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  1. #1
    geewhizzer is offline Junior Member
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    Spousal support after 37 yr marriage

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

    I have been married for 37 years, my husband was the primary breadwinner and career person. I basically raised the 3 children and worked full time at non skilled jobs.
    There is just no love present in our relationship any longer. He is negative, moody, selfish, and downright rude to me. However, he is a good supporter financially, never physically abusive, only verbal.
    I would like to end the marriage but I do not think I can support myself on what money I make, I could never make the house payment!
    I am 55 yrs old, what type of support from him could I hope to get if divorced?
    What about Social Security?? His estimated retirement check is 3 times larger than mine will be.
  2. #2
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    You can get SS retirement based on his credits because you were married 10+ years. You may wish to contact SS Administration and ask what your benefits may be based on your and his records.

    What are your respective incomes, what marital assets and marital debts exist? 401Ks of each, IRAs of each, retirement pension plans of each, etc.

    How close to retirement is he now? Are you both still able bodied, etc.

    (I am older than you, parent of a 13 year old, and expect to continue working full time for a good dozen more years, at least)
    Last edited by nextwife; 07-01-2011 at 11:11 AM.
  3. #3
    geewhizzer is offline Junior Member
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    my annual income @ $22,000, his is $95,000

    we own a house worth 240,000 with a mortgage of 110,000

    I have no retirement benefits, and a IRA of $18,000
    He has about $600 a month for retirement benefits

    We have a joint IRA of 300,000 for retirement

    However, retirement is a long way away**************.....I am 55, and he is 57
    I am not sure if I can support myself financially until I can rely on retirement money.
  4. #4
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geewhizzer View Post
    my annual income @ $22,000, his is $95,000

    we own a house worth 240,000 with a mortgage of 110,000

    I have no retirement benefits, and a IRA of $18,000
    He has about $600 a month for retirement benefits

    We have a joint IRA of 300,000 for retirement

    However, retirement is a long way away**************.....I am 55, and he is 57
    I am not sure if I can support myself financially until I can rely on retirement money.
    You would each get half of the total retirement benefits (other than social security or any non-vested pension).

    You each would get 1/2 of any other marital assets and be responsible for 1/2 of any marital debt.

    Due to the length of your marriage and the disparity in your incomes its virtually guaranteed that you would get alimony, however its difficult to predict how much.

    It would probably be better to sell the house and split the proceeds, and get something more affordable. If either one of you keep the house you would have to refinance it for enough to buy out the other's share of the equity.
  5. #5
    Tex78704 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    ...Due to the length of your marriage and the disparity in your incomes its virtually guaranteed that you would get alimony, however its difficult to predict how much...
    Texas does not have alimony, and by statute limits spousal support to three years max, with few exceptions.
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tex78704 View Post
    Texas does not have alimony, and by statute limits spousal support to three years max, with few exceptions.
    Alimony and spousal support are the same thing basically, therefore I consider the words to be interchangeable. After 37 years of marriage I suspect this would be one of those "few exceptions" cases. However, even if it is not, she would still get the three years.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Alimony and spousal support are the same thing basically, therefore I consider the words to be interchangeable. After 37 years of marriage I suspect this would be one of those "few exceptions" cases. However, even if it is not, she would still get the three years.
    She might get the three years. The statute is VERY SPECIFIC unlike other states.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    garrula lingua is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    You would each get half of the total retirement benefits (other than social security or any non-vested pension).

    You each would get 1/2 of any other marital assets and be responsible for 1/2 of any marital debt.

    Due to the length of your marriage and the disparity in your incomes its virtually guaranteed that you would get alimony, however its difficult to predict how much.
    It would probably be better to sell the house and split the proceeds, and get something more affordable. If either one of you keep the house you would have to refinance it for enough to buy out the other's share of the equity.
    Absolutely wrong for Texas.

    Texas uses 'maintenance' as a retraining/rehab for work tool: it is NOT guaranteed that OP will get ANY maintenance/alimony.

    Many Judges (and it is within their discretion) will only order 'maintenance' during the pendency of the divorce. The Tx Judge has the ability to order maintenance for three years after the divorce, but most Judges do NOT, unless person is disabled.

    Sorry to say, a marriage of 37 years and disparity of income is NOT such "a great exception" to the Tx Judges I have appeared before (but parties can agree to maintenance).

    OP, as well as what has been mentioned, if you divorce, make sure your attorney understands whether a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is needed for Husband's retirement account(s) with his employer. Many attorneys appear to forget to complete that, and you may lose a portion of his retirement funds which belong to you.
  9. #9
    Bali Hai is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by garrula lingua View Post
    Absolutely wrong for Texas.

    Texas uses 'maintenance' as a retraining/rehab for work tool: it is NOT guaranteed that OP will get ANY maintenance/alimony.

    Many Judges (and it is within their discretion) will only order 'maintenance' during the pendency of the divorce. The Tx Judge has the ability to order maintenance for three years after the divorce, but most Judges do NOT, unless person is disabled.

    Sorry to say, a marriage of 37 years and disparity of income is NOT such "a great exception" to the Tx Judges I have appeared before (but parties can agree to maintenance).

    OP, as well as what has been mentioned, if you divorce, make sure your attorney understands whether a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is needed for Husband's retirement account(s) with his employer. Many attorneys appear to forget to complete that, and you may lose a portion of his retirement funds which belong to you.
    I wonder how Texas got it right, all other states should legislate the same "maintenance" statutes.

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