Single Mothers Rights??

[bbenson]

I'm trying to help out a friend of a friend. Here is a summary:

State: Florida
Status: Illegal Immigrant, Guatemala
Marital Status: Single
Gender: F

Situation:

She has a son, 6 mo old. The father is married and was married at the time they "made" the child. The fathers wife is aware of situation. He has been paying for a car and rent for her up until this week (at least 1.5 years). $400 for the car (in his name) and $600 for rent give or take. He also has been paying her cell phone and perhaps some other expenses. He is not paying for any child care or basics like food or diapers to my knowledge. Certainly not recently.

She called the fathers wife a week or so ago. She knew about the affair and son and said never call her again. Since then, the father has taken possession of the car, stopped paying rent on her apartment (month to month), and stopped her cell phone.

The child has his last name. She would like to return to Guatemala with the child. She has no income. The father will not sign papers for a passport for the child. He also is not supporting the child in any way. I don't know what papers there are showing he is the father other than the child certainly has his last name. He is a legal resident by the way.

One general question and one specific question:

What should she do? That's the general question. Bare in mind she has no transportation, income, or food and is being evicted. The father doesn't want the child, he is just punishing her.

Her landlord says he will evict her immediately for nonpayment. She won't be late until July 1. She has no rental contract. How much notice do they need to give her in Florida?


This is kind of a sad one, because the father doesn't care, she just wants to take the kid to Guatemala, and the father is making life as miserable as he can for her. He wants nothing to do with the kid. She has had trouble finding a Spanish speaking lawyer in Bradenton FL where she lives.

Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm trying to help out a friend of a friend. Here is a summary:

State: Florida
Status: Illegal Immigrant, Guatemala
Marital Status: Single
Gender: F

Situation:

She has a son, 6 mo old. The father is married and was married at the time they "made" the child. The fathers wife is aware of situation. He has been paying for a car and rent for her up until this week (at least 1.5 years). $400 for the car (in his name) and $600 for rent give or take. He also has been paying her cell phone and perhaps some other expenses. He is not paying for any child care or basics like food or diapers to my knowledge. Certainly not recently.

She called the fathers wife a week or so ago. She knew about the affair and son and said never call her again. Since then, the father has taken possession of the car, stopped paying rent on her apartment (month to month), and stopped her cell phone.

The child has his last name. She would like to return to Guatemala with the child. She has no income. The father will not sign papers for a passport for the child. He also is not supporting the child in any way. I don't know what papers there are showing he is the father other than the child certainly has his last name. He is a legal resident by the way.

One general question and one specific question:

What should she do? That's the general question. Bare in mind she has no transportation, income, or food and is being evicted. The father doesn't want the child, he is just punishing her.

Her landlord says he will evict her immediately for nonpayment. She won't be late until July 1. She has no rental contract. How much notice do they need to give her in Florida?


This is kind of a sad one, because the father doesn't care, she just wants to take the kid to Guatemala, and the father is making life as miserable as he can for her. He wants nothing to do with the kid. She has had trouble finding a Spanish speaking lawyer in Bradenton FL where she lives.

Any advice is appreciated.

Any reason she couldn't take an interpretor with her to an English speaking attorney??

 

[Just Blue]

BB....I sent a PM to the Immigration Lawyer that advises on this site...Hopefully she can help with this issue.

 

[LdiJ]

Is dad listed as the father on the birth certificate? If you don't know the answer to that question, please find out.

Also, if mom wants to post here, I do speak spanish.

 

[Ohiogal]

She needs to file for child support.

 

[nextwife]

She needs to file for child support.

Indeed. But I would not be surprised if her CS is less than the $1200/mo she had been getting.

 

[bbenson]

Let me try to post answers to your questions:

>>Any reason she couldn't take an interpretor with her to an English speaking attorney??

Insecurity is the only answer I have for that one. Probably doesn't trust a gringo

>>BB....I sent a PM to the Immigration Lawyer that advises on this site...Hopefully she can help with this issue.

I don't really think her immigration status is an issue, but I'm not a lawyer. I am very familiar with the Latin community and the problems as I met my wife while living in Latin America (and went through a real pain of a 5 year resident visa process), and my wife currently works for a company that caters to the illegal immigrants in our area. I also speak Spanish.

>>Is dad listed as the father on the birth certificate? If you don't know the answer to that question, please find out.

Yes.

>>So, she messed around with an already married man. And allowed herself to get pregnant and have a child with him.

He WAS providing her about $1100-1200 in assistance, with no court order, every month.

And she thought calling his wife was a GOOD idea . . . why?

