Spousal support

[melissajoo]

Hi. I am inquiring about what the possibility of receiving spousal support in Indiana based on the following scenerio. I am writing on behalf of a friend that is facing an upcoming court date and this is being requested of him. The situation is that they were married for 9 years. He left in December of 2008 and continued to maintain direct deposit and her pay the bills for several months thereafter. Due to an upcoming bankruptcy being filed, payments on the house ceased by both parties. They have no kids together. She once had a good job at Fed Ex at the beginning of the marriage but was let go. They then co-owned a business which lead to financial disaster and all was slowly lost. He maintained several jobs at a time during this time to provide for their needs. She then reluctantly got a job as a school janitor. Her lawyer is requesting spousal support, although she lives with her grown son and has employment and the mental and physical ability to make more but chooses to stay with the same job. She also chose to maintain a car payment that is well out of her means. Would any of this warrant her receiving spousal support from a man who worked hard throughout their marriage because she had no ambition to after she lost her very well paying job? Thank you all for your guidance.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by melissajoo

Hi. I am inquiring about what the possibility of receiving spousal support in Indiana based on the following scenerio. I am writing on behalf of a friend that is facing an upcoming court date and this is being requested of him. The situation is that they were married for 9 years. He left in December of 2008 and continued to maintain direct deposit and her pay the bills for several months thereafter. Due to an upcoming bankruptcy being filed, payments on the house ceased by both parties. They have no kids together. She once had a good job at Fed Ex at the beginning of the marriage but was let go. They then co-owned a business which lead to financial disaster and all was slowly lost. He maintained several jobs at a time during this time to provide for their needs. She then reluctantly got a job as a school janitor. Her lawyer is requesting spousal support, although she lives with her grown son and has employment and the mental and physical ability to make more but chooses to stay with the same job. She also chose to maintain a car payment that is well out of her means. Would any of this warrant her receiving spousal support from a man who worked hard throughout their marriage because she had no ambition to after she lost her very well paying job? Thank you all for your guidance.

Are we to assume you are Dad's new gf/fiancee?

[Proserpina]

Your "friend" needs an attorney, and needs to read this:

The following is a summary of Indiana alimony laws, and is by no means intended to be an all-inclusive description of what to expect in your particular case. In some cases, the exact text of the statute may have been simplified and/or modified to provide for easier understanding. For a more specific understanding of the laws, you should consult the full Indiana Code and/or consult with an attorney about how the law might apply to your particular situation.

A court may order alimony if it finds that:

(a) a spouse is physically or mentally incapacitated, to the extent that the ability of the incapacitated spouse to support himself or herself is materially affected,

(b) a spouse lacks sufficient property, including marital property apportioned to the spouse, to provide for the spouse's needs; or

(c) the spouse is the custodian of a child whose physical or mental incapacity requires the custodian to forgo employment.

Indiana laws allow the court to consider the following factors when determining an award of alimony:

(A) the educational level of each spouse at the time of marriage and at the time the divorce is filed;

(B) whether an interruption in the education, training, or employment of a spouse who is seeking maintenance occurred during the marriage as a result of homemaking or child care responsibilities, or both;

(C) the earning capacity of each spouse, including educational background, training, employment skills, work experience, and length of presence in or absence from the job market; and

(D) the time and expense necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the spouse who is seeking maintenance to find appropriate employment.

A court may award rehabilitative alimony if necessary, in an amount and for a period of time that the court considers appropriate, but not to exceed 3 years from the date of the final decree.

-From 31-15-7-2 of the Indiana Code.

[nextwife]

HE is in bankruptcy? What is his income situation? Simply WANTING spousal support may not be sufficient-sounds like the previous "lifestyle" was highly unsustainable.

[melissajoo]

He is not in bankruptcy at this time because he is being garnished to the max for the business that they had that went under, as well as her. They have no kids together and I do not see where she falls under the criteria support support. They have been at different residences since December 2008, although he maintained the mortgage on her (and her grown sons)residence until about March 2009 until advised by bankruptcy lawyer not to since the house was being returned to the bank due to it being collateral for failed business. She just moved out, with her grown son, in September 2009. He left with few items and locks were changed to not be allowed anything else. I would think that them not having kids together and her ability to apply for a better paying job, like I see being offered in our area comparible to where she is now, would not warrant her support. Could I be wrong? Yes, I am the current girlfriend and it's hard to see someone who gave all being taking advantage of. Thank you all for your input. Have a good day.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by melissajoo

He is not in bankruptcy at this time because he is being garnished to the max for the business that they had that went under, as well as her. They have no kids together and I do not see where she falls under the criteria support support. They have been at different residences since December 2008, although he maintained the mortgage on her (and her grown sons)residence until about March 2009 until advised by bankruptcy lawyer not to since the house was being returned to the bank due to it being collateral for failed business. She just moved out, with her grown son, in September 2009. He left with few items and locks were changed to not be allowed anything else. I would think that them not having kids together and her ability to apply for a better paying job, like I see being offered in our area comparible to where she is now, would not warrant her support. Could I be wrong? Yes, I am the current girlfriend and it's hard to see someone who gave all being taking advantage of. Thank you all for your input. Have a good day.

