Spousal Maintenance?

[mycroft7]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VT

I am 57 and my wife is 70. We were married for 18 years, which gives her permanency by 3 years. She quit her job in 2000 at a restaurant and went for early retirement, 2 years too early for full SSI. She has been supplementing her income since then by babysitting for family and friends and bringing home about $130 weekly, cash. She now collects $830/month SSI. I worked up through the ranks of the federal government, starting as a GS-4 in 1992 and I became a GS-9 last year. My earnings for 1993 were $16,817, I didn't make more than $26,000 until 2002, and didn't make over $39,000 until 2007. My current salary is $49,900, roughly.

We paid for nearly everything with credit cards, all in my name, until 2005 when we started cutting back. She couldn't obtain credit until the late 90s and has 4 cards now. Our total debt is $25,000 and $18,000 of that is in my name. She had no trouble with us using credit until the summer of 2005, when she started complaining about the debt load and urged me to try credit counseling and debt management. I tried all those but found they couldn't help because half my accounts were closed for usage, only able to pay on them. For the last 3 years, we were getting tons of calls from these debt/credit resolution companies, at least 4 a day. She would leave them on the answering machine until I got home.

That wasn't the only pressure she was putting on me. She was engaging in accusing me of cheating, blaming me for everything wrong with our marriage or around the apartment, yelling screaming and crying frequently, using foul language more than I had ever heard her use. Then on June 11 of this year, we had a big vocal fight and I told her I wanted her out of the house. Her attitude completely changed and she said, "Well, finally! It only took over 2 years of me pressuring you to get you to do something about it!" Then, she was all business, sorted out her stuff and left the apartment 5 days later. She called one of my friends later and made the same "finally" statement to him. She filed for divorce in early July.

It's my belief that she has planned a divorce for a long time, at least since 2003 and possibly since 2000, because of her early retirement. She also informed me on the very day of the fight that she had a lawyer, whom I found out later is a very prominent one with a $5,000 retainer. Since the money never came from our joint accounts and I never saw her with more income, and since she now seems to be keeping up with all of her expenses with money to spare, I believe she has hidden money from me, perhaps even making extra undeclared income for some time.

There is also no doubt in my mind whatsoever that she has been having a long-term affair with a person who has been our landlord in another apartment building, starting in 1989. But I have no proof, just the strong clues I've gathered over the years. A PI may be able to prove it.

Meanwhile, covering the monthly debt payments, gas for the car (I live 37 miles away from work), expenses such as rent, heating/cooking propane, meals, payments on the car, and assorted other common expenses, I am just barely able to make ends meet. I do not go out to eat, I don't go out for entertainment, I have satellite TV for $27 monthly, my rent is $425/month, but is going to be $475 next month, and I have cut out all extras wherever I could to keep afloat. Moving closer to work is out of the question, because rents get higher the closer I get to that city.

If I have to pay spousal maintenance, any amount will short me on my ability to pay for everything. As a federal employee with a certain department, I cannot moonlight because of possible conflict of interest. If my credit goes bad due to defaulting or late payments, it will negatively impact my job and there is a probability that it could lead to my eventual dismissal.

My wife has lied about her finances, bank account, and the value of her personal property. I can get proof of both. I also believe that through depositions and subpoenas for bank records enough evidence can be garnered to prove she is currently capable of paying all of her bills, expenses, and then some. She also knows the effect that taking my pay will have on my debt standing, ability to remain in the apartment, and my career. My current lawyer says there is no way that I can avoid paying her spousal maintenance.

Is there a way?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by mycroft7

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VT

I am 51 and my wife is 70. We were married for 18 years, which gives her permanency by 3 years. She quit her job in 2000 at a restaurant and went for early retirement, 2 years too early for full SSI. She has been supplementing her income since then by babysitting for family and friends and bringing home about $130 weekly, cash. She now collects $830/month SSI. I worked up through the ranks of the federal government, starting as a GS-4 in 1992 and I became a GS-9 last year. My earnings for 1993 were $16,817, I didn't make more than $26,000 until 2002, and didn't make over $39,000 until 2007. My current salary is $49,900, roughly.