And what was her source of income BEFORE becoming a kept woman?

Why she called the wife? - she made a big mistake imo. I don't know what she did before the child, but she has refused to look for work after the child. She is an over protective mother who won't allow her child out of her site, much less into day care.

-----------------------------------------

The father apparently makes upwards of 100k. He is a long haul truck driver and owns several trucks, so that is possible. Lets say at least 60k and no more than 120k. He also has 4 other kids.

I'm in no way defending this womans actions or those of her ex lover. It would certainly be best for the child if she either takes him to Guatemala or decides to live with him here (although she is illegal). His actions appear to be just revenge and he doesn't care if the child ends up in foster care.

Again I appreciate all the responses and help.

 

[majomom1]

Let me try to post answers to your questions:

>>Any reason she couldn't take an interpretor with her to an English speaking attorney??

Insecurity is the only answer I have for that one. Probably doesn't trust a gringo

>>BB....I sent a PM to the Immigration Lawyer that advises on this site...Hopefully she can help with this issue.

I don't really think her immigration status is an issue, but I'm not a lawyer. I am very familiar with the Latin community and the problems as I met my wife while living in Latin America (and went through a real pain of a 5 year resident visa process), and my wife currently works for a company that caters to the illegal immigrants in our area. I also speak Spanish.

>>Is dad listed as the father on the birth certificate? If you don't know the answer to that question, please find out.

Yes.

>>So, she messed around with an already married man. And allowed herself to get pregnant and have a child with him.

He WAS providing her about $1100-1200 in assistance, with no court order, every month.

And she thought calling his wife was a GOOD idea . . . why?

And what was her source of income BEFORE becoming a kept woman?

Why she called the wife? - she made a big mistake imo. I don't know what she did before the child, but she has refused to look for work after the child. She is an over protective mother who won't allow her child out of her site, much less into day care.

-----------------------------------------

The father apparently makes upwards of 100k. He is a long haul truck driver and owns several trucks, so that is possible. Lets say at least 60k and no more than 120k. He also has 4 other kids.

I'm in no way defending this womans actions or those of her ex lover. It would certainly be best for the child if she either takes him to Guatemala or decides to live with him here (although she is illegal). His actions appear to be just revenge and he doesn't care if the child ends up in foster care.

Again I appreciate all the responses and help.

I'm sure there are lawyers in FL, who are not Gringo...

She needs to file for CS, although that could raise some questions about her illegal status... She really needs to contact an attorney that is familiar with both immigration and family law. That is the only way she is going to learn what her real options are.

And, she is going to have to work to support herself and the child. That is what a Mother does. She is no better than Dad if she doesn't want to support and provide for her child.

 

[LdiJ]

Let me try to post answers to your questions:

>>Any reason she couldn't take an interpretor with her to an English speaking attorney??

Insecurity is the only answer I have for that one. Probably doesn't trust a gringo

>>BB....I sent a PM to the Immigration Lawyer that advises on this site...Hopefully she can help with this issue.

I don't really think her immigration status is an issue, but I'm not a lawyer. I am very familiar with the Latin community and the problems as I met my wife while living in Latin America (and went through a real pain of a 5 year resident visa process), and my wife currently works for a company that caters to the illegal immigrants in our area. I also speak Spanish.

>>Is dad listed as the father on the birth certificate? If you don't know the answer to that question, please find out.

Yes.

>>So, she messed around with an already married man. And allowed herself to get pregnant and have a child with him.

He WAS providing her about $1100-1200 in assistance, with no court order, every month.

And she thought calling his wife was a GOOD idea . . . why?

And what was her source of income BEFORE becoming a kept woman?

Why she called the wife? - she made a big mistake imo. I don't know what she did before the child, but she has refused to look for work after the child. She is an over protective mother who won't allow her child out of her site, much less into day care.

-----------------------------------------

The father apparently makes upwards of 100k. He is a long haul truck driver and owns several trucks, so that is possible. Lets say at least 60k and no more than 120k. He also has 4 other kids.

I'm in no way defending this womans actions or those of her ex lover. It would certainly be best for the child if she either takes him to Guatemala or decides to live with him here (although she is illegal). His actions appear to be just revenge and he doesn't care if the child ends up in foster care.

Again I appreciate all the responses and help.

I would recommend that she talk to someone at her embassy or consulate to see what kind of help or assistance they might be able to provide.

 

[Ohiogal]

Let me try to post answers to your questions:

>>Any reason she couldn't take an interpretor with her to an English speaking attorney??

Insecurity is the only answer I have for that one. Probably doesn't trust a gringo

Then she needs to stop being racist.

