimony is late. The same crisis seems to occur month after month. There is a simply solution. Take out a loan, or from savings, or a credit card, or wherever, the amount you recieve each month, and keep it in reserve. As you pay your bills from this fund each month, replenish when you get the CS or alimony. That way, there is never a crisis from a late payment. Good luck.

[debi43]

Thank you for your input but that doesn't solve the problem. Why should the spouse who is supposed to receive spousal maintenance be inconvienced because the X spouse paying feels like annoying or being vindictive to the divorced spouse.

Your suggestion although very good, only puts a bandaid on the situation.

To Bali Hai. I am confused at your comment. It seems like you approve of this behavior. There are many X spouses, and children who are suffering because of this game playing between X spouses. It is not right. To further comment on your derogatory statement, I am the one who chose to divorce my spouse.

[Astrolink]

Ultimately, putting the money aside just one month, gives you an unlimited "box" of band-aids to correct the problem every month. If you think it's worth it to feel the stress you've shown here month after month for years, when there is a simple solution, then so be it. Going to court for forced compliance will cost much more than this, and only add more stress. Good luck.

[Gracie3787]

Originally Posted by debi43

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am getting sick and tired of having to wait for my spousal maintenance. My X is supposed to mail it on a certain date, and it is usually late. Is there anyway to have him abide by the courts decision. It's not right that these X's are allowed to sent payment whenever they feel like it!

There is an easy fix for your problem. Your ex IS paying, although he's always paying it late.
So, the best thing to do will be for you to beat him at his own game. You know the payments will be late, so you should budget accordingly. For instance, if your order states that he is supposed to MAIL the payment on the 15th of the month, just tell yourself that he will mail it on the 20th every month. It will be alot easier for you to budget and you won't be getting upset because it won't be "late".

The problem is that your ex IS paying. I know, it's frustrating that he is paying late, but the legal fact is that if you were to try to take this to court you most likely would get no where. Actually, the Judge could end up changing the due date, and then you'd still run into the same problem since it sounds like ex is determined to pay late simply to upset you. Don't let him win at that game.

[debi43]

Thank you all for giving helpful advice, and putting things in perspective for me. Your input has helped tremendously!
Thanks again!

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by debi43

Thank you for your input but that doesn't solve the problem. Why should the spouse who is supposed to receive spousal maintenance be inconvienced because the X spouse paying feels like annoying or being vindictive to the divorced spouse.

Your suggestion although very good, only puts a bandaid on the situation.

To Bali Hai. I am confused at your comment. It seems like you approve of this behavior. There are many X spouses, and children who are suffering because of this game playing between X spouses. It is not right. To further comment on your derogatory statement, I am the one who chose to divorce my spouse.

With choice also comes consequences. I ask again, how is WORK going??

[debi43]

In response to your question. Work is going very well. I don't understand why you ask that

[tuffbrk]

Originally Posted by debi43

[i] how many X's refuse to obey the court orders at all

This is my point exactly! What good is a court order if an X can get away with it. The laws are too lieniate. Why should I be grateful he's paying. . He's not doing me any favors! I contributed to the marriage too. I would have liked to stay married.

It's this kind of attitude that makes this type of behavior seem acceptable.

And yes, it goes both ways. There are women too, who have to pay alimony. They too, should abide by the LAW!

Submit a motion to the courts ending the alimony. Now you won't be dependent on someone who wants nothing to do with you (hence the divorce) and also - you won't get upset anymore than a handout is being received late. Problem solved.

Stop whining and be happy you receive it at all.