We paid for nearly everything with credit cards, all in my name, until 2005 when we started cutting back. She couldn't obtain credit until the late 90s and has 4 cards now. Our total debt is $25,000 and $18,000 of that is in my name. She had no trouble with us using credit until the summer of 2005, when she started complaining about the debt load and urged me to try credit counseling and debt management. I tried all those but found they couldn't help because half my accounts were closed for usage, only able to pay on them. For the last 3 years, we were getting tons of calls from these debt/credit resolution companies, at least 4 a day. She would leave them on the answering machine until I got home.

That wasn't the only pressure she was putting on me. She was engaging in accusing me of cheating, blaming me for everything wrong with our marriage or around the apartment, yelling screaming and crying frequently, using foul language more than I had ever heard her use. Then on June 11 of this year, we had a big vocal fight and I told her I wanted her out of the house. Her attitude completely changed and she said, "Well, finally! It only took over 2 years of me pressuring you to get you to do something about it!" Then, she was all business, sorted out her stuff and left the apartment 5 days later. She called one of my friends later and made the same "finally" statement to him. She filed for divorce in early July.

It's my belief that she has planned a divorce for a long time, at least since 2003 and possibly since 2000, because of her early retirement. She also informed me on the very day of the fight that she had a lawyer, whom I found out later is a very prominent one with a $5,000 retainer. Since the money never came from our joint accounts and I never saw her with more income, and since she now seems to be keeping up with all of her expenses with money to spare, I believe she has hidden money from me, perhaps even making extra undeclared income for some time.

There is also no doubt in my mind whatsoever that she has been having a long-term affair with a person who has been our landlord in another apartment building, starting in 1989. But I have no proof, just the strong clues I've gathered over the years. A PI may be able to prove it.

Meanwhile, covering the monthly debt payments, gas for the car (I live 37 miles away from work), expenses such as rent, heating/cooking propane, meals, payments on the car, and assorted other common expenses, I am just barely able to make ends meet. I do not go out to eat, I don't go out for entertainment, I have satellite TV for $27 monthly, my rent is $425/month, but is going to be $475 next month, and I have cut out all extras wherever I could to keep afloat. Moving closer to work is out of the question, because rents get higher the closer I get to that city.

If I have to pay spousal maintenance, any amount will short me on my ability to pay for everything. As a federal employee with a certain department, I cannot moonlight because of possible conflict of interest. If my credit goes bad due to defaulting or late payments, it will negatively impact my job and there is a probability that it could lead to my eventual dismissal.

My wife has lied about her finances, bank account, and the value of her personal property. I can get proof of both. I also believe that through depositions and subpoenas for bank records enough evidence can be garnered to prove she is currently capable of paying all of her bills, expenses, and then some. She also knows the effect that taking my pay will have on my debt standing, ability to remain in the apartment, and my career. My current lawyer says there is no way that I can avoid paying her spousal maintenance.

Is there a way?

Ok...lets start out with the obvious. Your wife is 70. You have been married for 18 years therefore she was 52 when you married. Its very possible that she had premarital assets which would remain her separate property. However its also possible that she did not. Her family may be helping her now.

Also, you are going to have a hard time convincing a judge that she is not on a fixed income. She is 70 and no matter how healthy she is, there are limits to what she can do, and those limits will tighten fairly rapidly, as she gets older. Even if she has income from a premarital 401k or IRA, for example, its still a fixed income, it just may be a higher fixed income than she appears to have now.

And the whole idea of the affair? Don't even go there. An affair is not going to make any real difference at this point, and honestly you would have a very hard time convincing a judge that 51 year old you was being cheated on by 70 year old her.

I realize that your living expenses are quite low, but servicing 18k of debt, plus your low living expenses, should not be so difficult on your current salary.

You need to sit down and seriously compare total cost where you are living now, vs total cost if you lived closer to your work. You need to examine it from all angles...rent, utilities, gasoline. If you are contributing to a 401k, you may need to cut back.

[mycroft7]

Thanks. Had to make a correction on my age since I hadn't noticed the typo.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by mycroft7

Thanks. Had to make a correction on my age since I hadn't noticed the typo.

Ok, she is 13 years older than you rather than 19 years older than you. That isn't going to change any of the answers. She is still well past retirement age and you still have a ways to go yet. She is still well past the age where any court would expect her to "earn income" and you are still a ways to go yet.

You still need to re-evaluate your own living arrangements as far as what is the most cost efficient.