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  1. #1
    audrey is offline Junior Member
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    Spousal support question

    What is the name of your state? Oregon

    My fiance divorced his wife of 17 years and is paying child & spousal support for 11 years since the divorce has been official. His ex has custody of the 2 children since she was a stay-at-home mother and did not have a job while married, despite my fiance's desires to have the children with him. I am concerned that his ex is going to demand lifetime spousal support after the 11 years are up and that she might actually get it since she has poor health (has MS). She just quit her part-time job and is not actively searching for another job. She has not tried to take any classes or make herself more marketable, and is living in such a way that make her MS symptoms more severe (i.e., eating fast food--she used to be on a non-fat diet that dramatically helped to alieviate MS symptoms). My fiance has been very generous with her throughout the divorce process (i.e., allowed her to keep the house, voluntarily increased child support) but I don't want to see him stuck paying spousal support for the rest of his life when his ex is not being responsible for her own health, finances, etc. Since I think that the courts will probably sympathize with her and agree to lifetime support, what are some protective measures my fiance can take to show the courts that she could have become more self-supportive and is somewhat responsible for her health? My fiance is attempting to keep a log of events (i.e., jots down if he finds out his ex is eating fast food). Any suggestions?
  2. #2
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    yes, tell finance to hire and attorney and find another finance who doesn't meddle in HIS affairs.
  3. #3
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by audrey View Post
    What is the name of your state? Oregon
    My fiance divorced his wife of 17 years and is paying child & spousal support for 11 years since the divorce has been official. His ex has custody of the 2 children since she was a stay-at-home mother and did not have a job while married, despite my fiance's desires to have the children with him. I am concerned that his ex is going to demand lifetime spousal support after the 11 years are up and that she might actually get it since she has poor health (has MS). She just quit her part-time job and is not actively searching for another job. She has not tried to take any classes or make herself more marketable, and is living in such a way that make her MS symptoms more severe (i.e., eating fast food--she used to be on a non-fat diet that dramatically helped to alieviate MS symptoms). My fiance has been very generous with her throughout the divorce process (i.e., allowed her to keep the house, voluntarily increased child support) but I don't want to see him stuck paying spousal support for the rest of his life when his ex is not being responsible for her own health, finances, etc. Since I think that the courts will probably sympathize with her and agree to lifetime support, what are some protective measures my fiance can take to show the courts that she could have become more self-supportive and is somewhat responsible for her health? My fiance is attempting to keep a log of events (i.e., jots down if he finds out his ex is eating fast food). Any suggestions?
    Good grief.
  4. #4
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by audrey View Post
    What is the name of your state? Oregon

    My fiance divorced his wife of 17 years and is paying child & spousal support for 11 years since the divorce has been official. His ex has custody of the 2 children since she was a stay-at-home mother and did not have a job while married, despite my fiance's desires to have the children with him. I am concerned that his ex is going to demand lifetime spousal support after the 11 years are up and that she might actually get it since she has poor health (has MS). She just quit her part-time job and is not actively searching for another job. She has not tried to take any classes or make herself more marketable, and is living in such a way that make her MS symptoms more severe (i.e., eating fast food--she used to be on a non-fat diet that dramatically helped to alieviate MS symptoms). My fiance has been very generous with her throughout the divorce process (i.e., allowed her to keep the house, voluntarily increased child support) but I don't want to see him stuck paying spousal support for the rest of his life when his ex is not being responsible for her own health, finances, etc. Since I think that the courts will probably sympathize with her and agree to lifetime support, what are some protective measures my fiance can take to show the courts that she could have become more self-supportive and is somewhat responsible for her health? My fiance is attempting to keep a log of events (i.e., jots down if he finds out his ex is eating fast food). Any suggestions?

    You have no input in being concerned that his ex may try for lifetime support. As for MS it is a debilitating disease that can cause individuals to be unable to work. People can go downhill rapidly. As for the fact that your fiance is keeping a log of events such as his ex eating fast food -- he has no right doing that. It is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS what she is eating or what she does. As for how long she will receive spousal support -- what does his original court order say about when it terminates? Spousal support is NOT going to be enough to cover all of her expenses.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  5. #5
    audrey is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for all your help, guys. This is definitely a great site to get good advice.
  6. #6
    Bali Hai is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by audrey View Post
    Thanks for all your help, guys. This is definitely a great site to get good advice.
    Reality check:

    If the wife of 17 years is disabled and cannot work, someone is going to need to provide assistance to her. It comes down to who pays. It will be the husband of 17 years or you, me and every other person reading this.

    What do you think the court will decide?

    And frankly the judge won't give a damn if she ate a cheeseburger.
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bali Hai View Post
    Reality check:


    And frankly the judge won't give a damn if she ate a cheeseburger.
    Particularly if a cheeseburger was all she could afford. On the McDonald's dollar menu you can get a double cheeseburger for a buck plus tax....a salad costs a WHOLE lot more.
    Last edited by LdiJ; 11-30-2006 at 07:53 PM.

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