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  #1  
Old 11-28-2004, 06:53 PM
Ronnielynn
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Spousal support/married 29 years


What is the name of your state? MO

I have been married to my husband for 29 years. He recently decided he no longer wants to be married. The problems started last year, shortly after I was diagnoised with cancer.

I am very fearful for my future, a possibility of recurrence, and how I will survive if this illness returns and/or I lose my job. I work for his sister's company.

Am I entitled to support? Or future support should I get sick again? I am still under treatment, with scans every 3 months at this time.

I don't want this divorce either, I believe this could work, with the smallest amount of effort. I also have religious convictions regarding remaining married. Is there anything I can do to stop a divorce?

Thank you for our help.
  #2  
Old 11-28-2004, 07:50 PM
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It is entirely likely that you would be leigible for spousal support. If I were in your shoes, I would consult with an attorney immediately.

It's unlikely that you could stop the divorce, but you can do your best to get a decent deal out of it. I'm sorry for the troubles you're having.
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  #3  
Old 11-28-2004, 08:12 PM
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If he hasn't filed for divorce yet, then YOU go to an attorney and file for a legal separation. It doesn't mean you have to follow through with a divorce but it does give him food for thought.

Why? Because in your petition you're going to ask for the marital home, the marital car, Separate Maintenance in the amount of $1,500 a month, requirement that he keep you on his insurance or, if he has none, pay for your medical bills, take all marital debt AND be removed from the marital home.

The grounds for your legal separation? Number 4 below.

The grounds for legal separation in Missouri are an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, which may include the following factors: (1) adultery; (2) abandonment; (3) separation caused by misconduct in the 12 months before filing the petition; (4) spousal behavior that the other spouse cannot reasonably be expected to live with; and (5) living separate and apart continuously for 24 months. One of the spouses must be a resident of Missouri for 90 days before filing for legal separation. [Annotated Missouri Statutes; Title 30, Chapter 452, Sections 305 and 320].

Let this jackass have some time on his own to think about things.
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  #4  
Old 11-28-2004, 08:16 PM
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Listen to what BB's saying, and act asap.
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Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them in with your favorite colors.
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini



*********
R.I.P. Penny.
8/12/97 - 11/12/09
She was a good hound,
and a good friend.
She will be missed.

*********
  #5  
Old 11-28-2004, 08:20 PM
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Aww BB you do have a heart Ma'am I am sorry that in the toughest moments of your life that the person you should be able to count on is being such a hmm well I wont say it. I agree with Stealth and BB. God Bless and my prayers are with you
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  #6  
Old 11-29-2004, 03:49 PM
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May I also suggest attempting to get the two of you into counseling? A serious illness can create complications in the marriage and difficult emotional challenges that many men have trouble facing. My dad became terminally ill when I was in my teens, and it was a contentious atmosphere for a while for both of them as they adjusted to the change in their lives. Friends were uncomfortable and less available. Then there is a change in routine (therapies, meds, etc) and the personality changes that were brought on by the meds and the illness. He may be running away from feeling inadequat in his ability to "support" you, emotionally, and his inability to protect you. I know this is not Dear Abbey, but I've lived in a household that experienced the strains of a fearful illness and may perhaps have an added perspective.
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  #7  
Old 11-29-2004, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
know this is not Dear Abbey, but I've lived in a household that experienced the strains of a fearful illness and may perhaps have an added perspective.
Ahhh cmon nexie, let's cut to the chase. ALL men are A**HOLES. Some of us just hide it sooooooo well
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  #8  
Old 11-29-2004, 04:01 PM
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Maybe all EXCEPT my husband, and of course my dad!
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  #9  
Old 11-29-2004, 11:12 PM
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Nextwife, I agree with you. When people go through hard times, whether it be illness, loss of job or a loss of a child, counseling is definitely the route to take. I lost both my parents through serious illnesses. There were eight children all under the age of 20. We went for counseling, with open minds and life got better.

BelizeBreeze, who let you out to play? I thought you were grounded for not playing fairly.
  #10  
Old 11-30-2004, 06:49 AM
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Quote:
BelizeBreeze, who let you out to play? I thought you were grounded for not playing fairly.
Well Congrats!!! Still posting crap I see
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  #11  
Old 11-30-2004, 03:03 PM
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I hope and pray that you are not an attorney. It's attitudes like your's that make the world a little harder to deal with each day. As far as someone posting crap, I think you have it wrong. You state rude and mean answers. People are looking for help not rude or mean answers.
  #12  
Old 11-30-2004, 03:42 PM
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Oh brother.
__________________
Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them in with your favorite colors.
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini



*********
R.I.P. Penny.
8/12/97 - 11/12/09
She was a good hound,
and a good friend.
She will be missed.

*********
  #13  
Old 11-30-2004, 04:02 PM
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Location: "Harvey and Me"
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Oh Sister!
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Just because I'm a miserable human being doesn't mean I'm not right...
  #14  
Old 11-30-2004, 06:02 PM
Ronnielynn
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I want to thank each of you for your replies.

I may have him convinced to get some counseling, I know it certainly could help.
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