spousal support

[verysadmom]

What is the name of your state? FL
My husband of 4 years (together for 11) recently told me he no longer wants to be married. We have a 2 year old and I am pregnant now. Financially he wants to support us 100%. He wants us to sell our home, use the money to pay off current debt, and then I can have the rest which should be about $40,000. I can also have our savings. He will pay for us to get a new house and will pay all monthly bills. And will pay to keep me on his insurance since I am a stay at home mom. He makes a great salary, and is planning on giving me half of his income. He also gets very large bonuses and I want half of that as well, and he is fine with it. So pretty much he is willing to give me anything I want, financially. We have not officially seperated yet, but I know that is what he wants. Should I go see a lawyer and get all this in writing? Will a lawyer try to talk him out of being so generous? Should I wait until he moves out or should I try to find a lawyer now? Everyone is pushing me to get a lawyer to ensure me and the kids are taken care of. I read the posts and it seems that spousal support is given for half the length of the marriage, but I know my husband will pay me as long as I want it. Thats what he is saying now, anyway. Please help. Thanks for any advice.

[nextwife]

I'm just curious. In five years your kids will be in school. Why wouldn't you want to help support yourself when you no longer need to be a SAHM? What if he were suddenly disabled and couldn't work? I've seen that happen. What if something happened and his income took a dive? My husband's industry pays far less today, for example, than in it's glory days.

Why would you want to be TOTALLY dependent on him?

[verysadmom]

I have a college education, and will be starting graduate school in January. I don't want to be dependent on him forever, but if he is willing to pay should I turn down money that could only make things easier for me and the kids? I do plan on going back to work once the kids are in school.

[stealth2]

I wouldn't count on any of what he's telling you - as soon as he talks to a lawyer, his tune will change dramatically. What he's proposing is above and beyond what anyone would consider reasonable.

He may not be allowed by his insurance company to keep you on his insurance. The kids, yes. You? Uh uh. It's unlikely that a judge would award you alimony on a four year marriage. 50% of his income for CS? Not likely to happen. You really do need to speak with an attorney to find out what you're more likely to get.

[verysadmom]

Thanks for the advice. Maybe i'll first talk to him and let him know that what he is willing to pay is more than what he will have to pay. Maybe he will still want to pay it?

[snodderly]

Thanks for the advice. Maybe i'll first talk to him and let him know that what he is willing to pay is more than what he will have to pay. Maybe he will still want to pay it?

Why would you want to do that? Never look a gift horse in the face!! Sure, he is offering you more than a judge would give you BUT there are men in the world who are guided by morals or maybe guilt. Whichever, take advantage of it. Let's face it, he is leaving you pregnant with a small child. He should have to pay and he should have to pay out the butt.

You are going to start graduate school with a new baby and small child. How easy is that going to be on you? How much easier would it be on you if you had a husband living at home to support you and help care for his children. He is leaving, he will see the children maybe once during the week, every other weekend and he won't be the one worrying about studying, taking care of kids, their home and all that comes along with that. If he can't be there to support you and his children emotionally and morally, then let him support you financially until you are able to get through school and get in a better position.

This is what you do...beat a path to the nearest attorney. Get it all in writing, get it signed by him and then get a judges signature on it. Don't tell him he is offering more than he has to...he is offering exactly what any man who walks out on a pregnant wife should offer! You get to an attorney before he does because once he does more than likely it will turn adversarily and when you end up in family court you will find yourself barely able to make ends meet while he is out there free as a bird and with most of the cash. Good luck to ya!