You need to back way the heck up and out. Stay OUT of this situation.

He was helping her pay her bills and supporting her. Hence, she needs support and he has the capability temporarily. Add in his adultery and that makes life interesting.

He is being taken advantage of? Really? I am sure you know the wife's story as well and are completely neutral and unbiased about who to believe.

HOw long have you been involved/known him? Before or after he decided to quit paying her bills? Before or after they began living separately?


ETA: Has married guy bought you any gifts? Taken you out for dinner or a movie or gone anywhere and paid? Has he helped you with your bills? Do you live with married guy?

[melissajoo]

Ohiogal,

I have my own house and support myself, as well as he has his own. My details in no way pertain to or alter what has happened in his life.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by melissajoo

Ohiogal,

I have my own house and support myself, as well as he has his own. My details in no way pertain to or alter what has happened in his life.

Oh but they do. ANY money he has spent on his adulterous lover (you) is considered dissipation of marital assets. ANY money. Be it a dinner out, giving you money for a bill, sharing your mortgage, buying you gifts. You are in an adulterous relationship with a married man. THAT impacts things a lot. And it pertains to HIS divorce. Why? because he is married and has a chick on the side.

ETA: It is very possible if she knows about you that YOU will get a court order to testify, provide information including bank account and financial information if boyfriend has ever given you money, or to be deposed. So YOUR details since you are involved in an adulterous relationship can matter.

[melissajoo]

I can see this must have been a personal issue dear to you since you seem to carry a vendeta against many on here from what I have read. I will leave it at that.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by melissajoo

I can see this must have been a personal issue dear to you since you seem to carry a vendeta against many on here from what I have read. I will leave it at that.

Nope, you would be wrong. You can choose to ignore the respected attorney and GAL, of course. But do so at your own peril.

OG has no axe to grind or any personal vendetta - the common denominator seems to be people who don't like the cold hard truth.

We can't help that.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by melissajoo

I can see this must have been a personal issue dear to you since you seem to carry a vendeta against many on here from what I have read. I will leave it at that.

YOu are clueless quite frankly. If I represented wifey, I could legally access all of YOUR financial information due to the fact that you are carrying on an adulterous relationship with my client's spouse and hence there are financial issues that brings up -- dissipation of marital assets for one. So YOUR situation matters a lot. The fact that you are engaged in an adulterous relationship matters a lot. Have a good day.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Oh but they do. ANY money he has spent on his adulterous lover (you) is considered dissipation of marital assets. ANY money. Be it a dinner out, giving you money for a bill, sharing your mortgage, buying you gifts. You are in an adulterous relationship with a married man.

OG, for the sake of clarity and argument, if a spouse had funds from, say, a family trust fund, or other premarital assets and dipped into only those funds for their paramour, would one REALLY be able to consider ANY money they spent as dissipation of marital assets?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by nextwife

OG, for the sake of clarity and argument, if a spouse had funds from, say, a family trust fund, or other premarital assets and dipped into only those funds for their paramour, would one REALLY be able to consider ANY money they spent as dissipation of marital assets?

Yes it could be considered that way. If I find money going to the paramour from the spouse I would make the argument and it would be up to the individual to defend against it and prove that the funds came from SEPARATE property. They would have to show the tracing. For instance if I were wife's attorney, I would be subpoenaing the bank records of hubby. I would be determining what the money was spent on -- restaurants, lingerie or what not. I would be looking for cash withdrawals. Then if he bought lingerie (think Victoria's Secret) or jewelry or flowers or even a dinner with a large bill, I would be looking at girlfriend. I would be deposing hubby. If hubby mentioned giving chickie any cash or going to dinner with her -- depositions are under oath, I would be requesting and order from the court to depose chickie and moving for an order requiring ALL of her financial records. I could cause enough grief for relevant purposes that chickie's whole financial picture would be laid open or she would give up and leave. Such orders can be granted and relatively easily. Because quite frankly adultery can be relevant when it comes to property.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Yes it could be considered that way. If I find money going to the paramour from the spouse I would make the argument and it would be up to the individual to defend against it and prove that the funds came from SEPARATE property. They would have to show the tracing. For instance if I were wife's attorney, I would be subpoenaing the bank records of hubby. I would be determining what the money was spent on -- restaurants, lingerie or what not. I would be looking for cash withdrawals. Then if he bought lingerie (think Victoria's Secret) or jewelry or flowers or even a dinner with a large bill, I would be looking at girlfriend. I would be deposing hubby. If hubby mentioned giving chickie any cash or going to dinner with her -- depositions are under oath, I would be requesting and order from the court to depose chickie and moving for an order requiring ALL of her financial records. I could cause enough grief for relevant purposes that chickie's whole financial picture would be laid open or she would give up and leave. Such orders can be granted and relatively easily. Because quite frankly adultery can be relevant when it comes to property.

This is why you should never buy a business associate lunch.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

This is why you should never buy a business associate lunch.

LOL. Does this mean if you come to Ohio we go Dutch?