>>BB....I sent a PM to the Immigration Lawyer that advises on this site...Hopefully she can help with this issue.

I don't really think her immigration status is an issue, but I'm not a lawyer. I am very familiar with the Latin community and the problems as I met my wife while living in Latin America (and went through a real pain of a 5 year resident visa process), and my wife currently works for a company that caters to the illegal immigrants in our area. I also speak Spanish.

So what? That means nothing regarding anything. This is an IMMIGRATION issue since she needs to use the courts here and she is here illegally and she has an American child -- a gringo if you will -- one of those she despises.

>>Is dad listed as the father on the birth certificate? If you don't know the answer to that question, please find out.

Yes.

So he signed an AOP? Then without his permission she is NOT getting a passport.

>>So, she messed around with an already married man. And allowed herself to get pregnant and have a child with him.

He WAS providing her about $1100-1200 in assistance, with no court order, every month.

And she thought calling his wife was a GOOD idea . . . why?

And what was her source of income BEFORE becoming a kept woman?

Why she called the wife? - she made a big mistake imo. I don't know what she did before the child, but she has refused to look for work after the child. She is an over protective mother who won't allow her child out of her site, much less into day care.

No. Quite frankly she is lazy. She needs to get off her butt and work. She created a child and she is responsible for financially supporting said child.

The father apparently makes upwards of 100k. He is a long haul truck driver and owns several trucks, so that is possible. Lets say at least 60k and no more than 120k. He also has 4 other kids.

And? Most truckers are NOT making that much money currently. She has to prove it. She is quite frankly going to need an attorney.

I'm in no way defending this womans actions or those of her ex lover. It would certainly be best for the child if she either takes him to Guatemala or decides to live with him here (although she is illegal). His actions appear to be just revenge and he doesn't care if the child ends up in foster care.

Bull. Her actions say a lot about the situation. This child will be best if he remains here NEAR his dad and have his mom here as well. Her actions are the result of this -- she chose to keep her pregnancy. She chose to be here illegally. Shall I continue? She chooses to refuse to support this child. She needs to rectify her situation and get a job instead of being "overprotective" and not want the child in daycare. If she goes to court she could lose custody.

Again I appreciate all the responses and help.

I appreciate people who are not racists. So maybe your friend should grow up and not be racist and be responsible.

 

[nextwife]

Dad HAD been supporting his child, which is MORE than mom seems to be willing to do. To the tune of about $1150/mo for about 1 1/2 years, according to your first post. And most in trucking are suffering huge financial problems these days due to fuel costs. You can't possibly know, nor can she, what he makes. Lots of guys brag to their mistresses, and overstate a lot of things.

M om doesn't want her child in foster care? Then she should also get off her duff and get a JOB to support that child. He is NOT he spouse, even with CS, she needs to be responsible for her share of the financial responsibility for that child.

And her own financial responsibility for herself - THAT will not be ordered by the court

 

[nextwife]

Maybe her little stunt of calling the wife caused the Mrs. to file for divorce - and child support for her FIVE kids. Maybe she'll get half the business.

 

[LdiJ]

Please don't misunderstand me, but I have never considered "gringo" to be a pejorative term. I have always considered it to be no more pejorative than "latino" or "hispanic".

I have been speaking spanish since I was a young teen and have spent a lot of time in Mexico. I am often described as "La gringa que habla espanol" and it doesn't offend me, nor are the people using that term, using it as a pejorative.

Also, latin americans are some of the least racist people out there, because they are even more of a "melting pot" culture than we are in the US.

They are distrusting of "gringos" not because they are racist, but because they are here illegally and they don't know for sure who they can or cannot trust to help them, rather than get them deported.

 

[CourtClerk]

Also, latin americans are some of the least racist people out there, because they are even more of a "melting pot" culture than we are in the US.

You cannot be serious... from personal experience to living in the middle of what is becoming a third world country and believe me, I've been speaking Spanish since I was born, because technically, English is my SECOND language (didn't learn it fluently until I was 8).

This isn't a racial forum, but I can go on and on about how it REALLY is, but yeah, there's a bigger racial divide in the latin culture than you obviously know about.

 

[LdiJ]

You cannot be serious... from personal experience to living in the middle of what is becoming a third world country and believe me, I've been speaking Spanish since I was born, because technically, English is my SECOND language (didn't learn it fluently until I was 8).

This isn't a racial forum, but I can go on and on about how it REALLY is, but yeah, there's a bigger racial divide in the latin culture than you obviously know about.

I guess my experiences have been different. However I have honestly never seen someone use that term as a pejorative.